Facebook Friday

Popularity
Dan C. is in the top 10% of pathetic cool people on Facebook.

Dan, your statistic is extremely misleading. Please divide by ten and drop the “cool.” Thanks.

Achievement / Self-Congratulation
Beth H. just solved the NYTimes Sunday crossword puzzle in 13:23. Nice.

Beth, let me get this straight: You completed a New York Times crossword puzzle. And not just any crossword puzzle, but the iconic Sunday puzzle which is larger and more challenging than most. Not only that, but you did it so fast that you actually recorded your time - down to the exact second. On behalf of the entire Facebook community, let me be the first to say: No One Gives a Shit.

Story Telling
Alissa M. just heard a man on the train screaming at his wife saying "I am calling the lawyer- move the fu*k out of the house by the time I get home!" - classic! :)

Ian G.
hahaha, you can't make that shit up!

Ian, this morning I heard a man on the C Train screaming at his right foot saying, “Give me my money back or I will fu*king kill you!” He was dressed in bubble wrap and pizza boxes.

Talent
Jenn F. wrote on David H.’s Wall.
I have to officially thank you for bringing such talent out with us on Friday night..I dont know where you have been hiding these men but they were all full of life and easy...

Jenn, believe it or not David has been hiding all these bachelors in my small one-bedroom apartment. Next time you are wasted and looking for a piece, please swing by.

Confusion
LeAnne C. is buggered.

LeAnne, I’m pretty sure that’s not the word you were looking for. Then again, I could be wrong.

Effeminacy
Sarah S. is quite the girl-lady

Sarah, I believe it was Bill Lumbergh who said, “Ooh. Yeah, um, I'm gonna have to go ahead and sort of disagree with you there.”

Employment
Jason W. is trying to figure the best way to make his resume?

Jason, are you asking us? Or, are you telling us… that your job prospects aren’t very good.

Facebook Friday

Confusion

Dereck O. is confused.

James T. 

Oh no how come??

Dereck O. 

People are the hardest things to figure out. :-)
James T. 

oh HELLLLL YEAH I hear ya on that one! well I hope you figure it out :)

Dereck, while people can be difficult to comprehend, I believe there are in fact harder things to figure out. For example, why you are friends with James T.?

Anthony C. is "Lost" so confused i don't get it.... what is the hatch, the orchard, dharma?????? some body please bring some clarity!

Anthony, perhaps you should try watching the show from the beginning of Season 1. Your approach, which is the equivalent of opening a novel for the first time, reading page 327, then complaining because nothing makes sense, will not get you far in life. 

Food

Matt M. is eating squeaky cheese curds

Sarah K. — macaroni. 

Matt and Sarah, no one cares what you are eating - even if it contains cheese. Please, stop abusing your Status Update feature and find an alternative way to fulfill your desperate need for attention.

Flirting

Matt S. is Killers concert tonight! 
Brian M.
I'm jealous
Matt S.
I'm Mr. Brightside

Matt and Brian, what the heck is going on here? Maybe Dereck O. was right.