Tiger's Back!

Not only will he be making a public appearance* tomorrow, but there is now "The Back 9" to the previous game involving his biddies.

And yes, the fist pump is just as satisfying in this game as the first one.

* It's to a hand selected audience- booo! Let the people ask questions!!!!

Ho In One

I couldn't think of a catchy title for this post, sorry. Fun little game found here if you get some downtime at the office. Despite the simple-graphics, the makers of this game kept the true je ne sais quoi of Tiger in this media scandal based game- if you hit one of the ladies, Tiger gives you a fist pump.

Hat tip due to Skankyface for sending this one over all the way from Wisconsin.

Ambien Sex and Coq Au Vin

Sorry for the lapse yesterday, I was not yet able to write about food. After spending Christmas in Atlanta with my entire extended family I was still recovering from the food induced coma brought on by too many rounds of twice-baked potatoes and key lime cake. The family topics of discussion were almost as substantial. The cooking of Christmas morning breakfast brought on several bipartisan compromises after one southern family member was given “Going Rogue” while two northerners were given biographies of Ted and John F. Kennedy respectively.

But the conversation that grabbed the most attention was definitely good ol’ Tiger Woods. While we started off condemning the media for covering the story so much we soon found ourselves pulled into the void of discussing the dirty details and of course all the different media theories out there. My cousin offered his personal theory on the whole car crash, which was based on the information from some of Tiger’s mistresses – that he enjoyed taking Ambien when having sex. His theory was that Tiger took Ambien before making love to his wife that night and in an Ambien fueled delusion he did something kinky with her or called her the wrong name – confirming her suspicions that he was having an affair. She then chased him out of the house when he crashed the car and promptly started snoring on the lawn – Ambien helping him sleep. My cousin then explained how he learned via Google that if you take Ambien and are able to fight off sleep it gives you a trippy high and can enhance a sexual experience. To which my 87-year-old grandmother replied, “Why would you Google it, when you can try it?” My grandfather then perked up from across the room and asked out, “Does anyone have any Ambien?” As we all headed to bed about an hour later my giggling grandmother sweetly called out, “Now everyone take some Ambien and report back in the morning!”

Now that I’m back in the Northeast I feel it’s necessary to give myself a rest from cholesterol and Tiger talk. With time off from work and sub zero temps it is the perfect time to cook my favorite healthy yet delicious meal – Coq Au Vin. So if you feel the need to ease off the Christmas cooking and take advantage of a couple free hours – continue reading to cook this and you won’t be sorry, it has a ton of flavor and is not difficult.

My Coq Au Vin - makes 3-4 servings (great reheated as leftovers)

Ingredients
- 2 large chicken breasts with skin (or a ½ chicken cut in two pieces if you prefer heartier meat.)
- 2 ½ cups small cippolini onions - peeled and cut in half. You can also chop up red onion into chunks if you can’t find cippolini.
- 2 ½ cups mushrooms – any small variety. Sliced up.
- 3 carrots – peeled and chopped.
- 1 28-ounce can of diced tomatoes – drain out liquid
- 1 16-ounce can of light chicken broth
- 1 and 3/4 cups of red wine – whatever you have around – no need to use anything expensive.
- 2 cloves of garlic – peeled and chopped into small pieces.
- 3 tablespoons each of fresh thyme and fresh rosemary (just the leaves) --- these are usually in little plastic containers near the lettuce.
- Pam and 1 tablespoon olive oil.

Directions
-Once you have all the veggies chopped up (as specified above), put a large pan/pot over medium heat and coat with 1 tablespoon olive oil
- Put on the two chicken breasts (or thighs or whatever) and sear for 4 minutes on each side. Put chicken on plate (it will not be cooked through) and leave any scrapings or fat that is stuck to the pan in place.
- Spray pan with PAM and dump in the garlic, carrots, mushrooms, onions and herbs.
- Sprinkle on a teaspoon of salt and a ½ teaspoon of pepper and sauté for about 5 minutes – Pour in the wine and use a scraper to scrape off any chicken bits from the bottom of the pan.
- Stir and sauté the veggies and wine for 2 minutes and then add the chicken broth and diced tomatoes.
- Mix and sauté together for about 10 minutes.
- Put chicken back into the pot and mix up with veggies and broth add 1 and 1/2 teaspoon salt and ½ teaspoon pepper.
- Turn burner to medium-low and simmer (stirring occasionally) for about an hour or until chicken is cooked through and carrots are soft. If you are doing this ahead of time you can just let everything sit at low for a couple hours.

- Serve chicken with broth and veggies in a bowl and enjoy.

Trend Watch!

Italian Prime Minister Silvio "Tiger Before Tiger" Berlusconi was punched in the face. No word if the punching happened in a Jersey shore bar. Or if the punching was done by a Scandinavian wife that he done wronged.
No word yet on whether "attacking prime ministers" is a new trend.

Submitted

Family Blog This!


Tiger Woods Sex Tape Leaked - Watch more Funny Videos

More Tiger Fallout

One of the overlooked casualties of this Tiger Woods saga is the use of Tiger Woods in metaphorical circumstances. I'll explain:

I was reading an article by David Brooks in which Brooks stated, "The U.S. has its problems, but Americans would be crazy to trade their problems with those of any other large nation." He goes on to say that despite all of America's ills, she still is a leader in innovation and production, so let's not get carried away with all of the morose talk from the doomsayers.

I think in analogies. I use them all the time, often to my own detriment as they get pretty convoluted. I try to explain the weird world of search marketing to my clients using analogies. I try to demonstrate my own cleverness using analogies. I try to get people talking about something I don't understand to use them to help me out.

When reading Brooks' argument that we shouldn't get all crazy just because of this sizable economic disruption, the first thing that came to mind was, "Oh, this is would be like worry that Tiger Woods was finished as a golfer just because he had one bad tournament."

Immediately, all that I could think about was the recent series of non-golf related events that have plagued Tiger. And by "plagued Tiger," I mean "he totally brought this on himself but doesn't necessarily deserve all the BS that comes along with being famous in the twenty-first century and boning down with a bunch of floozies while married." Sure, he's a jerk but so was JFK, right? The only differences are the coverage and the outrage.

Maybe that's debatable, but what isn't debatable is that speaking the name Tiger Woods no longer invokes thoughts of golf excellence alone.

Tiger is the most relevant current sports figure to be as dominant as he is. That's why he's a perfect subject for analogies involving dominance. Sure, you could use an analogy with Roger Federer in his place but that would just sound obscure coming from an American. We haven't cared about tennis since Big Pete! You could substitute Kobe Bryant, only he has his own social baggage. Lebron hasn't won a championship, so how dominant is he, really? Jordan and Gretzky are too dated as references. Tom Brady has seen his skills decline since his injury and Peyton Manning only has one Super Bowl to his name. Baseball players, as a whole, don't carry teams the way that other athletes do.

So, if you want to use a sports analogy that requires a dominant force, who are you now supposed to use? With Tiger's recent transgressions, his metaphorical use is toast, at least, for now.

I'll miss you, Metaphorical Tiger. Real Tiger may be a philanderer but, in my mind, Metaphorical Tiger was was as great at everything else as he was on the golf course.