Ted Turner fixes the world, is an idiot

Some key quotes (Thanks to NYTimes and 23/6)

Abortion: “Overturning Roe v. Wade will create a baby glut, and soon those babies will realize they’ve got the numbers on their side and they’ll form a Baby Army. Where will your Pope be then?”
Economy: “We need to stop bailing out the big banks. Bail out the guy who just got his couch repo’d by Rent-A Center. Americans need a place to sit, dammit.”
The Democratic candidates: “Drive ‘em both out into the woods and leave ‘em there to fend for themselves. Out there in the middle of nature with nothing but their wits and teamwork keeping them alive, they’re bound to fall in love.”
Education: “Please. Everything a child needs to know he can learn in a six-minute knife fight. Slash and jab, urchins.”
Health care: “Antidotes. It all comes down to having the antidote to the poison you just ingested within reach. I am not speaking metaphorically. Stop hiding our nation’s antidotes in the decorative castles at the bottom of fishtanks. There’s no time!”
Immigration: “Pssh. We already blew it when we let the Italians in. It’s been general admission seating ever since.”
North Korea: “Schmorth Schmorea!”