Easy Mango Chicken Skewers

In a matter of days I will get to be an aunt--- which at this young and irresponsible age, is an ideal baby situation. My sister’s unborn son, who we lovingly refer to as ‘the little critter’ will undoubtedly be a cute bundle of joy and as an aunt I am in the awesome position to spoil the little guy and also carry him around in one of those awesome front backpacks for a few hours, reaping some “ooohs” and “ahhhs” while simultaneously keeping warm with this adorable space heater strapped to my chest. The best part of this equation is that it only lasts a few hours at a time and then… I get to give the baby back! This is key to the amazingness of being a mere aunt or uncle: Giving the baby back and going on with your life.

I’d imagine that free time will be pretty much eliminated in my sister and brother-in-law’s home, so in their honor I’ll offer a recipe so quick and easy that even new parents could whip it up for a delicious dinner. But don’t worry, you don’t have to have a baby to make this :) It is also easy and delicious for us young folks with a busy sched and a hankering for some tasty food.

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Hot and Cheesy Chicken Wraps

Air travel is not what it used to be. I’m not talking about the Oooold days where people dressed in their Sunday best and stewardesses looked like pinup girls, but rather the old days, where they gave you a meal and a pillow and it didn’t cost $20 to check your bag, EACH WAY!

Having just returned from a delightful trip to Utah I was thoroughly unimpressed with the status of New York air travel. I arrived at JFK terminal 8 --- which if you’ve been there, you would know it is an entirely un-feng shui little rat hole. Any movement is slowed by crisscrossing security and check in lines and the space is made all the more creepy by the ever-present chirping birds which fly around in the rafters, nesting and inevitably stealing fries from your table at Sam Adam’s brew house. I got onto the airplane and realized that I of course would not be fed on the 5+ hour flight unless I wanted to shell out $5 for a giant STAX of lays chips or a face-size cookie. The saving grace was the PB+J in my carry-on and the back of the seat in front of me, a personal tv. Food Network is definitely my airplane station of choice. I can zone out in my chair and watch it without having to focus. The problem with this is that it makes me SO hungry. I normally stick with Giada and The Barefoot Contessa but I would be lying if I said I didn't get a sort of sick pleasure out of watching Paula Deen. I mean that woman can take something an innocent as a banana and defile it in every fattening way possible and still tell you to feed it to your kids, with a smile! Watching her show is akin to clicking here. You say ewww gross but every once in a while you think ‘Mmmmm that actually that looks kinda good’ and stow away that recipe for a far-off rainy Sunday. I was intrigued by the tagline for this particular show: ‘Paula goes bananas with bananas!’ I like bananas, I'd like a good banana recipe and I am grossly curious how unhealthy Paula Deen can make them. She does not disappoint. First off she's making a great after school snack for kids --- bananas covered in melted butter, fried in cornflakes crumbs. It’s kind of like watching a heart attack in super slow motion. Then it's a banana ham casserole. She layers wonder bread with ham, cheddar cheese, banana, potato chips, heavy cream and wait for it, wait for it... Bacon. It's sick… It's clogging arteries across America… but I have to wait till the end of the show to watch her fat face light up when that gnarly ham banana casserole comes sizzling out of the oven.

So in Paula’s honor I’ve decided to jazz up a chicken breast with bacon and cheese --- or rather turkey bacon and low fat cheese. Continue reading for all the gooey goodness of a heart attack Paula-style but without the actual fat and cholesterol!

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Game Day Grub: Hot Subs Two Ways

The last time I knew what was going on in professional football, Troy Aikman and Emmitt Smith were killing it for the cowboys and I was watching the Superbowl in Airwalks.

In terms of this coming Sunday, I know the following: the Manning brother that’s not from Hoboken is playing against Kim Kardashian's boyfriend and I should turn to Animal Planet at halftime for the most amazing puppy display I will ever witness.

My lack of knowledge does nothing to diminish my enthusiasm though... Football food is the best! The Superbowl is usually primetime to be a big fatty but this year I'm going to share some delicious dishes that only taste unhealthy. Here are two easy hot sandwich recipes that skip on the grease and are also delicious served without bread as a hearty entree...

Rachel Ray's Buffalo Sloppy Joe's
-Makes 4 big servings
Serve on a roll or baguette for an amazing sandwich or just in a bowl as a hearty stew.

-2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
-1 pound ground chicken or turkey breast
-1 carrot, peeled and chopped or grated
-2 stalks celery, chopped
-1 yellow onion, finely chopped
-2 to 3 cloves garlic, finely chopped or grated
-Salt and freshly ground black pepper
-2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
-2 tablespoons brown sugar (I used 1 tablespoon of a brown sugar/splenda blend)
-1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
-1/4 cup Frank's Red Hot sauce
-1 cup tomato sauce
-1 cup chicken broth
-Burger rolls, split and toasted (optional)

Directions
-Heat a large skillet with extra-virgin olive oil over medium-high heat.
-Add meat and break it up into little chunks with wooden spoon, cook 5 to 6 minutes.
-Add in carrots, celery, onions and garlic, season with salt and freshly ground black pepper, cook 7 to 8 minutes more.
-In a bowl combine the vinegar, sugar, Worcestershire, hot sauce, tomato sauce and stock. Pour into the pan and stir to combine.
-Simmer a few minutes more. Pile sloppy Buffalo filling onto buns and top with blue cheese or a little of the below ranch sauce.

Optional side sauce - cools down the spicy.
-1 cup fat free plain Greek yogurt
-1 half packet ranch dressing seasoning powder.
- Mix together and serve a little dollop on your Jo.

My Sausage and Peppers
-Serve on a roll or baguette for an amazing sandwich or just in a bowl as a hearty stew.

-4 sweet Italian turkey sausage
-1 large (28 ounce) can whole peeled tomatoes
-1 onion - chopped into thin slices
-2 red bell peppers – chopped into thin slices
-2 cloves garlic – chopped finely
-Italian seasoning
-1 bay leaf (located near seasonings)

-Put large pan over medium- high heat
-Spray with Pam
-Cook sausage for a few minutes until browner on all sides- take off and put on plate
- auté the onions, peppers and garlic for 10 mins sprinkle on some salt
-While veggies are cooking, cut the Sausages up into little bite size pieces
-Throw sausages back in pot and add canned tomatoes and juice
-Sprinkle 2 teaspoons salt, 1 tablespoon Italian seasoning and mix everything up
-Sauté for 20 minutes, taste and add more salt to taste.

Remix to Fried Chicken

(HT to R. Kelly)

Now,um,usually I dont do this but uh....
Go head' on and break ‘em off wit a lil' preview of the remix....

No I'm not tryin to be rude,
But hey muffin top I'm seein’ you
The way you eat oily gassy food
Remind me of my Lexus coupe
That’s why you need to use yo grill
Tryina lower yur fast food bill
You must be a big fat joke
S'here's how you got to make yo meal

So baby gimme that shake shake
Lemme give you that bake bake
Runnin those breasts through the sauce
Eat’em with mustard sauce
While they say on the radio...

It's the remix to fried chicken
Hot and fresh out the kitchen
Mama rollin that body
Got every man in here wishin
I was cookin his bird
I’m like so what I’m drunk
It's the freakin chicken baby
Health food can be so much fun

Bake Bake Bake Bake Bake
Bake Bake
Bake Bake Bake…

Fried Chicken (the healthier remix)
Makes 2 medium servings

Chicken
3 Chicken skinless breasts
1 cup fat free plain Greek yogurt
3 slices wheat bread
Salt and pepper
Garlic powder
Pam

Sauce- Stir together the below ingredients while chicken is baking
1/2 cup fat free plain Greek yogurt
2 tablespoons grey poupon Dijon mustard
3 teaspoons honey

The night or morning before...
- Slice chicken breast up into thirds - so each piece is about 2 inches wide
- Put chicken in plastic bag with about a cup of the yogurt, let marinate (between 2-24 hours)

That night
-Preheat oven to 350 degrees
-Line pan with tin foil and spray with PAM
-Toast bread
-Put bread in blender/cuisinart and add 3 teaspoons salt and 1 teaspoon pepper, 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder blend until you have made fine breadcrumbs. Put bread crumb/spice mixture in a big plastic ziplock bag
-Take chicken out of other bag with yogurt and pat dry with paper towels to get rid of excess yogurt
-Put chicken in plastic bag with crumbs and shake until chicken is all coated
-Put on tinfoil covered pan and bake for 15 minutes or until chicken is cooked through
-Serve with mustard dipping sauce

Chicken Sate with Peanut Sauce

It's hard to say how some foods came to be. Take fois grois for example, who was the first asshole who thought to himself, "Hmm I wonder what will happen if I shove a tube into this duck and force feed it until it's liver is completely diseased and fattened?... it's going to be delicious!" Or who was the brave soul who decided, “Let's take this bacteria laden milk, let it sit in our counter for a few days and then I’ll add some berries to it” - voilà you've got mixed berry yogurt.

Other things are a bit more intuitive, like food on a stick. Some cavewoman was obviously grilling up some mammoth when she couldn't find a flat stone to heat over the fire and realized she could just put the meat on a stick. The rest is history: a history filled with awesome things served on sticks.

While I abstain from eating corn dogs I do love a good toasted marshmallow, popsicle, lollipop and of course, the timeless meat skewer. So in honor of this historically tried and true way of cooking, I present you with my rendition of chicken sate...

Chicken Skewers with Homemade Peanut Sauce
Makes 3 big servings

Sauce
-1/3 cup-creamy peanut butter (I like skippy natural)
-1 and 1/3 tablespoon soy sauce (low sodium is preferable)
-2 tablespoons water
-3 teaspoons honey
-1 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes (from spice section) - use more or less depending on your spice tolerance
-1/3 cup light coconut milk (comes in a can, found in international section)

Skewer
-2 cups butternut squash- cubed
-1 red bell pepper - chopped into big squares
-1 purple onion - chopped into squares
-2 large chicken breasts cubed
-Wooden skewers
- Pam

-Preheat oven to 300
-Make sauce by mixing all sauce ingredients together in a bowl. Add crushed red pepper flakes at the end - stirring and tasting to make sure it's not too spicy for you!
-Line large baking pan with tinfoil and spray with Pam
-Put cubed squash in oven on the pan.
-After 12 minutes of baking the squash throw in the onions
-Bake for another 5 minutes and take out onions and squash
-Assemble skewers using peppers, chicken, onion and butternut squash
-Brush peanut sauce all over skewers and sprinkle lightly with salt (leaving about a 1/3 cup of sauce in the bowl.
- Bake skewers for 10 minutes or until chicken is cooked through
-Serve skewers with the extra peanut sauce for dipping

Enjoy! This sauce is delicious and would also be great for dipping beef or tofu or as a sauce on soba noodles.

Ambien Sex and Coq Au Vin

Sorry for the lapse yesterday, I was not yet able to write about food. After spending Christmas in Atlanta with my entire extended family I was still recovering from the food induced coma brought on by too many rounds of twice-baked potatoes and key lime cake. The family topics of discussion were almost as substantial. The cooking of Christmas morning breakfast brought on several bipartisan compromises after one southern family member was given “Going Rogue” while two northerners were given biographies of Ted and John F. Kennedy respectively.

But the conversation that grabbed the most attention was definitely good ol’ Tiger Woods. While we started off condemning the media for covering the story so much we soon found ourselves pulled into the void of discussing the dirty details and of course all the different media theories out there. My cousin offered his personal theory on the whole car crash, which was based on the information from some of Tiger’s mistresses – that he enjoyed taking Ambien when having sex. His theory was that Tiger took Ambien before making love to his wife that night and in an Ambien fueled delusion he did something kinky with her or called her the wrong name – confirming her suspicions that he was having an affair. She then chased him out of the house when he crashed the car and promptly started snoring on the lawn – Ambien helping him sleep. My cousin then explained how he learned via Google that if you take Ambien and are able to fight off sleep it gives you a trippy high and can enhance a sexual experience. To which my 87-year-old grandmother replied, “Why would you Google it, when you can try it?” My grandfather then perked up from across the room and asked out, “Does anyone have any Ambien?” As we all headed to bed about an hour later my giggling grandmother sweetly called out, “Now everyone take some Ambien and report back in the morning!”

Now that I’m back in the Northeast I feel it’s necessary to give myself a rest from cholesterol and Tiger talk. With time off from work and sub zero temps it is the perfect time to cook my favorite healthy yet delicious meal – Coq Au Vin. So if you feel the need to ease off the Christmas cooking and take advantage of a couple free hours – continue reading to cook this and you won’t be sorry, it has a ton of flavor and is not difficult.

My Coq Au Vin - makes 3-4 servings (great reheated as leftovers)

Ingredients
- 2 large chicken breasts with skin (or a ½ chicken cut in two pieces if you prefer heartier meat.)
- 2 ½ cups small cippolini onions - peeled and cut in half. You can also chop up red onion into chunks if you can’t find cippolini.
- 2 ½ cups mushrooms – any small variety. Sliced up.
- 3 carrots – peeled and chopped.
- 1 28-ounce can of diced tomatoes – drain out liquid
- 1 16-ounce can of light chicken broth
- 1 and 3/4 cups of red wine – whatever you have around – no need to use anything expensive.
- 2 cloves of garlic – peeled and chopped into small pieces.
- 3 tablespoons each of fresh thyme and fresh rosemary (just the leaves) --- these are usually in little plastic containers near the lettuce.
- Pam and 1 tablespoon olive oil.

Directions
-Once you have all the veggies chopped up (as specified above), put a large pan/pot over medium heat and coat with 1 tablespoon olive oil
- Put on the two chicken breasts (or thighs or whatever) and sear for 4 minutes on each side. Put chicken on plate (it will not be cooked through) and leave any scrapings or fat that is stuck to the pan in place.
- Spray pan with PAM and dump in the garlic, carrots, mushrooms, onions and herbs.
- Sprinkle on a teaspoon of salt and a ½ teaspoon of pepper and sauté for about 5 minutes – Pour in the wine and use a scraper to scrape off any chicken bits from the bottom of the pan.
- Stir and sauté the veggies and wine for 2 minutes and then add the chicken broth and diced tomatoes.
- Mix and sauté together for about 10 minutes.
- Put chicken back into the pot and mix up with veggies and broth add 1 and 1/2 teaspoon salt and ½ teaspoon pepper.
- Turn burner to medium-low and simmer (stirring occasionally) for about an hour or until chicken is cooked through and carrots are soft. If you are doing this ahead of time you can just let everything sit at low for a couple hours.

- Serve chicken with broth and veggies in a bowl and enjoy.