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World #4 ranked tennis player Andy Murray has recently found that life is less like this and more like this

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GraphJam

Pre-Maradona

In case you missed it last weekend, (understandable because it wasn't televised on any national network or even on ESPN360 due to DIII college football and golf) the US has qualified for the World Cup in South Africa next year with a win over Honduras 3-2. In what was billed as a politically charged showdown, Honduras was playing to unite a country dealing with its presidential woes. The game was sloppy as usual for the US and we did everything to give them a chance to win including giving up a penalty in the closing minutes that gave Honduras a chance to tie. Following a Baggio-esque shank, the US cruised into the World Cup.

If you've made it this far, I will throw you a bone. A full game of soccer can be pretty boring, but highlights are pretty much the cats pajamas. Enter footytube.com. Its an engine that updates constantly and gives all the best European and international soccer highlights that are on the web. Especially here in the US where unless you pay for GolTV, ESPN360, or Fox Soccer Net, you are kinda hosed on a soccer standpoint.

Feel free to leave now if you don't like soccer, if you want to hear about what a douche Maradona is, read on...

Maradona was hired as the coach of Argentina this year. He was the original football jesus in Argentina and even has a church with 100,000 followers devoted to him. The ten commandments of this church are the following (source: wikipedia):

Maradonian Church Ten Commandments
1. The ball must not be stained, as D10S (Maradona) has proclaimed
2. Love football over all things
3. Declare your unconditional love of football
4. Defend the colours of Argentina
5. Preach the words of D10S all over the world
6. Pray in the temples where he preached and on his sacred mantles
7. Dont proclaim the name of Diego in name of an only club.
8. Follow the teachings of the Maradonian Church
9. Let Diego be thy name, and thy one of your children
10. "No ser cabeza de termo y que no se te escape la tortuga." (Meaning, don´t be a hot head and keep it in your pants)

He is probably best known for his "Hand of God" goal in the '86 World Cup quarterfinals against England. Argentina won the game 2-1 and went on to win the whole tournament.


The rest of his career can be summarized as follows:

Lots of Cocaine->Caught for Doping->Got Really Fat->stomach stapling->embrace communism

Basically he can do no wrong right? He was given the helm of arguably the most talented team in the world with the best player in the world, Lionel Messi, and has the backing of the entire country who worships him.

Given all that, he has done an admirable job of bringing them to the brink of elimination in World Cup qualifying with losses to nearly everyone in their region. They have to win their last two games to get one of the last qualifying spots. They visited Peru on Saturday in a must win and squeaked out a 2-1 win in injury time.



After calling on God for the win, you can see his jubilation while celebrating with a chest slide onto the field as if he did it all himself.

We've seen Maradona before. Gretzky with the Coyotes, Jordan with the Wizards/Bobcats,and Isiah with the Knicks to name a few. All the things that made them such good/cutthroat individual players make them bad at managing teams. Hopefully Maradona can let the Argentinian players salvage what shot they have left at qualifying and succeeding in the World Cup next year.

Totally Looks Like a US Open Updape

Don't know if everyone has seen totallylookslike.com but I just wasted about 30 minutes on it and its like second-hand crack (this will make sense in a sec) and finally there's a place that puts all these in one place. I realize the del Potro one above kinda sucks but I needed a segway.

Anyway, the US Open is over but not after a terrific final last night. Gotta say that this has been a pretty great tournament all around with some highlights:

• Del Potro beating both Nadal and then Federer in 5 sets to win the US Open at only 20 years old (pretty sure I was picking pong balls out of basement mung and drying it on my shirt at that age)


• Clijster's beating both Serena and Venus to win the women's side after taking 2 years off from tennis and having a kid (granted, Federer had TWINS over the summer and can still play so I don't know what the big fuss is about, total double standard if you ask me)


• Serena and Federer complaining when they don't get their way


• Oudin being the feel-good US story even though she has to deal with this crap


• Gasquet's return to Grand Slam competition after his second-hand cocaine suspension


• Safin retiring after his final grand slam appearance to return to Russia and trounce hotties


• Bryan brothers remaining creepy but losing in the doubles semifinals (the Johnson's would have won)

Look forward to Del Potro, Murray, and Djokovic taking the reigns from Federer in the future as men's tennis finally becomes interesting again

This is directed at A-OG

So I didn't give him the nickname, but he's been called ARod for years. I always surmised it was due to the fact that he's good at games, like three-time baseball AL MVP Alex "ARod" Rodriguez. But at some point in the last three years, after Madonna, steroids, slapping Red Sox players, insanely stupid photo shoots, crazy-ass delusional contract negotiations, and all the rest, does he want a new nickname? Because THIS STORY pretty much destroys any last remaning lingering shred of coolness associated with baseball-playing AROD, once and for all (and explains the photo below.
Yeah, that's Bob. Bob has B!tch T!ts.
Also, if five years ago, someone said tennis star Andy "ARod" Roddick would never win another major and be tremendously surpassed by many other tennis players, while Alex Rodriguez would win 2 more MVP awards, get a new contract with $.275 Billion, have a very good shot at becoming baseball's alltime home run king, and date a pop star...a lot of dudes would've said the baseball player was having a better life. And DAMN, were they wrong.
*Scos has, of course, already noted how sweet Roddick's life is...

Fck Madonna

I never liked Madonna. Albert thinks I'm not nice to girls I dont find attractive. Not true. I just dont like girls with gap teeth. I kid - no, Madonna is just a control-freak bitch who is jealous that her husband, Guy Ritchie, consistently puts out cooler shit than she does. Some say their pending divorce was due to a fall from a horse. Others say the sex scheduled around gym workouts did them in. I say it's because Guy Ritchie is too cool of a dude. Case in point: Director's clip of Nike ad by Ritchie above (commercial one here). Cheer up Madge, at least you can bench more than him.