Ho ho ho
Lyla Garrity is a ho. But how could she not fall for Riggins, even if just for a few episodes?
And what about Street? Damn he's got heart.
Oh, and Tyra's hot.
And what about Street? Damn he's got heart.
Oh, and Tyra's hot.
Finally, some respect
The NY Times gives props to a few of my favorite shows, and a few others that I should probabaly start watching.
Also, I would argue that Tina Fey is the only funny female actor on the planet. I would love to be proven wrong, but I probably won't. Say Cameron Diaz and see what happens.
Also, I would argue that Tina Fey is the only funny female actor on the planet. I would love to be proven wrong, but I probably won't. Say Cameron Diaz and see what happens.
The Results Are In
Figure 1: Party poll results
Figure 2: Adjusted binary party poll resultsAt work, I tend to play a game I like to call "Is what I'm doing a transferable skill?" For example: computer skills like navigating the internet (hi perez!) with great efficiency are a transferable skill. Formatting a text box to fit 3 sub-bullets equally spaced vertically, with a note row (font size 7) and source row (font size 7, italicized), is not.
What I would argue is a transferable skill, is the ability to make 3-D pie charts. Nothing can convey the message of, say, the attendance plans of a potential New Years party like a 3-D pie chart. Figure 1 shows the raw data of the poll. Figure 2 converts these answers, based on some probability assumptions, that people will or wont attend. The results are undeniable: some people plan to come while most arent. This may seem discouraging at first until you take the following points into account:
- 43% Yes represents approximately 65 people, which according to the rules*, would be considered a banger
- We didnt want these people anyways
*A "banger" is any group comprising of more than 50 people**
**In the banger calc, girls count for 2 people while guys count as 1.
Note: A banger is just over 4 and 2/12 Scenes, which is a group of 12 people.
Source: College
"Right now, Jessica Simpson is not a fan favorite - in this locker room or in Texas Stadium," Owens said Wednesday.
"With everything that has happened, obviously with the way Tony played and the comparison between her and Carrie Underwood, I think a lot of people feel she has taken his focus away," Owens said, echoing the chatter on sports-talk radio and blogs. "Other than that, she was high on my list until last week.
"Oh, I got a message for her when we make the playoffs. Just stay tuned."
"With everything that has happened, obviously with the way Tony played and the comparison between her and Carrie Underwood, I think a lot of people feel she has taken his focus away," Owens said, echoing the chatter on sports-talk radio and blogs. "Other than that, she was high on my list until last week.
"Oh, I got a message for her when we make the playoffs. Just stay tuned."
Great news for working stiffs
Friday Nights Lights: Season 1 is available for ondemand viewing with your Netflix hours. Jackpot.
Maybe it's because she just passed groundbreaking energy legislation...
... but does Nancy Pelosi look particularly good in this shot. I mean, she's no Mary Carey, but it occurred to me after reading this article that the House speaker might have been a bit of a looker back in the old days.Thank goodness for Google image search.
Comparing Apples and Oranges (Apples = Obese Men)
Whoever took this picture deserves a Pulitzer Prize:
Go Big 12!
Turtle Power
Watching the Pistons/Rockets game last night reminded of an observation my friend Dan made awhile back, namely that Bonzi Wells may be a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle:
I'm-a Wario! I'm-a gonna win!
Reported to you a few days back that the "Local Lange Girl Model Contest" was all but wrapped up, boldly declaring Jessica Lange the inevitable, landslide champion. And in AMDAL's defense, the competitor's qualifications are pretty stacked:
- Bavarian
- Dad is in the army (army brat: intriguing)
- "love[s] snow and try to ski, but could use some private lessons"
- a mélange of extensively airbrushed Barbizon shots
But if you've been following the race like we have, you've noticed a number of fresh faces wending their way into contention. Here, for your browsing pleasure, crib notes on the rest of the field: (Links aren't necessarily suitable for work.)
- MessyJessie - (+) Name. Boulderite. Probably knows Maynard. Loves Beaver Creek. (-) Probably not a great gardener.
- Elizabeth - (+) Grew up in New Hampshire, now lives in Boulder. (-) Boston fan: Ding City.
- Armada_ski_girl00 - (+) C-side Tila Tequila. The first time I looked at her name I thought it said "Armadillo Girl". (-) Seriously botched collagen injection. Could be a platypus.
- Kat - (+) Rebelling against her Mormon upbringing. Good tan, very pouty. Getting a non-specific degree from Weber State. (-) Possibly the Blair Witch.
There are others, but those seem to be the front runners.
So when you go to vote on this snowy Thursday morning, take with you the words of social darwinism's own H.L. Mencken: "Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard.” Well, common people, you know what you want, and we all know you want it good and hard! Fortunately, we're pretty sure MessyJessie is happy to oblige.
If I had a million bloggers... continued
http://choppingwood.blogspot.com
http://peelingawaytheonion.blogspot.com
http://blockandtackling.blogspot.com
http://intheweeds.blogspot.com
http://peelingawaytheonion.blogspot.com
http://blockandtackling.blogspot.com
http://intheweeds.blogspot.com
Speedin - Rick Ross ft R. Kelly
Exec summary:
Rick Ross gets caught for speeding
Rock Ross jumps off bridge to avoid ticket
Rick Ross raps while trying to driving a cigarrette boat
R. Kelly sings, does not pee on any underage girls
More quasi-rapping quasi-rapping
...
Redeeming quality: Rick Ross buys off the cop with ice
This is the jam of the week. As in the BEST video of the week. As in do not watch TV this week
If I had a million bloggers...
http://allmypitchesaredead.blogspot.com
http://applestoapples.blogspot.com
http://makingcapitalismwork.blogspot.com
http://istodaytomorrow.or/isitstillyesterday.blogspot.com
http://outofpocket.blogspot.com
http://netnetattheendoftheday.blogspot.com
http://modelsandbottles.blogspot.com
http://blackcarsandplasticsilverware.blogspot.com
http://circleup.blogspot.com
http://isitchristmasyet.blogspot.com
http://applestoapples.blogspot.com
http://makingcapitalismwork.blogspot.com
http://istodaytomorrow.or/isitstillyesterday.blogspot.com
http://outofpocket.blogspot.com
http://netnetattheendoftheday.blogspot.com
http://modelsandbottles.blogspot.com
http://blackcarsandplasticsilverware.blogspot.com
http://circleup.blogspot.com
http://isitchristmasyet.blogspot.com
"Do you love me?" "No, but that's a really nice ski mask."
There's no way "jessica lange" doesn't run away with this one:
http://lange.freeskier.com/
Magician David Blaine is a closet banker
David Blaine is planning his latest stunt - to break the word record for staying awake the longest.
The previous world record is 11 1/2 days.
Explains Blaine of his latest endurance stunt:
“It’s been tried before. In 1959, Peter Tripp stayed awake eight days, but it resulted in permanent brain damage. In 1964, 17-year-old Randy Gardner did it for a high school science project. He lasted 11½ days but recovered fully. No damage. A guy in London tried but fell short. Another did 19 hours but slept two hours each night, so that doesn’t count. Also he was seated in a rocking chair. If I do this thing, which you claim I’m doing, I’ll do it on my feet. Standing up.
After 36 hours of sleep deprivation it’s like being drunk, 72 hours and paranoia sets in, Day Four the mind goes into hallucinations and you’re dreaming while awake. The problem is there’s no way to know how to offset brain damage or to train for this because there isn’t sufficient research. I believe the first guy’s mistake was not being in great physical condition. Also he used stimulants to keep awake, which I assume did him in.
All that I do will be open and documented. My income’s going to the Brooke Medical Center, which helps kids, and my research to science. For instance, we already know dietary restriction is a retardation of aging and disease. When you overeat your body must work and it gets tired. If I eat medicinally, my body will be entire.
I’m dropping 30 pounds. I do two hours every day on the treadmill. I’m on a raw diet that includes brown rice. No red meat. No animal products besides cooked fish.”
[Perez Hilton 12.07.07]
It's Friday and you know what that means...
Will Saracen hook up with / diss another girl?
Will Coach T give sound advice all while looking cool as shit?
Will Riggins be a step slow? Will he have to take Santiago down?
Will Jason Street make his first appearance since Mexico?
These questions and more will be answered soon in our next installment of FNL
Ted Ferguson
I just rediscovered Ted Ferguson: Budlight Daredevil...an instant classic
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CY2AZH3mCg&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CY2AZH3mCg&feature=related
Hood rich
Flashback (circa July 2007:
Ahh it was only a few short months ago - shorts were worn, sleep was had, sunlight touched my face. Good times...
Those days are gone but the memory remains. Check out Casey and my version of MTV Cribs: UWS style
Jam of the Week: The-Dream "Falsetto"
This week's Jam of the Week is "Falsetto," brought to you by new up-and-coming artist The-Dream. Fresh off his semi-hit "Shawty is a 10," which peaked at #17 on the Billboard Hot 100 and #6 on the R&B/Hip-Hop charts, The-Dream has decided that this is the moment to take the next step toward becoming Hoodfab by paying MTV an undisclosed sum of money to have "Falsetto" gain extra airplay as the Jam of the Week. The only reason that I'm pleased about "Falsetto" being the Jam of the Week is that due to it being finals week, I still won't have to hear it all that much. That, and the fact that this song is so bad as to provide conclusive evidence in support of my theory that the Jam of the Week is a title which can be bought, as no music network executive in their right mind would bestow upon this piece of trash the "JW" moniker in the upper-left hand corner of the screen.
It is obvious that The-Dream is trying to follow Ne-Yo's playbook in his rise to fame as a solo artist. Begin by writing hits for established artists (notably, Rihanna's "Umbrella" and J Holliday's "Bed") and use the success of these singles as a springboard to sign your own record deal. Unfortunately, while he also has a strangely hyphenated name, The-Dream lacks all of the intangibles that aided Ne-Yo's rise to fame: namely, good looks, dance moves, and a gaze that makes even me swoon. In addition, The-Dream's main feud as an artist is with Chris Brown - not exactly a great way build up your street cred. Sidenote, did you know that The-Dream wrote "Umbrella" in a mere 12 minutes? Coincidentally, that's exactly how long I pause the video for when Rihanna's in her silver bodypaint suit.
I probably ought to say a little something about the video and song themselves. Well, let me say this: they're fucking horrid. An overabundance of slow-motion scenes, a dearth of attractive females, strange props and scenes, and an unintelligible and boring plot makes this video practically unwatchable. It's unlistenable too, since The-Dream seems to think that talking in a falsetto himself is a way to sell records - actually, it's a way to get me to change the channel every hour for the next week (we have a remote in the Zebra now Ro - it's sick!)
In sum, Ro, while I will provide you with a link for this video out of courtesy in case you want another reason to kill yourself besides endless Excel monkey business and DCF analysis, I feel a duty to also provide you with something a little more interesting to help you pass the time as your workday reaches the halfway point. I hope you enjoy my alternate selection.
Snoop Dogg's Latest: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKz-RXSeIYA
Yours in the Bonds,
Does Guitar Hero Count?
Evidence (as if needed) that being a rock star equals hot chicks, regardless of how ugly you are
FNL's Lyla Garrity with arguably-talented John Mayer
Ex-supermodel Kate Moss with ex-husband, still-crack addicted/ugly Pete Doherty
Transformers Angelina-wannabe* Megan Fox
*In a good way
FNL's Lyla Garrity with arguably-talented John Mayer
Ex-supermodel Kate Moss with ex-husband, still-crack addicted/ugly Pete Doherty
Transformers Angelina-wannabe* Megan Fox
*In a good way
What will Riggins brood over this week?
Simulcast viewing will take place circa Sunday morning at 930 am. All roommates should be in attendance. All satellite viewing can be simulcast (dial in to be circulated offline)
