Red Band Trailer: Cop Out
Tracy being Tracy. NSFW for language, (hilarious) child abuse, and (shittily-acting) Stifler.
Friday Five
I'm a pretty tidy person, but the desk in my cubicle is a huge mess; it's a bitch to clean up scratch-off ticket shavings.
I figure that if I smoke pot every day from here out there are only two possible outcomes. Either I will be unlucky and become a penniless deadbeat, or I’ll be lucky and become Demetri Martin.
Where are all the gentleman bugs?
If you use the term “market penetration” in a PowerPoint presentation, do me a favor and save it for the last slide. My capacity to suppress giggles has increased only nominally with age.
I’ve spent all week trying to like Radiohead. I’ve listened to every album, pored over articles that extol their novel sound, and grown accustomed to the reply “of course I like Radiohead;” but I can’t do it.
You don’t suck, Radiohead. I suck.
Random Thoughts
As you grow wiser with age, you begin to understand that in life, most things take longer than you expect. From projects at work to chores around the house, this holds true for virtually everything, except maybe sex – that seems to take just a couple minutes no matter what.On W. 72nd street there’s a café called the Aroma Espresso Bar. Inside its lavatory hangs a sign, directly above the toilet, that reads: “Throw All Paper In The Trash.” I thought that was kinda funny, until I saw the trashcan in the corner, overflowing with soiled toilet paper.
I recently read that a Michigan-based company patented the SarcMark, a new symbol used to express sarcasm in writing. Fortunately, this indispensable product only costs $1.99 to download – an absolute bargain compared to the astronomical price of standard punctuation.
I wish people applying to business school realized that if you get a 700 or higher on the GMAT and someone asks you how the test went, instead of saying your actual score followed by ”but I’m taking them again,” you can just say, “I did well, thanks.”
Kids are so impressionable. Take my little nephew, for example. We were at the beach and we came upon a gigantic horseshoe crab that had washed ashore. He picked it up and asked, “Is this from outer space?” “No,” I responded, trying not to laugh. “That’s just a crab. You’re thinking of a jellyfish.”
Jam of the Week: Lil Wayne, Eminem & Drake - "Drop The World" & "Forever" @Grammy's
I don't care how big you get - if you have a multi-platinum-earning, playboy-banging, plane-crash survivor playing back-up drums while the highest grossing rapper and the guy who coined "bling bling" act as hype men, you've got to be pretty psyched. That's what Drake was dealing with. Oh, may I remind you that he's yet to put out a real album? Baller status, check.
Apparently the Grammy's bleeped the sh!+ out of this performance, so the clip above, while spliced with a few naughty words, is relatively harmless. Apparently the guy got trigger happy with the bleep button. Thankfully, the good people in Europe weren't as concerned.
Runners up after the jump...
Apple vs. Google: Fight!
Lots of nerdy tech news continuing this week. Apple and Google have had quite the history of late with Google CEO Eric Schmidt stepping down from the Apple board; Google entering the appPhone business with the Nexus One; and today's announcement of Apple's patented multi-touch technology (read: pinch-to-zoom) coming to the Nexus One and soon to Droid et al. Oh ya, Apple also released that iPad thang last week and Steve Jobs was rumored to say Google's Don't be evil mantra is "bullshit... They want to kill the iPhone and we won't let them." So even in sunny California where MLRs chillin' and casual mock turtlenecks, relaxed-fit jeans and Maine-made New Balances are the rule, a battles-a-brewin'.
In every breakup, you've got to choose sides. So given my illustrious history at Apple and my blatant Apple fanboy-ism (you really think Stephen Colbert got an iPad before I did?), here's what I'm going to do about this whole catastrophe:
Eliminate gOOg-lay (sounds lamer in French, no?) from my life*.
1. So-long google searches. Hello Yahoo. (I'm not ready for Bing)
2. You may now email me at m*****@dartmouth.edu
3. My instant messaging AOL screen name is Skiaholic#
4. For my online photos please refer to Facebook
5. You may now find me by following these MAPQUEST directions.
*My post frequency on this google-sponsored blog has already decreased dramatically (to the cheers of some!); it won't be hard to kiss it goodbye completely.
Nerd Alert!
Paleontology goes mobile... finally! There has to be a creative cheesy catch phrase for this announcement, right? Something like "Enabling dinosaurs to roam the Earth once again!"
Apparently ANHM will be making iPhone apps covering most of their collections- sadly, it's probably the best way to get kiddos interested in natural history & science... Oh how things have changed!
Apparently ANHM will be making iPhone apps covering most of their collections- sadly, it's probably the best way to get kiddos interested in natural history & science... Oh how things have changed!
Game Day Grub: Hot Subs Two Ways
The last time I knew what was going on in professional football, Troy Aikman and Emmitt Smith were killing it for the cowboys and I was watching the Superbowl in Airwalks.
In terms of this coming Sunday, I know the following: the Manning brother that’s not from Hoboken is playing against Kim Kardashian's boyfriend and I should turn to Animal Planet at halftime for the most amazing puppy display I will ever witness.
My lack of knowledge does nothing to diminish my enthusiasm though... Football food is the best! The Superbowl is usually primetime to be a big fatty but this year I'm going to share some delicious dishes that only taste unhealthy. Here are two easy hot sandwich recipes that skip on the grease and are also delicious served without bread as a hearty entree...
Rachel Ray's Buffalo Sloppy Joe's
-Makes 4 big servings
Serve on a roll or baguette for an amazing sandwich or just in a bowl as a hearty stew.
-2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
-1 pound ground chicken or turkey breast
-1 carrot, peeled and chopped or grated
-2 stalks celery, chopped
-1 yellow onion, finely chopped
-2 to 3 cloves garlic, finely chopped or grated
-Salt and freshly ground black pepper
-2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
-2 tablespoons brown sugar (I used 1 tablespoon of a brown sugar/splenda blend)
-1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
-1/4 cup Frank's Red Hot sauce
-1 cup tomato sauce
-1 cup chicken broth
-Burger rolls, split and toasted (optional)
Directions
-Heat a large skillet with extra-virgin olive oil over medium-high heat.
-Add meat and break it up into little chunks with wooden spoon, cook 5 to 6 minutes.
-Add in carrots, celery, onions and garlic, season with salt and freshly ground black pepper, cook 7 to 8 minutes more.
-In a bowl combine the vinegar, sugar, Worcestershire, hot sauce, tomato sauce and stock. Pour into the pan and stir to combine.
-Simmer a few minutes more. Pile sloppy Buffalo filling onto buns and top with blue cheese or a little of the below ranch sauce.
Optional side sauce - cools down the spicy.
-1 cup fat free plain Greek yogurt
-1 half packet ranch dressing seasoning powder.
- Mix together and serve a little dollop on your Jo.
My Sausage and Peppers
-Serve on a roll or baguette for an amazing sandwich or just in a bowl as a hearty stew.
-4 sweet Italian turkey sausage
-1 large (28 ounce) can whole peeled tomatoes
-1 onion - chopped into thin slices
-2 red bell peppers – chopped into thin slices
-2 cloves garlic – chopped finely
-Italian seasoning
-1 bay leaf (located near seasonings)
-Put large pan over medium- high heat
-Spray with Pam
-Cook sausage for a few minutes until browner on all sides- take off and put on plate
- auté the onions, peppers and garlic for 10 mins sprinkle on some salt
-While veggies are cooking, cut the Sausages up into little bite size pieces
-Throw sausages back in pot and add canned tomatoes and juice
-Sprinkle 2 teaspoons salt, 1 tablespoon Italian seasoning and mix everything up
-Sauté for 20 minutes, taste and add more salt to taste.
Everybody Gets Linked!
Dartmouth '06(?) Pat Biggs has officially qualified for the Canadian Olympic team.
Apple dropped 3G VOIP restrictions, allowing Skype and other similar services to work without the need for Wi-Fi
Everyone's batted out of their league at least once. They made a movie out of it and a Red Band trailer out of that.
Razzie Nominations are out: Ben Affleck definitely doesn't know how to pick 'em.
Probably not, but worth a try
