A video with no naked A&F models in it

I know i'm not supposed to like this video. Its got Nelly in it, it takes place in an airport, and its just plain stupid. But I like it. A lot. Want to fight?

Sorry Karl

Looks like '04 Josh Pence is topping my list of favorite good looking guys I know. Not only is he ridiculously good looking, he is also friends with Best-In-Show, Tim Riggins (Sorry Rig, dont know your real name)

Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose

Did you love American Gladiators as much as I did when you were a kid? If so, you're in for a treat. Thankfully, they have brought the show back and honestly, not much has changed besides the gladiators. The new ones are pretty awesome and the events are almost exactly the same as the old ones. The sets are even s cheesy as the old ones.

If you dont put this into the rotation with FNL, I'm gonna come after you like Wolf in the Gauntlet - and no one wants that

This would have worked for Saracen

Radar reports:

"Scene: A crowded loft on Manhattan's Lower East Side. It is approximately 2:00 a.m...In walks Entourage star Adrian Grenier, the only famous face in an otherwise nondescript crowd of 20-somethings. Surveying the scene, his eye fixes upon a pretty brunette standing near a couch, on which a Radar reporter happens to be sitting...

Adrian: Hi, what's your name?

Brunette: [Giggling. It is obvious she knows who he is; she is flattered that he has approached her] Elizabeth. What's yours?

Adrian: Adrian.

Brunette: Nice to meet you! And what do you do, Adrian?

Adrian: I make documentary films.

Brunette: Oh really?

Adrian: Yeah. And some other stuff on the side. What about you?

Brunette: I'm in fashion.

Adrian: That's cool. So how about we go home and I fuck the shit out of you?

Brunette: No thanks."

-Idontlikeyouinthatway.com

Top 5 Reasons Diddy should hire me

My job rules, clearly. But eventually I'll have to start looking for a new one. I heard that P Diddy is hiring. P Diddy likes hot chicks and sharply dressed black men. I am neither of these. However, over the past year Ive learned many invaluable lessons that my man Puff could definitely use. Here are just five:

1) I love to work hard, even if what I do adds hardly any significant value to society

2) I can take the fall for pretty much anything, regardless of whether it was my fault

3) I take ideas from other sources, then turn them into my own*

4) I love models and bottles

5) I hold a mean umbrella

"IT'S MURDER!!"

1:48pm: My boss just walked in with two duffel bags full of meat.

"Couldn't fit it all back at the apartment."

Unicorns in NYC

Unicorn \U"ni*corn\, n. [OE. unicorne, F. unicorne, L. unicornis one-horned, having a single horn; unus one + cornu a horn; cf. L. unicornuus a unicorn. See One, and Horn.]

1. A fabulous animal with one horn; the monoceros; -- often represented in heraldry as a supporter.

2. That extremely attractive person on the block, at the office or in the local porn shop whom you keep running into but dont know his / her name or what her deal is. He / she tends to occupy the next 10^n minutes of thought, n being the number of occurences. Frequent thoughts include (but are not limited to):

a) Is this fate?
b) Does he / she remember seeing me too?
c) Would it be weird if I asked him / her out?
d) What advice would Coach T give me if he were here / real?
e) How much is this nipple clamp?

FNL Character Rankings

Meant to post these over break but never get around to it. The couple of work days before flying back to Colorado, I had a mindless hours-killing task at work that allowed me to start afresh with season 1 (netflix ondemand, thank YOU), then my sister and I knocked off the rest of seasons 1 and 2 over Christmas. All in all, very impressive. More in depth thoughts after...

... a brief SPOILER alert!
















Okay. One thing my sister consistently pointed out after each episode is how quickly impressions of different characters change as various plot lines progress. Riggins bangs Lyla then takes Street to Mexico and saves his life. Lyla is a hottie cheerleader, super distraught after breaking up with Street but then she's annoyingly rebaptized. Landry is pretty annoying tag-a-long before he grows some balls and goes for Tyra (oh, and pipes a rapist). Obviously we could go on, but I think it'd be more productive to lay down some rankings as of "The Confession", some 30 episodes in, then go from there. So...

Major:

Landry - The cops are not pressing charges, despite his best efforts. Hopefully the Tyra/Landry plotline calms down for a bit. I am a bit worried the whole ‘papa cop destroying evidence’ thing is going to come back and bite them eventually. For now, though, I think Landry’s only real role will be hooking up with Tyra -- not a bad gig.

Coach Taylor – … is the tits. Seriously. The tits. One reason I panned the show at first was Eric Chandler. Early Edition on CBS seemed like a weak show, and even though he got his ass blown up (PINKMIST!) in Grey’s, I was not sold. I am now. As for Coach, I think this AD position will be good for a ton of laughs, especially once they bring the batshit soccer coach back.

Saracen – Also the tits. Nabbing you grandmother’s nurse? Well done. Julie will not be pleased to hear that one.

Tyra – Probably should be higher, but this good thing she’s got going with Landry has me a little uneasy. She comes from a fucked up family, and I’m worried she can’t handle happiness and will do something dumb (bang Riggins?) to fuck this up. That would be miserable.

Riggins - Great little speech to get back on the team.

Street – Think he can do better than that waitress, but moving in with Herc is a good call.

Smash - “Cabo in my pants.”

Julie – The Swede? Come on…

Tami – Meh.

Lyla - B-side Megan Fox (aka A-side future Mrs. Hanson) needs to get her act together.

Looking at that list, I notice most of the key women are at the bottom. I hope that changes after tonight's episode. Also considering ranking the minor characters (Carlotta, Santiago, Grandma Saracen, et al.) but we'll see how boring work gets this afternoon. Clear eyes, full hearts can't lose.

Lost and found

LOST: Red ipod nano
FOUND: My (now defunct) iphone in a toilet

LOST: Ability to play Guitar Hero 3 CD
FOUND: TV that now switches to picture in picture whenever the channel changes

LOST: Interest in mopping day-old porch crawlers and wet pretzels
FOUND: Curious substances and remnants of unsavory activities in bathrooms and dark corners

LOST: Desire to have a banger again
FOUND: Knowledge that the UWS doesn't want us to either (see below)

Happy new year shitkickers

Found this on the apartment main door this morning (all caps):

"You and your little shitkicker friends kept me and my family, along with others who live out back, awake all night with your overly loud yelling and bottle throwing.

Let me make something very clear: I don't respond to stuff like that lightly so here is a couple of sleepless nights for you, assholes. I know who you are and where you live and we both know that one day soon I will run into you on this block and then you and I will have a little conversation and if you like a little more! So we can make sure that you will behave in the future. This is not a college dorm and I don't give a shit about new years or anything like that. This is a neighborhood of grown ups so get with it, buster. And, not only that, next time I will call the cops, and they will come believe me and it wont be pleasant.


So let this be a warning. I'll see you on the street one day, shitkicker.

A neighbor"