Ho ho ho
Lyla Garrity is a ho. But how could she not fall for Riggins, even if just for a few episodes?
And what about Street? Damn he's got heart.
Oh, and Tyra's hot.
And what about Street? Damn he's got heart.
Oh, and Tyra's hot.
Finally, some respect
The NY Times gives props to a few of my favorite shows, and a few others that I should probabaly start watching.
Also, I would argue that Tina Fey is the only funny female actor on the planet. I would love to be proven wrong, but I probably won't. Say Cameron Diaz and see what happens.
Also, I would argue that Tina Fey is the only funny female actor on the planet. I would love to be proven wrong, but I probably won't. Say Cameron Diaz and see what happens.
The Results Are In
Figure 1: Party poll results
Figure 2: Adjusted binary party poll resultsAt work, I tend to play a game I like to call "Is what I'm doing a transferable skill?" For example: computer skills like navigating the internet (hi perez!) with great efficiency are a transferable skill. Formatting a text box to fit 3 sub-bullets equally spaced vertically, with a note row (font size 7) and source row (font size 7, italicized), is not.
What I would argue is a transferable skill, is the ability to make 3-D pie charts. Nothing can convey the message of, say, the attendance plans of a potential New Years party like a 3-D pie chart. Figure 1 shows the raw data of the poll. Figure 2 converts these answers, based on some probability assumptions, that people will or wont attend. The results are undeniable: some people plan to come while most arent. This may seem discouraging at first until you take the following points into account:
- 43% Yes represents approximately 65 people, which according to the rules*, would be considered a banger
- We didnt want these people anyways
*A "banger" is any group comprising of more than 50 people**
**In the banger calc, girls count for 2 people while guys count as 1.
Note: A banger is just over 4 and 2/12 Scenes, which is a group of 12 people.
Source: College
"Right now, Jessica Simpson is not a fan favorite - in this locker room or in Texas Stadium," Owens said Wednesday.
"With everything that has happened, obviously with the way Tony played and the comparison between her and Carrie Underwood, I think a lot of people feel she has taken his focus away," Owens said, echoing the chatter on sports-talk radio and blogs. "Other than that, she was high on my list until last week.
"Oh, I got a message for her when we make the playoffs. Just stay tuned."
"With everything that has happened, obviously with the way Tony played and the comparison between her and Carrie Underwood, I think a lot of people feel she has taken his focus away," Owens said, echoing the chatter on sports-talk radio and blogs. "Other than that, she was high on my list until last week.
"Oh, I got a message for her when we make the playoffs. Just stay tuned."
Great news for working stiffs
Friday Nights Lights: Season 1 is available for ondemand viewing with your Netflix hours. Jackpot.
Maybe it's because she just passed groundbreaking energy legislation...
... but does Nancy Pelosi look particularly good in this shot. I mean, she's no Mary Carey, but it occurred to me after reading this article that the House speaker might have been a bit of a looker back in the old days.Thank goodness for Google image search.
Comparing Apples and Oranges (Apples = Obese Men)
Whoever took this picture deserves a Pulitzer Prize:
Go Big 12!
Turtle Power
Watching the Pistons/Rockets game last night reminded of an observation my friend Dan made awhile back, namely that Bonzi Wells may be a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle:
I'm-a Wario! I'm-a gonna win!
Reported to you a few days back that the "Local Lange Girl Model Contest" was all but wrapped up, boldly declaring Jessica Lange the inevitable, landslide champion. And in AMDAL's defense, the competitor's qualifications are pretty stacked:
- Bavarian
- Dad is in the army (army brat: intriguing)
- "love[s] snow and try to ski, but could use some private lessons"
- a mélange of extensively airbrushed Barbizon shots
But if you've been following the race like we have, you've noticed a number of fresh faces wending their way into contention. Here, for your browsing pleasure, crib notes on the rest of the field: (Links aren't necessarily suitable for work.)
- MessyJessie - (+) Name. Boulderite. Probably knows Maynard. Loves Beaver Creek. (-) Probably not a great gardener.
- Elizabeth - (+) Grew up in New Hampshire, now lives in Boulder. (-) Boston fan: Ding City.
- Armada_ski_girl00 - (+) C-side Tila Tequila. The first time I looked at her name I thought it said "Armadillo Girl". (-) Seriously botched collagen injection. Could be a platypus.
- Kat - (+) Rebelling against her Mormon upbringing. Good tan, very pouty. Getting a non-specific degree from Weber State. (-) Possibly the Blair Witch.
There are others, but those seem to be the front runners.
So when you go to vote on this snowy Thursday morning, take with you the words of social darwinism's own H.L. Mencken: "Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard.” Well, common people, you know what you want, and we all know you want it good and hard! Fortunately, we're pretty sure MessyJessie is happy to oblige.
If I had a million bloggers... continued
http://choppingwood.blogspot.com
http://peelingawaytheonion.blogspot.com
http://blockandtackling.blogspot.com
http://intheweeds.blogspot.com
http://peelingawaytheonion.blogspot.com
http://blockandtackling.blogspot.com
http://intheweeds.blogspot.com
Speedin - Rick Ross ft R. Kelly
Exec summary:
Rick Ross gets caught for speeding
Rock Ross jumps off bridge to avoid ticket
Rick Ross raps while trying to driving a cigarrette boat
R. Kelly sings, does not pee on any underage girls
More quasi-rapping quasi-rapping
...
Redeeming quality: Rick Ross buys off the cop with ice
This is the jam of the week. As in the BEST video of the week. As in do not watch TV this week
If I had a million bloggers...
http://allmypitchesaredead.blogspot.com
http://applestoapples.blogspot.com
http://makingcapitalismwork.blogspot.com
http://istodaytomorrow.or/isitstillyesterday.blogspot.com
http://outofpocket.blogspot.com
http://netnetattheendoftheday.blogspot.com
http://modelsandbottles.blogspot.com
http://blackcarsandplasticsilverware.blogspot.com
http://circleup.blogspot.com
http://isitchristmasyet.blogspot.com
http://applestoapples.blogspot.com
http://makingcapitalismwork.blogspot.com
http://istodaytomorrow.or/isitstillyesterday.blogspot.com
http://outofpocket.blogspot.com
http://netnetattheendoftheday.blogspot.com
http://modelsandbottles.blogspot.com
http://blackcarsandplasticsilverware.blogspot.com
http://circleup.blogspot.com
http://isitchristmasyet.blogspot.com
"Do you love me?" "No, but that's a really nice ski mask."
There's no way "jessica lange" doesn't run away with this one:
http://lange.freeskier.com/
Magician David Blaine is a closet banker
David Blaine is planning his latest stunt - to break the word record for staying awake the longest.
The previous world record is 11 1/2 days.
Explains Blaine of his latest endurance stunt:
“It’s been tried before. In 1959, Peter Tripp stayed awake eight days, but it resulted in permanent brain damage. In 1964, 17-year-old Randy Gardner did it for a high school science project. He lasted 11½ days but recovered fully. No damage. A guy in London tried but fell short. Another did 19 hours but slept two hours each night, so that doesn’t count. Also he was seated in a rocking chair. If I do this thing, which you claim I’m doing, I’ll do it on my feet. Standing up.
After 36 hours of sleep deprivation it’s like being drunk, 72 hours and paranoia sets in, Day Four the mind goes into hallucinations and you’re dreaming while awake. The problem is there’s no way to know how to offset brain damage or to train for this because there isn’t sufficient research. I believe the first guy’s mistake was not being in great physical condition. Also he used stimulants to keep awake, which I assume did him in.
All that I do will be open and documented. My income’s going to the Brooke Medical Center, which helps kids, and my research to science. For instance, we already know dietary restriction is a retardation of aging and disease. When you overeat your body must work and it gets tired. If I eat medicinally, my body will be entire.
I’m dropping 30 pounds. I do two hours every day on the treadmill. I’m on a raw diet that includes brown rice. No red meat. No animal products besides cooked fish.”
[Perez Hilton 12.07.07]
It's Friday and you know what that means...
Will Saracen hook up with / diss another girl?
Will Coach T give sound advice all while looking cool as shit?
Will Riggins be a step slow? Will he have to take Santiago down?
Will Jason Street make his first appearance since Mexico?
These questions and more will be answered soon in our next installment of FNL
Ted Ferguson
I just rediscovered Ted Ferguson: Budlight Daredevil...an instant classic
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CY2AZH3mCg&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CY2AZH3mCg&feature=related
Hood rich
Flashback (circa July 2007:
Ahh it was only a few short months ago - shorts were worn, sleep was had, sunlight touched my face. Good times...
Those days are gone but the memory remains. Check out Casey and my version of MTV Cribs: UWS style
Jam of the Week: The-Dream "Falsetto"
This week's Jam of the Week is "Falsetto," brought to you by new up-and-coming artist The-Dream. Fresh off his semi-hit "Shawty is a 10," which peaked at #17 on the Billboard Hot 100 and #6 on the R&B/Hip-Hop charts, The-Dream has decided that this is the moment to take the next step toward becoming Hoodfab by paying MTV an undisclosed sum of money to have "Falsetto" gain extra airplay as the Jam of the Week. The only reason that I'm pleased about "Falsetto" being the Jam of the Week is that due to it being finals week, I still won't have to hear it all that much. That, and the fact that this song is so bad as to provide conclusive evidence in support of my theory that the Jam of the Week is a title which can be bought, as no music network executive in their right mind would bestow upon this piece of trash the "JW" moniker in the upper-left hand corner of the screen.
It is obvious that The-Dream is trying to follow Ne-Yo's playbook in his rise to fame as a solo artist. Begin by writing hits for established artists (notably, Rihanna's "Umbrella" and J Holliday's "Bed") and use the success of these singles as a springboard to sign your own record deal. Unfortunately, while he also has a strangely hyphenated name, The-Dream lacks all of the intangibles that aided Ne-Yo's rise to fame: namely, good looks, dance moves, and a gaze that makes even me swoon. In addition, The-Dream's main feud as an artist is with Chris Brown - not exactly a great way build up your street cred. Sidenote, did you know that The-Dream wrote "Umbrella" in a mere 12 minutes? Coincidentally, that's exactly how long I pause the video for when Rihanna's in her silver bodypaint suit.
I probably ought to say a little something about the video and song themselves. Well, let me say this: they're fucking horrid. An overabundance of slow-motion scenes, a dearth of attractive females, strange props and scenes, and an unintelligible and boring plot makes this video practically unwatchable. It's unlistenable too, since The-Dream seems to think that talking in a falsetto himself is a way to sell records - actually, it's a way to get me to change the channel every hour for the next week (we have a remote in the Zebra now Ro - it's sick!)
In sum, Ro, while I will provide you with a link for this video out of courtesy in case you want another reason to kill yourself besides endless Excel monkey business and DCF analysis, I feel a duty to also provide you with something a little more interesting to help you pass the time as your workday reaches the halfway point. I hope you enjoy my alternate selection.
Snoop Dogg's Latest: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKz-RXSeIYA
Yours in the Bonds,
Does Guitar Hero Count?
Evidence (as if needed) that being a rock star equals hot chicks, regardless of how ugly you are
FNL's Lyla Garrity with arguably-talented John Mayer
Ex-supermodel Kate Moss with ex-husband, still-crack addicted/ugly Pete Doherty
Transformers Angelina-wannabe* Megan Fox
*In a good way
FNL's Lyla Garrity with arguably-talented John Mayer
Ex-supermodel Kate Moss with ex-husband, still-crack addicted/ugly Pete Doherty
Transformers Angelina-wannabe* Megan Fox
*In a good way
What will Riggins brood over this week?
Simulcast viewing will take place circa Sunday morning at 930 am. All roommates should be in attendance. All satellite viewing can be simulcast (dial in to be circulated offline)
Jam of the Week: Jay Z "Roc Boys (And the winner is)"
Every week I will be uploading the jam of the week. This week comes to us from your friend and mine, Jay Z. Also, each week, two p1edges volunteer to send me their thoughts on the video of the week. Here's what they thought on Roc Boys:
"The latest entry in the MTV Jam of the Week collection is Jay-Z's "Roc Boys (And the Winner Is)" from his 2007 album American Gangster. Based on the Denzel Washington movie with the same name, the album recalls Jay's difficult childhood growing up in the Bedford Stuyvesant area of Brooklyn. Throughout the album but especially on "Roc Boys," Jay rhymes about his early experiences with vending drugs and gang-related violence. Jay's status as a living-legend in the hip-hop world salvages the cliché message, and the result is a strong track/video combination that demonstrates the maturity that he has gained from years in the business.
Jay credits many of the influences that he had early in life that led to his eventual success. Sarcastically, he credits corrupt cops ("boys in blue who put greed before the badge"), competitors ("thanks to the lame ass niggas with bad aim") and, more seriously, his suppliers and customers for his start-up in the game. His matter-of-fact approach elevates his style above East Coast thugs like Jada and DMX who choose to rap about the merits of imaginary criminal adventures. Rather than using gangster-rap to gain fame, Jay knows he is at the top and rhymes instead about perseverance and strength in spite of disadvantages.
In "Roc Boys," Jay's effortless delivery and lyrical skill sets him apart from today's rappers. Whereas other hip-hop icons deliver forced rhymes (eg.50's "My Gun Go Off" when he says "Do the math or get blast/Bullets go through the glass/Go through your ass fast/And the leather seat sitting Ave"), Jay's rhymes are natural and innovative. Early in each track, Jay establishes a strong rhythm and continues the pattern throughout. This is a sharp contrast to past MTV Jams of the Week that resort to random staccato or multi-line sentences to get a rhyme (see Flo-Rida's "Low").
The video for the track juxtaposes the success that Jay realizes later in life with a young Jay that can only dream of such things. The rapping of adult Jay and young Jay (played by Samgoma Edwards) in the dark hallway creates the sharp distinction between what was and what is. Rather than drinking from plastic cups in abandoned houses, the adult Jay hosts extravagant parties while guests sip champagne from glass flutes. While guns, girls in bikinis and violence appear in the majority of his videos, Jay extols his high-class lifestyle. His finely-tailored suits, premium cigars and his characteristic fur overcoats cement his position at the top. He has moved past the hip-hop obsession with Hennessey and $200 a bottle Cristal (the latter of which Jay promotes in "Dead Presidents II" and "Brooklyn's Finest") and opts instead for $800 a bottle Ace of Spades Champagne.
Jay and director Chris Robinson ("One Mic" by Nas, "Bonnie & Clyde" by Jay and Beyonce and other projects with The Game, Diddy and T.I.) draw on their considerable influence to make the video a star-studded performance. Rick Ross (who also appeared in Flo-Rida's "Low" and again didn't say a word), Swizz Beats, Jada, Just Blaze, Mariah Carey and Young Gunz are just a few of the celebrities who make appearances. The most surprising appearances belong to Nas and Diddy, former rivals of Jay who fought for the position of most-influential rapper in NYC following the '96 death of Notorious B.I.G. Although Hot 97 declared Nas the winner, all appear to have buried the hatchet in the interest of collaborating for our benefit.
The video closes a la R. Kelly with a "To Be Continued" sign after an apparent assassination attempt on Jay's life. The simple interpretation is that a continuation video will indicate if Jay's persona survives. But the vague ending may also suggest that Jay does not know what is next. He acknowledges that he is susceptible to the new up-and coming stars: In order to be the best, you have to beat the best. The video details Jay's experiences from his childhood to now. He has conquered the music world (6 Grammys), the fashion world (Rocawear), music production (Roc-A-Fella Records) and the club scene (his NYC hangout The 40/40 Club). Where does he go from here? In the end, fans can only hope that Jay continues to eschew his retirement and continues to produce hits with his effortless delivery and clever rhyming.
itb"
"Jay-Z aka Jay Hova has released hs 10th album, a concept album called "American
Gangster" based on the movie by the same name (which is badass. Denzel is
almost on par with Sammy J for BAMFBM-Bad ass motherfucking black man). Roc Boys
(And the Winner is) is our Jam of the Week, the second single off the new album.
The video opens with a surprisingly well casted younger version of Jay-Z in
1988. A voice over from Jay-Z says that he and two friends decided to become a
crew called the "Roc Boys" back in that year, saying "we had no idea where this
would take us, but we would soon find out." The beat comes in with a sampled
track from The Menahan Street Band over a more solid beat, but over all the
music in the song is nothing special. This song is made by Jay-Z's smooth and
always classic lyrics and voice. The rest of the video shows Jay-Z in a club
celebrating with other hip hop celebrities such as Mariah Carey, Nas, Ditty,
Jadakiss, and others. These shots are contrasted with shots of the Joc Boys
going out together such as when Jay is toasting with a fresh bottle of Crystal
and the Joc Boys are toasting bad liquor in an less than Jay-Z classy club.
This continues until an ominous man looms in the corner with his hand in his
coat, which can only mean one thing. People try to run and stop him, but he
pulls out a gun and takes Jay-Z out. People start screaming and running while
Jay-Z lies on the floor and "to be continued" comes up on the scream.
Jay-Z has always been a leader in hip-hop style. He is one of the classiest men
in the business and he affirms this through out the video. The Joc Boys are
very Run DMC/LL Cool J with their Adidas sweat suits and gold chains while the
present day Jay-Z wears thousand dollar suits and fur coats that make him the
most important man in the video. He pops crystal like it's nothing and smokes
Cubans better than Tony Montana. The style in this video sets it apart from
other rap videos because of how Jay-Z emphasizes classiness over flashiness.
Jay-Z's style along with the other people in the club complete the video
visually and shows
Jay-Z is a master of creating videos that can stand independent of the song;
there are stories that follow the song, but go deeper and build more. Jay-Z
does this with Joc Boys, he brings these Joc Boys alive and makes us wonder how
he got from those 3 kids to where he is today, the life of the party at the
nicest club in town. Then in a sudden twist he brings it alive again with his
shooting, thickening the plot. I personally give this video an A-. The song
itself is one of my new favorite songs because of how Jay-Z's voice flows with
the horns in the back without using a big bumping beat like shitty Crank That
rap; Jay-Z actually has something to say. The video itself stands out because
of it's cinematographic excellence, directed by Chris Robinson, the video gives
us a feeling for how far Jay-Z feels as though he has come. But still, at the
end it seems like he has come far, but not so far as to escape the violence that
he comes from. The only reason this video isn't an A in my book is that the end
is too confusing. Why is there a woman booting into a toilet and then stumbling
down a hallway. This is just a minor point because Joc Boys is a great video
from Jay-Z that starts with a great song, which is only improved by a top notch
video.
itb
Lbro"
FNL viewing has been unexpectedly delayed this week due to technical difficulties and program viewing issues. More details to follow. In the meantime, please view previous episodes here
http://www.nbc.com/Friday_Night_Lights/video/episodes.shtml
AMDAL_FINAL.v2.pdf
Friends,
This is it - the beginning of a potentially beautiful thing. We (arguably) do some big, important things during the day. This is our chance to relax, express ourselves, share funny stories, whatever we want.
This is it - the beginning of a potentially beautiful thing. We (arguably) do some big, important things during the day. This is our chance to relax, express ourselves, share funny stories, whatever we want.
