(I'm the red one)Source: Hipster Runoff
Bill Clinton: Time Lapse Photography
The 42nd President, William Jefferson Clinton, is on the cover of a magazine this week (NYT Magazine, depicting Clinton as a lion in winter). The photographer and the editor chose an interesting portrait to grace the magazine cover (click it to enlarge). It alludes to a famous photograph of Clinton, done for Esquire in December 2000, as he was leaving office. Dark suit, white shirt, buttoned up with a nicely tied pastel tie; stark, empty background; subject is/appears seated. This portrait garnered criticism at the time, with some pundits claiming it was a sexually charged image and that the reader enjoys an (ahem) unusual perspective.
Comparing the two photographs, you see a man aging and a man whose glory days have passed. The multiple heart bypass operations, and the strain of playing an indispensable supporting role for his wife during the interminable 2008 campaign, have taken a toll. Cinton looks more dignified, but less vital. You expect that the more recent photograph, showing Clinton standing, one leg forward, to be the more vital. Instead, the Esquire photograph, which depicts Clinton seated, has a feeling of strength. Clinton's hands have been described as unusually large and he's famous for glad-handing and touching (zing). In the Esquire photograph, they dominate the photograph and suggesting power and ability, but on the NYT Mag cover he shields them behind his crossed arms (possibly because of the tremors described in the NY Times article).The Esquire photo remains, in my mind, the best image of a Clinton archtype: polished, successful, ambition radiating from the lighting, but still a little vulgar and human. Esquire revisited the image a couple years later, with Halle Berry (note that the camera angle has changed).
In all, it is an interesting decision by the NY Times Magazine to explicitly compare the present Clinton to a more potent image of him at the tail end of his presidency. Lion in winter, indeed.
13 is the new 18
As a recovering touch-me-not, germaphobe, xenophobe, and NJ-aphobe, I found this NYTs article about high school kids in, you guessed it, NJ, particularly interesting. Apparently mothers and teachers alike are seriously concerned about teenagers' proclivity for physical touch, specifically the hug.
From the article:
Comforting as the hug may be, principals across the country have clamped down. “Touching and physical contact is very dangerous territory,” said Noreen Hajinlian, the principal of George G. White School, a junior high school in Hillsdale, N.J., who banned hugging two years ago.
That sounds about right. Hugging is dangerous. Lest our daughters become too attached to their BFFs and our sons become.... well you know... So, of course, the logical, Vulcan response, if you will, of banning hugging all together is certainly the appropriate one.
Maybe society does mirror television and video games too much. Kids who grew up watching Full House and playing Nintendo as the Princess formerly known as Daisy, couldn't stand themselves anymore and went on to become more violent school-shooting pre-teens. On the other hand, today's kids were witness to 8 seasons of Emmy-Award winning Sopranos programming on HBO, and like Tony and his Italian-American pals, can't enter a room without hugging five other dudes.
It all reminds me, and Neil I'm sure, of The Kiss Hello. In this classic episode of Seinfeld, Kramer decides the building would be more friendly if there were pictures of every tenant in the entryway. This of course leads to an invasive, hyperoral society neither Jerry nor myself could possibly tolerate. Eventually tensions build, and in this famous scene they reach a climax...
Mac Miller - Cruisin'
Mac Miller won't be a lot of things. He won't be the next Eminem or even Asher Roth. He probably won't have another song on the JOTW list. He won't be winning any lyricist or poetry contests. He won't even be able to legally drink for another 4 years.
But he is a few things. He is from Pittsburgh (hi Grandma!), a relatively untapped city as far as Hip Hop goes. He's got time on his side. And he's got at least one good song.
I can't quite put my finger on it - maybe it's the slow beat with the melodic horn. Maybe it's the gritty Pittsburgh backgrounds and equally gritty lyrics and flow. Maybe it's because he's white (I said it). Whatever it is, EZ Mac / Mac Miller has at least perked my ears. I'm not holding my breath to see if he'll blow up, but if he does, AMDAL broke it first.
Late Shift II
The Late Shift, a mid-1990s HBO movie chronicling the Leno/Letterman "war" over the Tonight Show, is an underrated classic. We're currently in the midst of the Late Shift II, a cold war. Conan O'Brien is supplanting his friend and coworker, Jay Leno, as host of the Tonight Show.
Tonight (Friday) is Jay Leno’s final show as host of The Tonight Show, his 3,776 (not including guest-hosting stints when he filled in for his predecessor, Johnny Carson). On Monday, June 1, Conan O’Brien replaces Jay Leno at the helm of the Tonight Show. Starting in September, Leno will appear on NBC at 10 pm as host of the new “The Jay Leno Show” (five nights a week for an hour, in a format that will strongly resemble his “Tonight Show”). The move fulfills NBC’s contractual obligation to Conan, made in 2004, when NBC promised the “Tonight Show” to Conan in order to keep him from competing with Leno.The Tonight Show remains the gold standard for late night television. It regularly trounces its closest competitor (David Letterman’s “The Late Show” on CBS) and represents the national sentiment better than its more trendy peers, such as Jon Stewart’s “The Daily Show.” Indeed, when President Obama recently wanted to sit down with a late night host, he chose Leno. During the campaign trail, Obama went on other shows that skew younger, wealthier, or hipper; Leno is middle America.
The Tonight Show shuffle isn’t the only interesting development in late night talk shows. Jimmy Fallon has swooped into Conan’s old gig at 12:30, and has already garnered attention for his approach to hosting, which resembles a more mellowed version of his impish SNL characters crossed with Leno’s broad appeal. Over on ABC, Jimmy Kimmel’s show (“Jimmy Kimmel Live”) has grown into a worthy competitor for late night eyeballs. Finally, Craig Ferguson on CBS is terrific and unique and hilarious, trying to stay within the general conventions of the format (desk, couch, monologue, band) while stretching them beyond their normal boundaries (e.g. his efforts to produce completely original opening sequences every night). The emergence of Kimmel, Fallon, and Ferguson, coupled with the moves of Conan and Leno, and combined with the consistent Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert and the perennial Letterman, plus the much-discussed Saturday Night Live renaissance, means that the late night television is more interesting than it has been since Leno and Letterman were in their primes 16 years ago.
Late night television matters in America, and these moves will lead to serious ramifications in television, and in what you will get to watch in the next ten years. The New York Times Sunday Magazine published a strong piece on the subject, hitting the high notes of the issue and getting O’Brien and Leno to speak (on-the-record) more frankly about the issue than either host had before; the Times followed it up with another article mid-week, focusing on Fallon’s early success. Drawing from those articles, as well as from a few others (and, notably, from some Bill Simmons podcasts, since Simmons is a former talk show staff writer and good friend of Jimmy Kimmel), I’d like to show why this late shift will change tv in very obvious and tangible ways. Some of the significant impacts:
1-Leno moves to 10 pm on NBC and he gets all the good guests, instead of Conan. Both shows will film in LA. If you were Angelina Jolie, and had a new movie out this weekend, and you can go on one late night tv show on Thursday night before your new flick opens, you go on “Leno” instead of “Conan” because Leno is in primetime (more eyeballs) and his track record is more proven than Conan. This undermines Conan, possibly causing his “Tonight Show” to falter.
2-Scripted dramas will deteriorate. This is significant because for the last 20 years, at least, NBC has shown scripted dramas at that hour: ER, Law and Order, etc. 10 pm is the hour for nittier-grittier tv. Leno brings topical humor to that time slot, an hour ahead of John Stewart doing the same thing. 10 pm will become a haven for Leno, and Leno-esque shows. NBC already tried to get Oprah to do a similar show. Fox and American Idol (I know, 9 pm) could easily spin off Ryan Seacrest into a nightly, hour-long program. There are probably only a handful of other talents who could sustain five hours of prime-time every week (Oprah, Leno, Scos), but that’s all that the public needs to be sated.
Some might suggest that that conclusion was inevitable. In This Economic Climate, expensive dramas (such as ER or CSI) are already less desirable. A decade ago, when broadcast television began to realize the end was nigh (HBO was surging, ESPN began buying up cheaply produced sports programming, and the internet began occupying more and more eyeballs), reality tv emerged (Who Wants to Be a Survivor/Mole/Apprentice). The Networks produced “high quality” programming at low costs. Public interest in reality TV, while waning, has not entirely dissipated (god I hate Howie Mandel and everything he stands for). Leno’s inevitable success (and it is inevitable) will mean that dramas will be rarer and rarer, because every night on NBC, the old ER/Law&Order slots are filled by the big-chinned funnyman.
3-This new Late Shift (Late Shift II) will hurt The Daily Show and its popular influence. The Daily Show is hilarious, but will no longer be the first-out-of-the-gate talk show; in turn, this also hurts the Colbert Report. Leno will be the first guy making topical and fresh jokes every night. That’s the Daily Show’s brand and butter. I recognize that Stewart et al. rely on the high quality of their comedy, too.
4-Craig Ferguson and David Letterman will benefit. Second-tier guests on the Conan-helmed L.A.-based Tonight Show will only benefit the New York-based CBS shows.
In conclusion, I predict that Leno at 10 pm will be a success, and lead to imitations. Fewer dramas on the networks will result. Conan will suffer by comparison. Enjoy watching the Leno finale on Hulu tomorrow over your Saturday waffles…
Tonight (Friday) is Jay Leno’s final show as host of The Tonight Show, his 3,776 (not including guest-hosting stints when he filled in for his predecessor, Johnny Carson). On Monday, June 1, Conan O’Brien replaces Jay Leno at the helm of the Tonight Show. Starting in September, Leno will appear on NBC at 10 pm as host of the new “The Jay Leno Show” (five nights a week for an hour, in a format that will strongly resemble his “Tonight Show”). The move fulfills NBC’s contractual obligation to Conan, made in 2004, when NBC promised the “Tonight Show” to Conan in order to keep him from competing with Leno.The Tonight Show remains the gold standard for late night television. It regularly trounces its closest competitor (David Letterman’s “The Late Show” on CBS) and represents the national sentiment better than its more trendy peers, such as Jon Stewart’s “The Daily Show.” Indeed, when President Obama recently wanted to sit down with a late night host, he chose Leno. During the campaign trail, Obama went on other shows that skew younger, wealthier, or hipper; Leno is middle America.
The Tonight Show shuffle isn’t the only interesting development in late night talk shows. Jimmy Fallon has swooped into Conan’s old gig at 12:30, and has already garnered attention for his approach to hosting, which resembles a more mellowed version of his impish SNL characters crossed with Leno’s broad appeal. Over on ABC, Jimmy Kimmel’s show (“Jimmy Kimmel Live”) has grown into a worthy competitor for late night eyeballs. Finally, Craig Ferguson on CBS is terrific and unique and hilarious, trying to stay within the general conventions of the format (desk, couch, monologue, band) while stretching them beyond their normal boundaries (e.g. his efforts to produce completely original opening sequences every night). The emergence of Kimmel, Fallon, and Ferguson, coupled with the moves of Conan and Leno, and combined with the consistent Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert and the perennial Letterman, plus the much-discussed Saturday Night Live renaissance, means that the late night television is more interesting than it has been since Leno and Letterman were in their primes 16 years ago.Late night television matters in America, and these moves will lead to serious ramifications in television, and in what you will get to watch in the next ten years. The New York Times Sunday Magazine published a strong piece on the subject, hitting the high notes of the issue and getting O’Brien and Leno to speak (on-the-record) more frankly about the issue than either host had before; the Times followed it up with another article mid-week, focusing on Fallon’s early success. Drawing from those articles, as well as from a few others (and, notably, from some Bill Simmons podcasts, since Simmons is a former talk show staff writer and good friend of Jimmy Kimmel), I’d like to show why this late shift will change tv in very obvious and tangible ways. Some of the significant impacts:
1-Leno moves to 10 pm on NBC and he gets all the good guests, instead of Conan. Both shows will film in LA. If you were Angelina Jolie, and had a new movie out this weekend, and you can go on one late night tv show on Thursday night before your new flick opens, you go on “Leno” instead of “Conan” because Leno is in primetime (more eyeballs) and his track record is more proven than Conan. This undermines Conan, possibly causing his “Tonight Show” to falter.
2-Scripted dramas will deteriorate. This is significant because for the last 20 years, at least, NBC has shown scripted dramas at that hour: ER, Law and Order, etc. 10 pm is the hour for nittier-grittier tv. Leno brings topical humor to that time slot, an hour ahead of John Stewart doing the same thing. 10 pm will become a haven for Leno, and Leno-esque shows. NBC already tried to get Oprah to do a similar show. Fox and American Idol (I know, 9 pm) could easily spin off Ryan Seacrest into a nightly, hour-long program. There are probably only a handful of other talents who could sustain five hours of prime-time every week (Oprah, Leno, Scos), but that’s all that the public needs to be sated.
Some might suggest that that conclusion was inevitable. In This Economic Climate, expensive dramas (such as ER or CSI) are already less desirable. A decade ago, when broadcast television began to realize the end was nigh (HBO was surging, ESPN began buying up cheaply produced sports programming, and the internet began occupying more and more eyeballs), reality tv emerged (Who Wants to Be a Survivor/Mole/Apprentice). The Networks produced “high quality” programming at low costs. Public interest in reality TV, while waning, has not entirely dissipated (god I hate Howie Mandel and everything he stands for). Leno’s inevitable success (and it is inevitable) will mean that dramas will be rarer and rarer, because every night on NBC, the old ER/Law&Order slots are filled by the big-chinned funnyman.
3-This new Late Shift (Late Shift II) will hurt The Daily Show and its popular influence. The Daily Show is hilarious, but will no longer be the first-out-of-the-gate talk show; in turn, this also hurts the Colbert Report. Leno will be the first guy making topical and fresh jokes every night. That’s the Daily Show’s brand and butter. I recognize that Stewart et al. rely on the high quality of their comedy, too.
4-Craig Ferguson and David Letterman will benefit. Second-tier guests on the Conan-helmed L.A.-based Tonight Show will only benefit the New York-based CBS shows.
In conclusion, I predict that Leno at 10 pm will be a success, and lead to imitations. Fewer dramas on the networks will result. Conan will suffer by comparison. Enjoy watching the Leno finale on Hulu tomorrow over your Saturday waffles…
Big Bladders Need Not Apply
In the spirit of making that $12.50 movie totally worth the NYC mark-up, a website was developed for all of you with tiny bladders that need to frequent the little boys' room*.
You're not mis-reading the name of the site. It is a directive.
Run.
Pee.
Why this site is AMDAL worthy? It has interactive graphics & uses numbers (a common theme of interest it seems). Look up a movie on the left hand side, & they'll tell you what point(s) in the movie you should go "go". Afraid you missed something while you were out? Click the "unscramble" button on the paragraph below & there ya go!
If your girlfriend gives you a hard time about leaving during "date night," perhaps you can purchase one of these buttons**as a reminder that you are a real human being, with needs and feelings.
*This wasn't a sexist remark: girls get so engrossed in the movie they stay put in their seats. Showing up on time so ARod doesn't have to wait outside of Batman: The Dark Knight or we have to sit in the front row looking straight up during Slumdog Millionaire... now that is a different story.
** I can't believe they actual make those buttons, in bulk and different sizes no less. Goooo Capitalism!
Belmont Reminder
Get on the Belmont bus and you too could hang out with these hunks. RMC, you should probably get on the bus.
I hear Katie W. is coming out for it too.
*********
The Belmont is just over a week away. Oh yes.
The first bus is full, and when the second one fills up, no more tickets will be sold.
If you plan to come, remember to get your tickets. Buy a ticket at the link below:
http://www.acteva.com/booking.cfm?bevaid=182302
**Even if you clicked “Yes” on Anyvite, you need to buy a ticket from Acteva to reserve your seat**
If you are not riding the bus, you’re still welcome to join us at Tonic. Drink specials will be available from noon to 2:30.
See you soon.
The Smatter
*********
Update to AMDAL popularity
If you folks out there haven't seen worldmapper.org, definitely check it out.
This particular map applies to 2002 usage of the internets. Mind you this was in the pre-AMDAL era.*
*The US map is since unchanged. Sorry Mike.
Is AMDAL too pervasive?
AMDAL is exploding right now. MLR posted 4 times yesterday alone! And even in this small rural town in northern New England, I can't walk down the street without seeing young enthusiastic kids wearing "All My Deals Are Live" t-shirts. Or without them recognizing me from a random AMDAL photo shoot. This is tomorrow's generation and they've bought into AMDAL with gusto.
The site's audience is clearly growing and there are lots of potential book deals on the way ('sup JP). But should we slow down and think about what this means for our lives outside of the blogosphere? if it is that they exist.
Has AMDAL become too invasive and too ubiquitous? Take this morning for example. I was composing a friendly email while sipping tea and reading the day's news. The result? A very Amdal-centric styled piece of communication.
---
--ugh. more seattle weather... it's 47 and rainy this morning. just like yesterday. i thought we'd entered summer. now im bringing out flannel* shirts again? wtf?
--my gmail side ads are talking about VPNs --understood, i like tech-- and nipple rings? where'd that come from?
--and we're learnign about the limbic system in the brain today. thats the rewards center, drugs, sex and rock and roll.
why does this email sound like a blog post?
---
Is this really my new form of communication?
*this is actually a little exciting :)
Disclaimer: Albert helped me on the stats.
Best SCOTUS cartoon so far
This cartoon was done by Steve Keeley, a Dartmouth alum, and a syndicated cartoonist. Any cartoon that does a callback to Palin will warm my heart...
Self-dep is the new black
Lately it seems that the new "in" form of humor is self-deprecation. While it would make sense that arrogance and opulence aren't welcomed in the economic crisis today, I think that people have begun belittling themselves to extremes, and telling the world about it. Misery loves company right?
Two cases in point: textsfromlastnight and fmylife. The first invites viewers to somewhat anonymously (you see an area code) post text messages they have sent or received usually based on ridiculous stories from the previous night. A majority of the texts are from bad nights:
(308): I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
...while a few shine in their awesomeness:
(703): Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
The second website is all about self-dep. Viewers post and read anonymous stories about how bad others' lives are. If you're ever feeling like you're having a bad day, please check this website out first. There's even an iPhone app! A couple gems are below:
Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't hang out with me because he felt really sick. I went to his house anyway to surprise him with homemade soup. I walk in to his room only to find him hooking up with my sister.She can't drive, our mom drove her there. FML
Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML
To AMDAL's credit, I think our viewers have been keenly aware of this development even before the "great recession" began. From our appreciation of the Foggy Monocle to the use (and abuse) of the self-call at Dartmouth, we've been laughing it up while putting each other down for a long time now. Nice job.
Yeah, I call bullshit
“Hugging appears to be a grass-roots phenomenon and not an imitation of a character or custom on TV or in movies"--The New York TimesFake trends are popular fodder at the New York Times: trumped up reports about how 5th graders are sexually active all across the nation, how steampunk is the most popular lifestyle for the under 25-crowd, or how everyone is going to vote for a black president in 2008. In particular, the Paper-of-Record likes to go after what the youth of America is "feelin'." Lots of bizarre stories about antics at prom, stuff like that.
There is a fantastic new addition to the fake trend report: hugging. Apparently, hugging merits some newsprint and page space. It's the new "in" greeting. Guys, girls, heterogeneous-hugging, homogenous-hugging, multi-party hugging (illustrated below). Some high schools are now banning hugs, just as some high schools have banned proms. The Times reports that hugging is sweeping the nation. I've always felt that kids should wait until co!!ege (!) before they start hugging...but I'm from a different generation.
As a long-time hugger (photo-documentation proves it, see above), I'm not surprised that the Times realized people are hugging. I'm just mad that they didn't realize that Ari Gold started it all.Kanye West - Paranoid (feat. Mr. Hudson)
Rihanna writhing to Kanye West. Nuff said.
UPDATE: The above video is broke (F You Rihanna) so instead of scouring the nets to find more videos that'll ultimately be broken too, I've attached another Kanye video that no one will mess with because it's so bad no one cares.
Top 5 horrible things in this video:
1) This video is made by Hype Williams. Yes, the same Hype Williams who made basically all the music videos in the 90s. And they were awesome.
2) What's with the stupid glasses?
3) I'm pretty sure that's the Star Wars Millennium Falcon
4) I know we talked about recession jams but f*ck, this is the Dream and Kanye West.
5) I only actually watched the first 1 min of the video and ctrl+tabbed over to start this blog post while I listen. It's better this way.
Vegetarian Recap
For the 5 of you following Erik and my adventures in vegetarianism, as of Saturday at midnight, we ended our month long meat-cation. I can't speak for EJ but I enjoyed the process. Excluding Green Key weekend, I felt healthier than I have in a while. I rarely had a problem finding a non-meat alternative. Best of all, I was able to spread the word of Efficiency to people asking me why I was a vegetarian. Until now, I never appreciated the amount of energy that goes into meat. Now when I eat the occasional burger, I'll appreciate it that much more.
Mmm... inefficiency AND murder.
Disclaimer: All My Meals Aren't Live (AMMAL) will only be updated sporadically (ie when I want to show my mom I'm not eating Ramen noodles all the time).
J Date part 2
Love at first finance buzzword:
"Mr. Fredston-Hermann remembers saying, not quite believing that this attractive young woman with a short skirt and looking, as he said, very fashion forward, was talking his lingo."
Courtesy of NY Times Weddings/Celebrations and Edy for the great find
Mint.com, Your Own Personal iBanker
I found this article in the NY Times Magazine about new personal finance website Mint.com. And because I like the NY Times, Pies and Finance, I thought I should pass it along.
A few months ago, in an effort to bring order to one of the few things I still have left to control, I built a cash flow model for my finances. Over time I found it increasingly painful both because of the monthly manual data entry (I'm not a banking analyst anymore) and the slow but steady burn of cash (again, not an analyst). Enter Mint.com.
Mint aggregates all your bank and credit card info (your passwords are allegedly safe from hackers, Skynet, et. al) and then constantly updates and shows you how you're doing relative to your set budget and even the national average*. Just imagine you had your very own, free, personal banking analyst to build, update and analyze your finances. It's like having a backpocket Albert or Hank, but without the complaints over working weekends or not getting a big enough bonus to pay for the broker's fee on that Murray Hill 3 bedroom.
*Fun fact: I spend 10x the national averages on restaurants - an amazing feat given my current zip code
J date
Should AMDAL become an online dating service? Perhaps it has reached its maximum potential as a blog of live updates of pong games and not-so-funny inside jokes. Can we really stand anymore rap videos or shots of Natalie Portman? What if AMDAL shut down and reconfigured itself as the new online dating site? Dartmouth singles abound and where would be better to convene than the friendly confines of M. Ro's downtime creation? Certainly not the f-ing Canoe Club with all of the Tuckies and their fancy shoes and 30-something yr old egos...
This could legitimately work. Take tonight, for example. Last night in response to another not so fascinating liveblog of mike's night out drinking, I posted a shot of me doing something equally engrossing: studying. This seemingly innocuous post (while probably hilarious!) actually turned out to be the start of a potentially wonderful and successful relationship. I say potentially because it turned out to be a 1 minute 28 second prank phone call that asked me out on a date, but details aren't so important. AND, best part? She sounded like she was a hottie.
Woman of the Week
Besides being the most fun Sri Lankan you'll ever meet, Triple A has just gotten into a very prestigious medical school in the Bay Area. She's surprised (see above). We aren't.
Congrats Ayesha!
Random Thoughts
Actual subway ad for milliontreesnyc.org: "Trees do more than you think. They promote relaxation, enhance our emotional and mental health, and even encourage us to drive a little slower." Notwithstanding the grammatical errors that would result, I'm pretty sure that first sentence should begin with the word "Smoking."
The overpriced mexican restaurant down my street features the following banner: Unlimited Open Bar. All Day, Everyday. $25 per Person for Two Hours... with Purchase of an Entree. They could have saved some ink by writing: We Don't Offer Drink Specials.
I was in an airport in Tennessee a month ago and I overheard a group of young, attractive girls chatting. One said, "I'm 17." Another said, "Me too! I'm also 17." A third, "I'm 18. This totally sucks." Sucks? I thought. That's like the hottest age you can be. Then she added, "C. At least it's an aisle seat."
Whenever I hear the slogan What can Brown do for you?, I don't think UPS. I think, doody.
You know you've finally lost some real weight when you have this same exact conversation, several times with different people: "Wow, you look good." "Thanks. I appreciate it." "No, I mean it. You look good."
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Techy post... blah blah blah
In case you haven't seen the new UpNext app, check it out. This thing quickly renders NYC in 3D, includes subway maps and stops, and tells you all the commercial tenants in each building in Manhattan. It's like a faster Google Earth for your smartphone (read iPhone). Too bad I have a dumbphone... and don't live in New York... and don't have the $2.99 for it.
Snappy Answers To Stupid Questions
The other afternoon I found myself in Penn Station, rushing to catch a train back to Long Island. My sleepy mind was craving some stimulation – caffeine and a newspaper – for the boring slog home. I peered into my wallet and discovered I only had a dollar, which would not be enough fwoh for the two pickups I planned to purchase. So I quickly visited an ATM (I wish you could see how blistering fast I enter my pin) and withdrew $100 from my rapidly shrinking checking account.
With two minutes to spare, I hit up a black and white newspaper stand and grabbed myself a diet coke and a venerable New York Post. The woman behind the cashier rung me up and said, “That will be $3.25.” I whipped out a fat Andrew Jackson and assumed the transaction was halfway complete. Instead, she said, “That bill is too big. Do you have anything smaller?” “Well,” I said, “I also have a $1 bill, but it really doesn’t help us, Michael. Please, I’m in a hurry.” And this is where she blew me away. She retorted, “Can you open your wallet and show me what’s inside?”
Stunned, I dropped the Post on the ground, gave her a look of disgust, and booked it to Track 18. Fortunately, I made the train. Unfortunately, I missed a gem of an opportunity to play everyone’s favorite Snappy Answers To Stupid Questions!
Can you open your wallet and show me what’s inside?
- No, but I could unzip my fly and show you what’s inside. But then you’d owe me $3.25.
- Yeah, that bulge in my khakis - not a wallet.
- Can you open your register and show me what’s inside? I bet there’s change in there.
- Sure, but you're not getting my lucky condom.
- ………….………….………….………….………….………….………….…….…….………….………….………….………….………….………….………….………….………….
AMDAL Status Report
I give you our hit counters since AMDAL's inception (November 2007*). Pretty amazing bump up in readership this calendar year. I'd like to think it was the witty social commentary but I have a feeling it has to do with the shirts.
If someone knows how to make money off this thing, please help - AMDAL has amassed a whopping $8 from ad revenues this year.
*Where the F is our book deal? Those stupid DABA girls literally had 5 posts before getting a book deal and massive amounts of press. We haven't even made it into the D.
Generic Good Morning Video
If you watch a single Youtube video this morning, watch this...try and not have it be the coolest thing you do at a computer today...
Hat Tip: Warming Glow
Hat Tip: Warming Glow
Too cool to not pass along
In the spirit of Mikey's earlier post on self-tweeting, this is the best self-call I've seen today: http://thingsididlastnight.com/
Chuck Norris Top 10
10. Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is.
9. Chuck Norris went to the Virgin Islands once. Now they're just called the Islands.
8. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
7. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
6. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
5. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
4. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
3. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
2. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
1. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Sober in the Animal House
A nice NYTimes Blog article written by a Dartmouth '11 on his perspective as a 'dry pledge' at AD.
Interesting also to read through the comments section, as there are a lot of Dartmouth people that weigh in. I'm pretty conflicted because I can attribute almost an equal number of good and bad things that have happened to me as a result of alcohol. So instead, I'll relay a story I'd heard about an '04 sailor bro (or brah, as they apparently say in the CT sailing circuit). I think it speaks to Dartmouth undergrads' adept ability to rationalize situations:
This '04 brah couldn't control himself when he had been drinking too many beers: he'd hose himself in his sleep. After a lot of beers, some wet towels, a few rubber bands and some very upset girlfriends, he admitted to himself he had a problem with his drinking and that it was time for him to talk to someone.
The next day, the sailor with constant wet shorts ventured to Dick's House infirmary to meet with a doctor. "Doc," he said, "I've got a problem with my drinking." The doctor listened patiently as the sailor explained how after hours of drinking tens of beers, he'd piss his pants in whatever position he found himself passed out.
"So Doc, can you help me?"
"Well this sounds like a serious problem, we can enroll you in an alcoholism program right away" the doctor said.
"No Doc, rehab won't work. Isn't there a pill or something I can take to stop me from peeing myself?"
The '04 graduated with honors to become a successful financier and is currently living in a townhouse he owns with his wife and dogs.
Interesting also to read through the comments section, as there are a lot of Dartmouth people that weigh in. I'm pretty conflicted because I can attribute almost an equal number of good and bad things that have happened to me as a result of alcohol. So instead, I'll relay a story I'd heard about an '04 sailor bro (or brah, as they apparently say in the CT sailing circuit). I think it speaks to Dartmouth undergrads' adept ability to rationalize situations:
This '04 brah couldn't control himself when he had been drinking too many beers: he'd hose himself in his sleep. After a lot of beers, some wet towels, a few rubber bands and some very upset girlfriends, he admitted to himself he had a problem with his drinking and that it was time for him to talk to someone.
The next day, the sailor with constant wet shorts ventured to Dick's House infirmary to meet with a doctor. "Doc," he said, "I've got a problem with my drinking." The doctor listened patiently as the sailor explained how after hours of drinking tens of beers, he'd piss his pants in whatever position he found himself passed out.
"So Doc, can you help me?"
"Well this sounds like a serious problem, we can enroll you in an alcoholism program right away" the doctor said.
"No Doc, rehab won't work. Isn't there a pill or something I can take to stop me from peeing myself?"
The '04 graduated with honors to become a successful financier and is currently living in a townhouse he owns with his wife and dogs.
Bay to Breakers Superstars pt 2
I know these girls...
Katie made it to the pages of another SF publication last year for being fratty. And we blogged about it because blogging about our friends is what makes AMDAL (and America) great.
Green Key vs. Bay to Breakers? Discuss. All I'll say is in a battle of Awesome, Karl vs. Katie, it's a tossup.
LINKS of the Lost
Nothing beats 2 day hangovers and 3 day shame spirals like the second iteration of LINKS.
D Article on weekend fallout: “After I hit my head, I didn’t really know where I was.” My question is why did AMDAL author Mrs. K have one latex glove so readily available when the blood started to flow? It's a little troubling.
Short film about life that reminded me a little of how I remember Saturday (kind of artsy, but ~30 seconds)
Is Will Ferrell funny again? See for yourself in last week's SNL appearance (above), in anticipation of his new movie here
Anna Wintour interview: "I was expecting those books this week" reminds me of a few people I worked with in banking
Natalie Portman has been in the news lately, and not for anything I'm proud of (Sean Penn rumors, Granny Panties).
(Censored) naked chicks, voyeurism and JOTW. Hopefully you have your own office.
P1 update
8:03 AM
Adam: haha, nice, amdal was next on my list on websites to visit
Adam: i read in the D someone fucked up a kegstand.... who was that?
im in DC actually
(see tracker in sidebar)
Adam: haha, nice, amdal was next on my list on websites to visit
Adam: i read in the D someone fucked up a kegstand.... who was that?
im in DC actually
(see tracker in sidebar)
Liveblog pubcrawl
Dan D. 30 seconds before realizing they wouldn't serve us 10 car bombs at Canoe Club on Saturday at 8pm. We were asked to leave.
Google + Iphone News: WTF else do I talk about
Anyways, Google has made it possible to upload all your Outlook, Mac Address Book and Yahoo contacts into your Gmail contacts. What's cool about this is that with the little known but highly useful Google Sync, I can now get my contacts and my calendar to push directly to the Iphone's contacts and calendar applications. This is what we wampkt because it means anytime you update your contacts/calendar, either on your Iphone or Gmail, it instantaneously updates in the other spot. All via the Cloud.
***What's even awesomer about this is that when you go through the settings on the Iphone, you'll see the above image, with an 'Email' toggle button. You can quote me that this little button will be the single reason RIMM (Blackberry) goes out of business and Apple's share price goes above 200****. Right now it's not configured by Google to work yet, but when it does, it means that if you have Gmail on your phone (ie everyone but undergrads and idiots), like your calendar and contacts, your email will also be automatically updated. No more waiting 15 minutes or manually refreshing. Again, what we wampkt.
Which may leave you wondering why I have a picture of a car with a camera on top. Any guesses? It's how Google does the Street Views on Google Maps. Apparently it's someone's job to drive around and take pictures of the street. And it seems they also tend to fuck it up.
*Lowercase "b" because I'm not there anymore, thereby demoting its importance
**Uppercase "C" because I've now adopted it into the AMDAL vernacular, thereby promoting its importance and deeming it Awesome.
***I took this screenshot of my iphone by clicking both the home button and the on/off button at the same time. The screen flashed and it saved the pic in my photo album. I dare you to find a practical application for this Iphone trick tip.
****Is that libel? I don't even know what that is. Don't quote me.
Mtn. Prep Update
I was just googling along today when I happened upon a little gem on facebook. It seems that our dear friend Kemper recently returned to the North Country for: a) the sake of maintaining his wonderful romance, b) outdoor adventure, or c) to show off his new rust-colored vest. How NE!
Dare I say that upon zooming way in it's even a Patagonia! (On a side note a DMS secretary actually called me out for wearing Patagonia this winter and said my coat was Pata-Gucci.)
Unbeknownst to me, and quite possibly at the very same moment that Kemper was donning his rust-colored vest in NH, I was also playing my part to promote the Mtn. Prep line of clothing and accessories across the river in decidedly more receptive, Vermont. In fact, I was at the Long Trail brewery, and just about the only thing that could make this photo any better, besides me not wearing the same shirt as in my last Mtn. Prep photo, would be my pint of Double Bag. Yep, that’s the hearty one. What else would you expect?
Good work, KD, but you’re still just shy of a bullseye. If only you’d splurged for summer camp in Maine as a youth!
Green Key w00t - JOTW edition
Green Key is this weekend and for some it's w00t-worthy moment because they are either a) an undergrad b) a recent grad with friends/gf/bf still in school or c) a grad/towny who can't seem to escape Hanover despite his best efforts.
For all of you (and me), I present Mickey Factz, up-and-coming rapper who's drawn attention from Industry Heads like KRS One, Jay Z and Honda. Oh, and he's Psi U's Saturday night headlining act.
Check out more of his music here. Also performing Saturday will be MeLo-X, DJ Viking and OnCue, a bunch of DJ's I don't know much about, but new New Psi U says they're good. I've attached a song below that's pretty decent and will probably sound better when the music is loud and I'm drunk. Hi Mom.
And for no real good reason except that it's Green Key, I give you Jenn Sterger, Florida State alum and Facebook celebrity circa 2006 (ie when Facebook wasn't as painful). Jenn was in Hanover to promote healthy living and plastic boobs. Money was raised for a good cause and guys got to marvel at the miracles of science.
Science!
For all of you (and me), I present Mickey Factz, up-and-coming rapper who's drawn attention from Industry Heads like KRS One, Jay Z and Honda. Oh, and he's Psi U's Saturday night headlining act.
Check out more of his music here. Also performing Saturday will be MeLo-X, DJ Viking and OnCue, a bunch of DJ's I don't know much about, but new New Psi U says they're good. I've attached a song below that's pretty decent and will probably sound better when the music is loud and I'm drunk. Hi Mom.
And for no real good reason except that it's Green Key, I give you Jenn Sterger, Florida State alum and Facebook celebrity circa 2006 (ie when Facebook wasn't as painful). Jenn was in Hanover to promote healthy living and plastic boobs. Money was raised for a good cause and guys got to marvel at the miracles of science.
Science!
