(My Truly) Random Thoughts (on Vomiting...)

1) I don't know about you guys, but I can't wait until Scos uploads the photos of his colon!

2) In the meantime let us consider other gastrointestinal illnesses (a popular topic of late: here, here).

3) In prepping for an Infectious Disease conference for tomorrow I was reviewing the procedures re: tracking/controlling an epidemic/ outbreak(!)

This was the example given: The day after the National Boards, there is a DMS second-year picnic at Storrs Pond. Two classmates start preparing the tuna salad for sandwiches. Lunch is scheduled for 1pm, but because of the 88 degree weather, everyone swims until 3pm and then lunch is served. Mass vomiting begins later that evening.

I'm taking the Boards on a Tuesday. That means this scenario occurs on a Wednesday. Vomiting a few hours after 3pm on a Wednesday in Hanover??? I may not be an epidemiologist, but I don't see anything out of the ordinary here.

4) [Historical Perspective] Here's a classic painted woodcut of an upper GI infection from yesteryear. Let the reader note a few valuable points of interest. Firstly, the vomitor's chin is clearly down. Tsk, tsk. Chin up, my friend! Like this.
On the other hand, isn't it great to see this man's wife holding back his mane so as to not soil his headpiece? That's affection for you.
Also noteworthy, this traditional scene exemplifies the importance of a "vomiting audience"--even in the olden days. One's vomitus is always more impressive with an applauding crowd--Bravo, bravo! Encore!
And lastly, see that coloration? That's not red Powerade. That's blood! OOOODIN. OOOOODIN.

Liveblog: Staycation

Just some turtles, wangin out in Central Park...

Steve Jobs: This is Why iPhones Don't Have Flash

People have been asking for Flash support on their iPhones for, well, ever since the iPhone came out. Although Flash is primarily used for interactive/annoying ads, websites like Hulu use it to stream video. Hulu on the iPhone would be sweet, right? Wrong, according to Steve Jobs. Mr. Jobs released an official statement on Flash today, and I suggest you read it if you have an iPhone. If you just want the conclusions, hit the break...

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All My Posts Are Way Overdue*

And with this video/new international anthem, I think I officially can bequeath my AMDAL moniker to BMar. Who knew so many years ago...



*Yeah, I thought this would have been better, too. What can I say, I peaked.

Colonoscopy Prep Liveblog

As I noted in my South Park post, I'm having my first colonoscopy tomorrow. Preparation for it ("The Prep") began less than an hour ago. Come join me!

6:10 – Preparing the Trilyte concoction. The powder comes in an intimidating 4 Liter jug. I’m filling it to the top with water and shaking vigorously. The prescription form says: “COMMON USES: This medicine is a laxative used to clean out the bowel before surgery or other procedures.” This reminds me of the brief conversation I had when I picked up the jug at Duane Reade a couple hours ago. It ended with the pharmacist saying, “Thanks. Have a nice day.” I laughed and said, “No, this is not going to be a nice day.”

6:15 – Round 1. Slugging my first 8oz glass of the nasty medicine. And it is nasty. Tastes like a viscous salt-water mixed with orange Tang. Ralph. Luckily, I went to Dartmouth so I know how to pinch a glass and open my throat. Unluckily, I’m about to have violent diarrhea.

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South Park Hits 200 - Part I

I was going to write this post two weeks ago, when South Park, my most favorite show ever, reached it’s glorious 200th episode, but I didn’t for a few reasons:

1. Writing for a blog is really boring. Seriously, have you ever tried it? It takes so much time and when you’re done, the product usually stinks. So you have to re-write, which takes even more time (and involves reading, which is also boring), and then the revised draft is only marginally better. So you throw in a few wiener jokes and maybe some self-deprecation and hope that stuff improves the piece; it normally doesn’t. Finally, you post it and then wait impatiently for readers – most of whom you don’t even know – to respond. If you’re lucky you’ll get a few Likes, maybe a Funny or two, and of course a several Boos. The personal insults and attacks in the comments section are a lot of fun too.
2. My tummy hurts. I’m not joking about this one: I’ve had serious lower abdominal pain for about six months now. It’s gotten so bad, in fact, that last week I had to get an endoscopy. (For those unfamiliar, you get knocked out and a doctor examines your digestive track with a scope. When you wake up, you’re all disorientated and confused about why your wallet is missing.) Fortunately, those results came back negative. Unfortunately, that means I now have to get a colonoscopy done – tomorrow. In preparation for that little picnic, I’m on a liquid diet and will begin consuming some nasty medicine starting in less than an hour. Guess what the medicine will make me do? (Side note: if this post seems rushed / poorly written, it’s because a) it is; b) I’m pretty worried about this colonoscopy prep; I'm going to start liveblogging about it soon.)
3. South Park ended their milestone episode “200” on a major cliffhanger, so I waited a week to see how things got resolved. Suffice it to say, both episodes generated a lot of controversy, which has been covered unevenly in the media and blogosphere. Regardless, I’ll try here, in Part I to provide some background and some links to things if you’d like to learn more. Part II (which I’ll hopefully do this weekend) will be a much more light-hearted discussion about the funny stuff in these episodes and why I think South Park rocks. I’ll also reminisce about my favorite moments from the series and talk about what’s next for the show’s creators, Matt Stone and Trey Parker.
   

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Easy Mango Chicken Skewers

In a matter of days I will get to be an aunt--- which at this young and irresponsible age, is an ideal baby situation. My sister’s unborn son, who we lovingly refer to as ‘the little critter’ will undoubtedly be a cute bundle of joy and as an aunt I am in the awesome position to spoil the little guy and also carry him around in one of those awesome front backpacks for a few hours, reaping some “ooohs” and “ahhhs” while simultaneously keeping warm with this adorable space heater strapped to my chest. The best part of this equation is that it only lasts a few hours at a time and then… I get to give the baby back! This is key to the amazingness of being a mere aunt or uncle: Giving the baby back and going on with your life.

I’d imagine that free time will be pretty much eliminated in my sister and brother-in-law’s home, so in their honor I’ll offer a recipe so quick and easy that even new parents could whip it up for a delicious dinner. But don’t worry, you don’t have to have a baby to make this :) It is also easy and delicious for us young folks with a busy sched and a hankering for some tasty food.

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Oversexed: Part 2

On Friday I shared some relatively asinine comments about our collectively oversexed College hookup culture (here). In response to that "article," over the weekend a little bird passed me this link below. Apparently even pre- and grade-schoolers are in on the action. See America's favorite "Uninentionally Perverted Toys" here.

AMDAL Update: What The F*ck Is A Favicon?

A favicon is the mini version of the logo above that you should now see in your URL or in your favorites toolbar. It used to be the "B" for "Blogger," which was pretty JV. Now it's letters you can't quite make out but based on the color scheme can assume it's going to bring you to a snarky website with as many haters as fans and written by post-grads who justify their significant blogging time with the idea that they are more "efficient" at their job than the other corporate drones.

Baby steps.

Thanks to Zach E. for dropping the favicon on our site.

Point Break LIVE!(BLOG!)

College Culture: Hooking Up

Every medical student in a small, rural, quaint New England town knows that the nearby undergraduates are oversexed and available.

According to a recent CNN biopic (here), apparently things aren't too different at Vanderbilt University, where get this: something called "raging" happens almost every weekend (they're kidding right?!) Debauchery is often followed by necking and light to moderate petting with acquaintances or even strangers. Whoa whoa! Slow down there, Tiger (capital T). Are things really this grim? Do "relationships" have to be based solely on physical lusting, hormonal rages, and Keystone??

Thankfully not! According to the article, some folks -like Catholics- have decided that hooking up isn't for everyone. They've ventured to abstain from the practice and apparently have Lady Gaga's support.

But why bother? Well, Frannie Boyle, the celibate muse of the movement and the focus of the article, points out that there is an unhealthy psychological toll associated with hooking up. Unfortunately, and perhaps not too shockingly, it seems to occur more frequently in women than in men. Feelings of depression, rejection, obesity, and poor self-esteem result.

The logical and directly linear extension of this conundrum, of course, is abstinence --the certain cure-all solution. Says Boyle, "I'm respecting myself and I won't waste my time with some guy who doesn't care about me." More power to you, girlfriend!

So while she's lost some guy friends in the process ("They probably weren't my friends anyway.") she has gained some important self-respect. On the other hand, some of her followers suggest to potential suitors, "At least invite us to dinner before expecting us to get down and dirty!" ... Ya, so much for progress and the strong independent woman...

Caption This

The new Deluxe Comfort "Girlfriend Body Pillow" is available for $9.95 at Sears. Make sure you read the Product Description!

My favorite comments, over at Gizmodo.com: "Tossing and turning at night because your one-armed, lumpy-felt-breasted girlfriend left town?" and "There's not much more to say, really, other than that if this is the Deluxe version I'd hate to see what standard gets you."

KFC Cures Cancer

"For breast cancer, a clear association between obesity and disease risk seems to have been established." - Annals of Oncology
 
For each pink bucket of chicken its customers eat, KFC will donate 1000 calories and 50 grams of fat to help cure cause breast cancer. In raising the expected $8M to support research, KFC will have donated at least 16B calories and 8M grams of fat to the american public (possibly more, as its customers buy larger buckets, sugary sodas, DoubleDowns, etc).

Carry on, America.

George Carlin on Earth Day

"The planet is fine. The people are fucked."

Ditch Cable for Hulu Plus?

I'm sure all of you know about Hulu - you know, the free and legal way to watch TV episodes. LA Times claims Hulu will launch their paid option called "Hulu Plus" as early as May 24th. At $10 a month, the "Hulu Plus" plan will gain you access to their archived shows. As you may have noticed, the free version only lets you watch the past 5 episodes, which kindof sucks if you want to start a show from the beginning. I don't know if its worth it yet, since I already pay around $60 a month for DirecTV and another $10 for Netflix, but it's an interesting option.

My question is this:

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Happy Earth Day!

FUCK! I didn't sleep last night and so I drove the 1 mile to class today, which I NEVER do; and of course, today of all days is Earth Day.

I'm a bad environmentalist.

Respect the Earth. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle. Think green.

What's up EL?

Jam Of The Week: LCD Soundsystem - "Drunk Girls"

PLEDGE TERM!

(As told by Spike Jonze)

See more videos (with actual commentary) that include a man-child, a boy band, an excellent new band and more after the jump...

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Random Thoughts

Last week I got an amazing massage at this Asian massage parlor in the city. Right at the end of my session, I received what is commonly referred to as a “happy ending,” even though I didn’t ask for one or get charged for it. “Wow,” I said. “You’re quite a masseuse!” “Actually, it’s pronounced masseur,” he replied in a deep voice, as he wiped off his strong, leathery hands.

One of my friends wrote me a scathing email in which he accused me of being a “flake,” because I wasn’t returning his calls and had bailed on dinner and drinks a few times. So I wrote him a long thoughtful response, explaining my recent behavior. Unfortunately, right before I hit send, I lost my Internet connection, and then something else came up, which was pretty important.

What is it about hospitals that makes you want to touch everything and then suck on your fingers?

When I was a kid, my grandpa used to make me the best milkshakes with this little yellow blender of his. The thing is, whenever I would drink them I always ended up coughing real hard afterward. I asked him about it and he said such a reaction was not unusual and was probably related to my asthma. Years later, however, when my grandpa passed away, I was cleaning out his basement and I found that old yellow blender. And when I picked it up, I realized that it actually wasn’t a blender at all, but just a dirty yellow ashtray. I think this also helps explain the coughing.

I was in the shower the other day, performing my biannual testicular self-examination. Halfway through it I completely freaked out because I discovered a small lump. To calm myself, I tried to think of an alternative explanation: Is it possible that this isn’t a tumor, but just your superfluous third testicle? After another feel, I was relieved to learn that I was indeed correct: it was just Little William, causing mischief, like he always does.

Appomattox Day

While many of us are looking to the future, in this iPhone 4G-crazed world, let us not forget the past.

April 9th was Appomattox Court House Day. On that day in 1865, which was a Palm Sunday, Gen. Robert E. Lee officially surrendered to Lt. General Grant. The surrender was not signed at the courthouse itself, but rather at the McLean House nearby, thus ending the War Between the States.

I'm posting this today, 11 days late, because I got confused. Still worth remembering though.

Other exciting days coming up: Earth Day is April 22! Stay tuned.

What the new iPhone looks like...

In case anyone cares. Head over to Gizmodo.com for better pictures and more videos.

If my longer reviews are quick sixes, consider this my shotgun review: I LOVE IT!

P.S. Apple must be furious with this leak. Whoever left this prototype at a restaurant... well... let's just ask the question: Is Steve Jobs gonna have to choke a bitch?

I Say Fro, You Say Yo

New York goes from sweet and pretty to muggy and sweltering in a heartbeat. For me, glimpses of humidity and walking around in the sunshine lead to intense fro yo cravings. What is it with girls and fro yo? We love it, we crave it, we put wayyy too many toppings on it and honestly if I could get my daily vitamins and fiber intake from Pink berries and tasty d swirls alone, I think I could be content living on the stuff all summer long.

This summer love is what made last week's fed ex delivery so exciting; a magical gift arrived in our apartment --- a Cuisinart ice cream, sorbet and frozen yogurt maker. What!? You say. Make your own frozen yogurt?!! Make your own flavors in the comfort of your own tiny apartment??? Yes, my friends it is true. I have done it, it was easy and yes It was gooooood.

Gather your roommates, nag your bf, do whatever it takes and get yourself a cusinart model #ICE-30BE to make this delicious concoction...

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Dave Chappelle Is Back?

Not much has been made about Dave Chappelle's comeback. There was little fanfare and almost no press. Considering how much of a media scene his departure from Chappelle Show caused, you'd think there'd be a bit more interest in his return to comedy. But with a slow roll out of shows, both impromptu and public, it seems Dave is being methodical (read: careful) about his return.

Not sure on the date of the video above, but based on the material (and his slight but noticeable physique boost), it's clearly pretty recent. I wouldn't say it's his best stuff but it's obviously great to have him back.

Source / one more clip from this show here

Bringing the Rage in Philly

According to USA Today: "Philadelphia has always been known for having tough crowds, but bad fan behavior there may have hit a new low at a Phillies game this week. There, a 21-year-old fan allegedly vomited intentionally on the 11-year-old daughter of an off-duty cop."

Depicted above is Matthew Clemmens, ragey douchebag from Cherry Hill, N.J., sporting a double chin and a big fat black-eye. He projectile vomited ("booted") all over a little girl.

The father of the victim, Easton Police Capt. Michael Vangelo, said, "It was the most vile, disgusting thing I've ever seen, and I've been a cop for 20 years... [Clemmens] leaned over and put two fingers down his throat" and then "started vomiting on us."

"I was just a dad with my kids enjoying a game," Vangelo said. "I never experienced anything like that before" [because I did not attend Dartmouth].

A fuller version of the story here and an interview with Vangelo here.

Jam of the Week: Toni Braxton - "Hands Tied"

Everyone loves a comeback and I think it's safe to assume that Toni Braxton is well on her way. Peep the Old School JOTW after the jump for what 13 years will do to you (Answer: very little, but see for yourself). Aside from her excellent pole dancing singing skills, I'm particularly happy that an asian man can be seen as sexually desirable in an R&B video. If I ever joined DAAAA or CAASAAA or whatever group with the acronym that stood for Tri Kap, I would totally use their letterhead to send Ms. Braxton a thank you note for her socially conscious efforts. Here's to you Toni - looking / sounding good.

Bonus: Toni Braxton - "Make My Heart" video (Catsuit!)

Check out some more good ones, including at least one some will argue should have been the JOTW and a few more that surely will be called not socially or politically significant enough to grace the pixels of AMDAL.

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Liveblog: The monster is back!

Random Thoughts

I used to think that the most embarrassing thing that could happen in a relationship would be your girlfriend finding skidmarks in your underwear. But a few weeks ago, I realized that I was wrong because I found skidmarks in her underwear. Horrified, all I could think was, Now she’s definitely gonna know that I’ve been wearing her underwear.

Whenever I’m out dining with a big group and my plate is the last one to be brought out, I like to say to everyone, “By all means, please don’t start without me.”

Isn’t it funny that when we spot an old friend on the street, we usually look the other way and pretend we didn’t see him – just because we don’t feel like talking about how we left our unpaid job at a struggling start-up and how we’ve nearly depleted all the savings we had built up from years of working on Wall Street?

One of the easiest ways to tell you haven’t been to the gym for a very long time is when you finally do go, you can’t remember the combination to your Master Lock.

I get very squeamish whenever I get my blood taken. I think this goes back to when I was just a kid and my mom took me to the doctor. He tied the tourniquet on real tight, took out this huge needle and plunged it deep into my vein. I was told to keep my eyes closed for a few minutes, but I couldn’t, and I opened them after a few seconds. And there was the doctor, trying to feel up my mom.

Links From The Peanut Gallery

I hope it's a good sign but lot's of people have been sending me links to random / awesome shit on the Internets, saying it'd be perfect for AMDAL. Instead of filtering the noise, I think I'll just post it all.

So here you go. Some of it is even from CNN!

A list and a video description of the most annoying corporate buzzwords that will make you want to rip your sleeves off at the elbow hole and throw your keyboard at your staffer. Thanks Alyssa and Joel.

You thought dogfighting was bad - Apes boxing for sport. Thanks Noah Z.

Democratic Rep. Hank Johnson makes a ludicrous statement about Guam. Thanks Cam.

Now you can not only Sink The Lusitania Bismarck(!), with the highest alcohol content of any beer, you can also die doing it. Thanks Lauren B.

Links That Make You Go Oof

Stats section: 1 in 10 married men (and women!) would have an affair with Angelina Jolie. That's not really news, I just wanted to have an excuse to post pictures of Angelina Jolie.

TV runs my life: Treme, aka "The Wire: New Orleans," debuted last night. Anyone see it / have thoughts?

Science got cool after I gave it up: We might be living in a parallel universe; Viruses have been engineered to split water molecules, opening the door for an efficient hydrogen source; A newly discovered marine species needs no oxygen to survive.

Nerdspeak corner: Apple might make the new iPhone's sexting capabilities more interactive; The iPad will make burning books more acceptable; Ice T is still bad ass, even on Twitter.

Rope tow update: Ouch.

Sources: Tim D., Elise H., Zach E., Google Reader

MLR's Life According To Google

See the original Super Bowl ad here and try your own here.

Retro Games Destroy NYC

Because it has Tetris in it and I'm so over New York.

Quick 6 Review: iPad

Oh, the iPad. We've been drooling over it as much as we've been hating on it. It's a product that's been "on the horizon" for the past decade, and now that it's finally here, what do we make of it? It's nothing completely out of the ordinary that completely revolutionizes the way we interact with computers - all it is is a big iPod Touch! But after you start using this thing, you really start to think to yourself: "holy shit, this thing feels like its from the future…" And that's where your's truly comes in - here's my patented Quick Six Review of the iPad:

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Healthy Carbonara for the Spring

Ankles are bare, coffee is iced and the streets of NY are filled with happy people soaking up some much needed Vitamin D... Spring has officially sprung! The street-side restaurant seating, floods of European tourists on the Upper Westside and the faint aroma of dog pee on the sidewalk promptly cast my mind back to my junior year semester in Rome where my mind travels to one place... The food!!!

With the help of our rowdy group of 10 studenti di Dartmouth, I quickly learned the 4 most important things about Roman culture:
1. The Italian word for strike is sciopero. This is an essential piece of vocab since the Italians love strikes and have them all the time, especially the public transportation. Luckily you can plan to walk ahead of time since the strikes are conveniently announced in advance in the newspaper.
2. Italians do NOT like binge drinking. This posed a problem at first but we soon found an American bar with Wednesday night AYCD beer power hour, where we held "meetings" every week.
3. Italians are terrible dancers --- a great discovery and amazing confidence booster for those non power-hour nights out at Italian discoteques.
4. Most importantly, it is IMPOSSIBLE to have a bad meal in Rome. Really, it's impossible!

Which brings me to the pasta - it's all about the Roman Carbonara. Unfortunately, with crazy 85 degree weather in NY and swimsuit season around the bend, Carbonara is a pretty heavy dinner to say the least. Luckily I found this suprisingly delicious Carbonara swap out: a healthy low-fat remix that still gets across the key flavors.

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Jam of the Week: Aloe Blacc - "I Need A Dollar"

A while back I talked about the HBO show "How To Make It In America," or rather, about its mixtape. I watched the season finale on demand tonight and while I like the mixtape much better than the show, I enjoyed it for what it was. The opening sequence song, however, kept me looking forward to the coming week's episode. Now Aloe Blacc has given "I Need A Dollar" the video treatment. It didn't have to do much (anything) to give me an excuse to listen to the song one more time, but the style and story managed to impress. With an interesting pace that makes you want to know what happens next, I was forced to largely overlook the confusing ending and instead chalk it up to an effort to be 'deep.' Can't say that about the show itself.

Hit the jump for a few videos, including a beautiful and talented R&B singer's renaissance and one of AMDAL's favorite white boys (not Hank (this time)).

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Scos To Attend BSchool!

Esteemed editor and occasional potty-mouth Scos got into a very distinguished business school in Virginia, among others. This alone, would be great news, if it weren't totally outshined by the fact that he quit his job and now officially has no good excuse NOT to write more for AMDAL. Look out for that, and in the meantime, congratulate him on all the hard work and success.

Scos' doppleganger after the jump

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Most Glorious Victory Over Terrorism!

This video has been making the rounds the last 36 hours... I encourage the readership to watch but be aware that it is very disturbing. It is mostly self-explanatory, let me just add a quick comment. Unsettling as the bloodlust of the individual pilots on the video is, this kind of behavior is clearly systemically present in Iraq. As ye sow, so shall ye reap.

Video after the jump

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Hank!

Congrats to Hankers on his recent BSchool acceptance. All you Boston / East Coast folks get to keep him around for a few more years. But after that, we're calling fives.

Will It iLink?

As an ex-pretengineer, the inefficiency above makes me physically sick. Plus, why wear a helmet biking if you don't wear one running? I highly doubt she's going faster than she would be on a jog anyways. And what happens when going downhills? Does she run faster? I digress. Here's the link.

Will the iPad blend? Yup.
Actually Useful Bonus: iPad already installed into a car's dashboard. Without turn-by-turn directions (or 3G for now), drivers (in what is sure to be their last few minutes on Earth) can enjoy a larger touchscreen while playing SkiFree.
Priorities Bonus: "Dr. Dre > iPad" - LeBron

The Dude abides

New FX cartoon show Archer is offensive, amazing.

As part of her job, Dartmouth alum Amanda D. scours the internet for hilarious shit. Don't let the haters keep you down Dobbins.

iPad First Look

Other notes:
One thing I didn't get to demonstrate is typing on the iPad. Steve said typing was "a dream." Too soon to tell if he's right, but it's actually pretty good. You can do really fast two finger typing or actually try to use all of your fingers like on a keyboard; and with the software's autocorrection, the results are ok. I'm sure they're better with practice. I didn't show it bc I didn't have someone to hold the camera.

The calendar app is way more expansive than iCal for MacOSX.

Lastly, the iBookstore has nice interface as you'd expect. The iPad ships with a free Winnie the Pooh book, which looks fine. Pages turn elegantly and you can bookmark words/phrases etc. or use the built in dictionary to look things up.

The screen is gorgeous.

Update 1: The video should play on iPhones and mobile devices now. I think I had the quality set too high before. Looks grainier now but shows up on my iPad, which it ironically didn't before!

LiveBlog: Awaiting the iPad

Best Buy: West Lebanon, NH.

Only in sf liveblog: chat roulette at a party

Jam Of The Week: KiD CuDi - “Soundtrack 2 My Life”

Blah blah blah, something about my personal life tied loosely to KiD CuDi having fun, blah blah.

Bonus: Live preview of a new Cudder at Purdue here

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Happy Easter

Google Gets 2 Gold Stars Today for Being Fun

Go to google.com*
Type in "Where Can I Find Chuck Norris"
Click "I'm feeling lucky"

*Wait- why is Google called Topeka?!?! - click the logo for the story

April Fool's Day

For the third year in the row, the venerable New York Post went around and asked America's top comedians:

1. What's the best joke you wrote in the last year?
   
2. What's the best joke you heard somebody else tell in the last year?

Some of the top 40 results:

Tom Rhodes
"A friend of mine wrote on Facebook that he was suicidal and thinking about jumping off of a bridge. So I poked him."

Colin Kane
"I think bus drivers are the most oblivious people on the road. Ave you ever seen that bumper sticker on the back 'How am I doing?' You're driving a bus, so apparently not that well. I think you missed a few stops - high school and college."

Seth Herzog
"Michelle Obama is going to 'tackle childhood obesity.' Well, good luck, Michelle. Those kids are hard to take down."

Jay Leno
"President Obama had his annual physical last week, and while a colonoscopy revealed no polyps, they did find three MSNBC reporters and New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd."

Justin McKinney
"My 2-year-old said, 'I don't like you, Daddy.' And I said, 'That's not nice to say.' So then my son said, 'I don't like you, please.'"

Nick Offerman
"When people look at me next to my gorgeous wife, I always know what they're thinking. And the answer is: I have a terrific personality."

The second 40 here.

By popular demand, I've included another clip of one of NYC's brightest, up-and-coming young comics: Lee Schloss. This guy, who went to my high school, is actually still out there making people cringe laugh!