Kanye West - Paranoid (feat. Mr. Hudson)

Rihanna writhing to Kanye West. Nuff said.

UPDATE: The above video is broke (F You Rihanna) so instead of scouring the nets to find more videos that'll ultimately be broken too, I've attached another Kanye video that no one will mess with because it's so bad no one cares.

Top 5 horrible things in this video:
1) This video is made by Hype Williams. Yes, the same Hype Williams who made basically all the music videos in the 90s. And they were awesome.
2) What's with the stupid glasses?
3) I'm pretty sure that's the Star Wars Millennium Falcon
4) I know we talked about recession jams but f*ck, this is the Dream and Kanye West. They poop more money than was put in this video. Too graphic? Sorry. This video looks cheap.
5) I only actually watched the first 1 min of the video and ctrl+tabbed over to start this blog post while I listen. It's better this way.

Hurray, you're an adult now

Some cultures believe that if you take a picture of someone, you've stolen his soul. My theory is that with each of the "grown up" items listed, your Essence slowly creeps out of your body, crawls under your cubicle, curls up and vanishes along with your Hopes and Dreams. Read on!

-A drape to cover the empty space between the bottom of the bed frame (wheels still attached) and the floor
-A Subaru
-A rug to "pull the room together"
-A (solo) ticket to the movie "He's Just Not That Into You" (Also would have accepted "One Week")
-Place mats
-A gel wrist pad (Bank Co. doesn't give a shit about your Carpal Tunnel)
-Hand towels to match your shower curtain
-Shortening
-Men: A cardigan
-Women: Cats

Please add your own in the comments

The Work Pillow

This beats sleeping on the anti-carpal-tunnel wrist pad. Or a stack of marked up pitchbooks. Or your bonus.

Best if used while under your desk.