Old Times Sake

Another day, another dollar. Apple's quarterly conference call today was as boring as every one I've heard since I led the company to resounding success back in '08 (especially considering Mr. Satija doesn't ever ask any questions during these sessions!). That is to say, another quarter and another set of record, best-ever results. Apple grossed over $20B this quarter, which was enough to prompt Steve Jobs presence during the phone call. Highlights below:

14.1 million iPhones (a record; outsold RIM; $8.8 billion; Apple's biggest money-maker)
>250,000 TVs (a dramatic increase/sign of things to come from this hobby?)
3.89 million Macs (a record quarter)
4.19 million iPads - yep, iPad now outsells Macintosh. Boom bitch.

Aside from the other technical data that would only interest me and those living in a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet, Jobs did make sure to issue stern warnings regarding iPhone, Android competition, and upcoming tablets.

On Android: The whole Android=Open, iPhone=Closed is a "smokescreen." It's not about open and closed. It's about functionality and quality products for the consumer. Open=Microsoft Windows. Functional=Apple. Fragmented=Android, with its >200 devices running various operating systems all pre-loaded with multiple App Stores from Google, Verizon, Amazon, and other OEMs. Different phones with different screen resolutions and varying operating systems confuse the consumer and disgruntle the developer who is forced to constantly redesign their app. iPhone = 1 OS, 1 phone, 1 time development and straightforward consumption.

On tablets: As pointed out by one analyst, Apple currently is the tablet market. How's that going to change with the upcoming Samsung Galaxy and Blackberry PlayBook tablets among others? Jobs response: "We've got a tiger by the tail here." Apple has a huge lead in the tablet market, including with a surprisingly high rate of enterprise adoption despite no attempt at enterprise marketing. Apple's got at least a year headstart and already carries a refined OS and gorgeous device. The secret? Vertical integration. Apple's A4 chip, proprietary battery technology, its own enclosure and Apple's iOS software. Other tablets coming to market will be similarly fragmented to Android phones. Worse still? A crappy user experience thanks to the widespread adoption of 7 inch screens rather than the iPads 9.7inch screen. Smaller screens = cheaper, but not better. A 7 inch screen isn't 70% of a 10inch screen. Screens are measured diagonally. These 7 inch tablets have 45% the screen real estate of the 9.7 inch iPad! You can't make good apps at this size and even if you could, your fingers aren't elegant enough to touch them. Jobs predicts 7 inch tablets last 1 year before they become 10 inch tabs, giving Apple yet another year's headstart. Upcoming tablets are "DOA." And besides, anyone "savvy" enough to buy a tablet probably has a smartphone, in which case don't compete with the product that already fits in your pocket. This is a tweener product, not a phone.

So the real excitement of the day is the continued success of the iPad. It's selling incredibly well, including outselling Macs. In fact, if Apple counted the iPad as a computer, Apple would be the largest computer manufacturer in the United States. Wow.
Best part? More to come on Wednesday as Apple holds its "Back to the Mac" show and tell. A new lighter, smaller, finally more powerful MacBookAir (tune in later to find out why this will be my next computer) and updates to a variety of Mac software are on the schedule. Oh, and that whole Verizon iPhone thing is finally happening. Not Wednesday but within a few months. And it's for realzies this time.