Air travel is not what it used to be. I’m not talking about the Oooold days where people dressed in their Sunday best and stewardesses looked like pinup girls, but rather the old days, where they gave you a meal and a pillow and it didn’t cost $20 to check your bag, EACH WAY!
Having just returned from a delightful trip to Utah I was thoroughly unimpressed with the status of New York air travel. I arrived at JFK terminal 8 --- which if you’ve been there, you would know it is an entirely un-feng shui little rat hole. Any movement is slowed by crisscrossing security and check in lines and the space is made all the more creepy by the ever-present chirping birds which fly around in the rafters, nesting and inevitably stealing fries from your table at Sam Adam’s brew house. I got onto the airplane and realized that I of course would not be fed on the 5+ hour flight unless I wanted to shell out $5 for a giant STAX of lays chips or a face-size cookie. The saving grace was the PB+J in my carry-on and the back of the seat in front of me, a personal tv. Food Network is definitely my airplane station of choice. I can zone out in my chair and watch it without having to focus. The problem with this is that it makes me SO hungry. I normally stick with Giada and The Barefoot Contessa but I would be lying if I said I didn't get a sort of sick pleasure out of watching Paula Deen. I mean that woman can take something an innocent as a banana and defile it in every fattening way possible and still tell you to feed it to your kids, with a smile! Watching her show is akin to clicking here. You say ewww gross but every once in a while you think ‘Mmmmm that actually that looks kinda good’ and stow away that recipe for a far-off rainy Sunday. I was intrigued by the tagline for this particular show: ‘Paula goes bananas with bananas!’ I like bananas, I'd like a good banana recipe and I am grossly curious how unhealthy Paula Deen can make them. She does not disappoint. First off she's making a great after school snack for kids --- bananas covered in melted butter, fried in cornflakes crumbs. It’s kind of like watching a heart attack in super slow motion. Then it's a banana ham casserole. She layers wonder bread with ham, cheddar cheese, banana, potato chips, heavy cream and wait for it, wait for it... Bacon. It's sick… It's clogging arteries across America… but I have to wait till the end of the show to watch her fat face light up when that gnarly ham banana casserole comes sizzling out of the oven.
So in Paula’s honor I’ve decided to jazz up a chicken breast with bacon and cheese --- or rather turkey bacon and low fat cheese. Continue reading for all the gooey goodness of a heart attack Paula-style but without the actual fat and cholesterol!
