No plans for Halloween yet? I mean, besides eating that bag of Hershey's, Mr. Goodbar and Krackel all by yourself? Then swing by ours. Makens, who wrote this invitation but was too lazy to post it, demands it.
The Gin Mill
81st and Amsterdam
Saturday, October 31, 10:30PM
(This is a pic from our famous 2005 Halloween Bash. If you look closely, you can see the two random guys who both dressed as Slash. Hours later they were air guitaring on our couches and having an awesome time. And see that girl with the green headband? She broke our toilet tank, cut her hand on the porcelain and smeared gallons of blood all over our bathroom mirror and wall. Rage!)
Octomom had 8 kids. Lady Gaga hit the scene. Jon and Kate got a divorce. Sarah Palin still exists. Michael Jackson met a tragic demise. Kanye got drunk. Britney made a comeback. Vampires became trendy. One word: Bruno.
So, what does this mean? A phenomenal year for pop culture and an even better year for Halloween. It’s as if we’ve been given a gift from the costume gods. And when a stellar Halloween costume can be devised simply by turning on your TV, watching for 8-10 minutes and dressing as the first outrageous thing you see, then you pretty much have no excuse not to come to our party.
To make it even easier, here is a simple checklist to make attending our party even easier for you:
- Devise topical, if not mildly offensive, costume (see above for inspiration). Create shoddy interpretation using items from Modell’s, KMart and thrift stores.
- Withdraw $45 from an Automated Teller Machine. Put this in your wallet for safe-keeping as it will cover all of your beer and liquor expenses for the evening.
- On day of party (Saturday, October 31st, for those of you who live with the Pennsylvania Amish), take a cab to the Gin Mill on Amsterdam and 81st. Think to yourself what an upgrade the bar is from Jake’s.
- Arrive at party. Assess crowd for morally casual women. Make fun of Hogan for dressing as the Banana Man for the second year in a row.
- Drink beer. Play beirut. [Get swine flu.] Have an awesome time.
