Reported to you a few days back that the "Local Lange Girl Model Contest" was all but wrapped up, boldly declaring Jessica Lange the inevitable, landslide champion. And in AMDAL's defense, the competitor's qualifications are pretty stacked:
- Bavarian
- Dad is in the army (army brat: intriguing)
- "love[s] snow and try to ski, but could use some private lessons"
- a mélange of extensively airbrushed Barbizon shots
But if you've been following the race like we have, you've noticed a number of fresh faces wending their way into contention. Here, for your browsing pleasure, crib notes on the rest of the field: (Links aren't necessarily suitable for work.)
- MessyJessie - (+) Name. Boulderite. Probably knows Maynard. Loves Beaver Creek. (-) Probably not a great gardener.
- Elizabeth - (+) Grew up in New Hampshire, now lives in Boulder. (-) Boston fan: Ding City.
- Armada_ski_girl00 - (+) C-side Tila Tequila. The first time I looked at her name I thought it said "Armadillo Girl". (-) Seriously botched collagen injection. Could be a platypus.
- Kat - (+) Rebelling against her Mormon upbringing. Good tan, very pouty. Getting a non-specific degree from Weber State. (-) Possibly the Blair Witch.
There are others, but those seem to be the front runners.
So when you go to vote on this snowy Thursday morning, take with you the words of social darwinism's own H.L. Mencken: "Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard.” Well, common people, you know what you want, and we all know you want it good and hard! Fortunately, we're pretty sure MessyJessie is happy to oblige.
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