After the jump, an actual PR intern's letter received by fellow industry insider, Tastemaker's Partner in Crime.* Because my soul takes 24 hours to regrow, and this is that special combination of stupidity and ego that has the potential to go H1N1 (i.e.g. viral)
*We'll be starting our own fashion blog eventually. It will be completely black-on-black and not use vowels—very avant-garde.
Names—and only names, honest to God—changed to protect the
[note from TPIC:
"i did a word count:
From: Rita
Date: September 16, 2009
To:
Subject: CAN YOU PLEASE HELP AN INTERN OUT?
Hi!
I’m, Rita, one of the interns over here at Upgrayedd, a hip new shopping site on the web that combines entertaining blogs, characters and great shopping. I’m hoping you can help me out. I didn’t hear from you yet so I’m following up on the nifty electronic press kit that I sent early last week. I don’t mean to be pesty because I KNOW you’re busy, but here’s the scoop: unlike other internships, we get A LOT of responsibility over here at Upgrayedd and it’s my duty to make sure I get some responses to our press kit and hopefully some great press.
If all of us interns can hook up enough buzz and Upgrayyed takes off, I’ll get a full time job WITH benefits. Please help me say goodbye to internships FOREVER and say hello to the world of working professionals! Can you help me out and offer to do some press for Upgrayedd, or at least make me look good in front of my boss by responding? I’d really appreciate it. My original letter is below and I attached the EPK as well. Looking forward to your response!
Dear TPIC,My name is Rita and I’m one of the interns over here at Upgrayedd. I’m not one to brag, but hey, Upgrayedd is run pretty much by us (there’s nine of us and counting!) and I have to say it’s the hippest and most unique shopping site on the web!
I’m writing to personally introduce ourselves to you. I know you’re super busy, but if you could just take a moment to breeze through our electronic press kit you will find that not only does Upgrayedd have handpicked products at terrific prices, but we are the only website (that we are aware of) that includes coupons and a fun interactive world. It’s a one stop shop combining great deals in an entertaining format.
Please drop me an email or call my boss Satan to chat and learn more about us. We’ve got a great back story and we’re a neat site. We have been a fan of you for quite sometime and we’re hoping after you take a stroll around our site and look through our press kit, that you will be a fan of ours too!
We look forward to hearing from you.
Swagly yours,
-- Rita
PR Intern Manager
www.website.com
www.websitesblog.com
www.twitter.com/websitestwitter
www.anotherfuckingwebsite.com
www.websites' interns' blogs (wait, really?).com
There was also an attached PowerPoint presentation (needless to say, a travesty). I would post screen shots, and I'm even tempted to link to the sites themselves for your amusement and my well-developed sense of schadenfreude. But the reasons behind my restraint are three:
1. It would be wrong.
2. They don't deserve the traffic.
3. I'm supposed to be posting about things in good taste (I think? Anyone?
This post is fashionably late.
