Showing posts with label baseballs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label baseballs. Show all posts
Presented without Comment
Animated story of one of the more amazing moments in MLB history. NSFW, and hat tip to JCB on this one.
This is directed at A-OG
So I didn't give him the nickname, but he's been called ARod for years. I always surmised it was due to the fact that he's good at games, like three-time baseball AL MVP Alex "ARod" Rodriguez. But at some point in the last three years, after Madonna, steroids, slapping Red Sox players, insanely stupid photo shoots, crazy-ass delusional contract negotiations, and all the rest, does he want a new nickname? Because THIS STORY pretty much destroys any last remaning lingering shred of coolness associated with baseball-playing AROD, once and for all (and explains the photo below.
Yeah, that's Bob. Bob has B!tch T!ts.
Also, if five years ago, someone said tennis star Andy "ARod" Roddick would never win another major and be tremendously surpassed by many other tennis players, while Alex Rodriguez would win 2 more MVP awards, get a new contract with $.275 Billion, have a very good shot at becoming baseball's alltime home run king, and date a pop star...a lot of dudes would've said the baseball player was having a better life. And DAMN, were they wrong.
*Scos has, of course, already noted how sweet Roddick's life is...
Yeah, that's Bob. Bob has B!tch T!ts.Also, if five years ago, someone said tennis star Andy "ARod" Roddick would never win another major and be tremendously surpassed by many other tennis players, while Alex Rodriguez would win 2 more MVP awards, get a new contract with $.275 Billion, have a very good shot at becoming baseball's alltime home run king, and date a pop star...a lot of dudes would've said the baseball player was having a better life. And DAMN, were they wrong.
*Scos has, of course, already noted how sweet Roddick's life is...
Auto industry puts on its rally cap
Literally. Call me a baseball heretic but last time I checked, flipping your hat inside out doesn't actually change anything except your sex appeal.
Happy Friday everyone.
Update: Title fixed
AMDAL Annual Baseball Preview, 600-pounder edition
There are three teams in baseball: Yankees, Mets, Red Sox and then the garbage (everyone else). That’s it. So what if the Phillies are the reigning world champs (sorry, Japan [insert offensive GGMM joke @ here?]). So what if the Cubbies are F-ing luvable? Or that Pujols (future Met firstbaseman obvi) plays in St. Louis?
Doesn’t matter. There’s only three teams that matter.
Veteran major leaguer Julian Tavarez recently proved this point. Tavarez isn’t a great ballplayer. But he’s a Yogi-esque observer of the truth.
Recently, after waiting for a Yankee/Mets/Red Sock offer to play major league baseball, Tavarez ended up resignedly settling for a contract with the Washington Nationals. Reporters asked Tavarez why he decided to sign up for such a mediocre team.
“Why did I sign with the Nationals?” Tavarez told a group of reporters*. “When you go to a club at 4 in the morning, and you’re just waiting, waiting, a 600-pounder looks like J-Lo. And to me this is Jennifer Lopez right here. It's 4 in the morning. Too much to drink. So, Nationals [are] Jennifer Lopez to me.”
In the spirit of Julian Tavarez, we provide season-starting notes on some ball clubs that look like Jennifer Lopez alllll the time…
What to watch for: Yankees
1. Joba Chamberlin (above as a lion during his pledge term)—is he going to get more awesome? (No)
2. Arod—what will the best taunt be? Aroid? Afraud? Will BoSawx fans hold up mirrors for him to smooch/canoodle? What Madonna song plays when he comes up to bat in opposing ballparks? The Sports Guy loves this.
3. Steinbrenner Death watch—too soon? The man is not well. Lets get some honest information out there. If Yankee stadium is partially funded by taxpayer dollars, accurate information about ballclub ownership seems reasonable.
What to watch for: Mets
1. David Wright—is it time yet for Derek Jeter to transfer his soul into wright’s body and live forever?
2. K-Rod/Putz—two years ago these were, arguably, two of the four best closers in baseball. Now, one is top dog and the other fetches the doughnuts. When does Poootz snap?
3. Citifield v. New Yankee Stadium—Citifield loses this argument, right? That seems apparent. Do Mets fans revolt?
What to watch for: Red Sox
1. Possible erosion—What if the Sox are secretly the “600-pounder” that Tavarez fears? The Sox made no substantive improvements on last year’s team. They chased new Yankee slugger Mark Teixeira all winter, and didn’t sign him. They no longer have Manny. The Tampa Ray Rays beat them last year. The Yankees bought a truckload of new talent. This could be the year the Sox fall apart.
2. Big Papi—he’s toast, isn’t he?
3. John Smoltz—Smoltz could be secret weapon. If he is old Smoltzie, then the Sox will be getting an all-star pitcher joining an already loaded staff mid-season. Its almost unfair.
*-click that link.
Doesn’t matter. There’s only three teams that matter.
Veteran major leaguer Julian Tavarez recently proved this point. Tavarez isn’t a great ballplayer. But he’s a Yogi-esque observer of the truth.
Recently, after waiting for a Yankee/Mets/Red Sock offer to play major league baseball, Tavarez ended up resignedly settling for a contract with the Washington Nationals. Reporters asked Tavarez why he decided to sign up for such a mediocre team.
“Why did I sign with the Nationals?” Tavarez told a group of reporters*. “When you go to a club at 4 in the morning, and you’re just waiting, waiting, a 600-pounder looks like J-Lo. And to me this is Jennifer Lopez right here. It's 4 in the morning. Too much to drink. So, Nationals [are] Jennifer Lopez to me.”
In the spirit of Julian Tavarez, we provide season-starting notes on some ball clubs that look like Jennifer Lopez alllll the time…
What to watch for: Yankees
1. Joba Chamberlin (above as a lion during his pledge term)—is he going to get more awesome? (No)
2. Arod—what will the best taunt be? Aroid? Afraud? Will BoSawx fans hold up mirrors for him to smooch/canoodle? What Madonna song plays when he comes up to bat in opposing ballparks? The Sports Guy loves this.
3. Steinbrenner Death watch—too soon? The man is not well. Lets get some honest information out there. If Yankee stadium is partially funded by taxpayer dollars, accurate information about ballclub ownership seems reasonable.
What to watch for: Mets
1. David Wright—is it time yet for Derek Jeter to transfer his soul into wright’s body and live forever?
2. K-Rod/Putz—two years ago these were, arguably, two of the four best closers in baseball. Now, one is top dog and the other fetches the doughnuts. When does Poootz snap?
3. Citifield v. New Yankee Stadium—Citifield loses this argument, right? That seems apparent. Do Mets fans revolt?
What to watch for: Red Sox
1. Possible erosion—What if the Sox are secretly the “600-pounder” that Tavarez fears? The Sox made no substantive improvements on last year’s team. They chased new Yankee slugger Mark Teixeira all winter, and didn’t sign him. They no longer have Manny. The Tampa Ray Rays beat them last year. The Yankees bought a truckload of new talent. This could be the year the Sox fall apart.
2. Big Papi—he’s toast, isn’t he?
3. John Smoltz—Smoltz could be secret weapon. If he is old Smoltzie, then the Sox will be getting an all-star pitcher joining an already loaded staff mid-season. Its almost unfair.
*-click that link.
