Smoke-Worthy Moments in Mad Men: Episode 313

Chuck Norris' tears (and my mustache) cure cancer. Don Draper's tears save seasons

It's undeniable that this season's finale one of the most exciting and satisfying episodes of Mad Men we've seen yet. So much so that it's pulling me out of the bullpen and forcing me to write about MM once again. I've gobbled up as much recapping as I can handle on the tubes and linked to most of it below. I'll try to put my own spin on it here.

Top Moments of Mad Men Episode 313: Shut The Door. Have A Seat.

Don Versus

If Don Draper was a Mike Tyson's Punch Out character, he'd have unlimited stars. He wouldn't need to train by running by the waterfront or have Mac trail him on a bike or pat him on the back when he's feeling glum. He doesn't need to duck or dodge. Don Draper is Muhammed Ali. He is Rocky fighting Mr. T. Don Draper is the master of the rope-a-dope. Don Draper sits back for 10 episodes getting the shit kicked out of him (or so you think) and just when you think he's down? Boom! He's up and swinging. Tale of the tape below:

Don vs. Connie
The interaction between Don and Connie was the first big scene of the finale and arguably the most important. Don has been a whimpering baby for a bunch of episodes now, feeling bad for himself and falling short on a lot of things - basically un-Don-like. By asking if he "was one of those people" who cry about what's owed to them, Connie wakes Draper from his self-pitying slumber and puts the SCDP wheels in motion. Don may have lost his father-figure and his top account, but the experience he had with Connie led him to some important realizations. Still, Connie has been (and hopefully will continue to be) Don's superior and isn't afraid to knock him down a peg or two when Don gets out of line.
Winner: Connie (KO)

Archie vs. Dick/Don
Don Draper has been haunted by the goast of Archibald "Dad" Whitman all season. From flashbacks in his kitchen to late-night / red-pill induced visits, Don's been reminded of how his shitty father has abused him and his family for as long as Archie lived. Then came the latest flashback, with Archibald being his asshole self, but this time for the good of his family. Slate editors apparently hate flashbacks, (keep it in mind next time you make a critically acclaimed, Emmy winning drama), but they also apparently sympathized with Archie on this one. To paraphrase, Slate and others believe that the flashback was meant to show Don's father in a way that was worth imitating; don't give up on something you believe in or else you'll get kicked in the face by your horse and die. Something like that. To me, this felt much more like a Pete Campbell move: despite all intentions of being a stubborn arrogant SOB, Archie was doing what was right. And while I agree that the dream sequence was part of what encouraged Don to stand up for himself like his late father did, he transcended the inherited stubbornness by realizing that he'll need help if he wants to succeed. Where Archie rebuked a co-op, Don embraced it, marching right into Bert's office in order to build the rest of the Magnificent Seven.
Winner: Dick/Don (KO)

Dick vs. Don
Part of the reason Don's been getting kicked around is that he's been exposing himself more (Relax Sal) and showing more Dick (I said RELAX). What we're seeing in Don assembling his crew is that Don's not going to get anywhere without a little Whitman in him. This means opening himself up and showing that he truly does value people. I was a little taken aback at how quickly the transition from apathetic drifter to full-on ad-man came ("So you want to be in advertising after all") and with that, the honesty and heart-felt concessions to Roger, Pete and Peggy. But to be honest, the first few pitches only feel half-hearted. That is, until Roger breaks the news to Don about Henry Francis, sealing the deal that Don and Betty's marriage really is over. Raw and beaten down, someone new arises the next morning (Note to self: calling wife a whore is cathartic) - a Dick/Don hybrid that is focused but with the added emotion of a man who's invested in his own life again. And we see it when going back to Peggy, being as open as we've ever seen him: "Something happened, something terrible...and no one understands. But you do." The first layer is the change the times signaled by the Kennedy assassination and that Peggy knows how to read between the cultural lines and pull from the ether the perfect ad slogan. But the more interesting facet is the shared tribulations of Peggy and Don. Don knows that Peggy understands what it's like to go through "something terrible." Peggy, being the smart girl she is, realizes Don is revealing his new side to her. And being the vulnerable girl she is ("You won't talk to me ever again"), wants to feel needed (Enter pitch: "I'll spend the rest of my life trying to hire you"). It's this new Dick/Don combination that later offers both the conciliatory and cutting remark to Betty before her trip to Reno: "I hope that you get everything you want."
Winner: Tie

Don vs. Betty
Don: "You mainline brat" "I was never good enough for you"
More than anything, to me, this is what turned Don into the Dick/Don hybrid I spoke of above. When Betty retorts by saying, "That's right," we all know that Don is getting what he signed up for: a narcissistic woman-child; a real-life Barbie doll with the maturity level and attention span of it's intended target audience. As an aside: this is also the scene that makes me think Jon Hamm is indeed deserving of an Emmy. In less than a minute on screen he manages to be angry, visibly drunk (for once), scared and scary all at once. I also find this sad, not because I wanted them to last (Scos and WOHJR get along better), but because I was hoping Betty was going to transcend her childishness. Sure, the divorce was the right move for her and yes, she was showing some guts by being assertive and not taking Don's condescending advice to see a doctor ("a good one this time"). But running into Henry Francis' arms? C'mon. Don was right - she was jumping from one life raft to another. And from the last shot of her on the plane with Gene Jr. and Mr. Fainting Couch, I think she knows it too.
Winner: Don (Unanimous decision)

Survivor: Sterling Cooper Edition

How's everyone feel about the Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce pickups? Here's my breakdown, in order of assembly:

Bert: Something makes me think Bert won't live through season 4. He's pretty old and also pretty ineffective. Don't get me wrong, he's a great plot device and every scene he's in is great, but I'd be surprised he survives, both in SCDP as well as on the show.
Roger: "Ugh, I'm tired. Peggy, can you get me some coffee?" What other character on Mad Men consistently delivers the greatest one liners, the funniest looks and now, one of the most surprisingly interesting backstories? If you say Harry, I'll lock you in the broom closet.
Pryce: "Very good, Happy Christmas!" - Lane Pryce offers a great counter-balance to the other three partners. I've been silently rooting for him ever since we saw early on how he's been pushed around by his tight-assed bosses across the pond. I just hope in Season 4 Captain Mike will finally stand up to his wife.
Peggy: Though somewhat predictable, Peggy has shown the kind of balls we all expected the secretary with the ankles that can sing to have. Not only is she standing up to Don, but she's getting laid on a regular basis and occasionally smoking drugs. Plus, Vulture or Slate or someone said that the Duck x Peggy storyline isn't dead and I agree - I can't wait to see Don explode when he finds out his mentor is sleeping with his biggest professional enemy.
Pete: Pete's been a favorite character of mine for most of the season, largely due to his unexpected transformation. If I didn't know better, I'd expect Weiner and co. to keep Pete as the show's antagonist, constantly trying to weasel his way to the top with no respect for his coworkers. I don't think that competitiveness will ever die, but it was nice to see Don recognize what we all liked about Pete this year - that he's been constantly ahead of the curve. Plus, more Pete = more Trudy ("Peter, can I see you for a minute?!") Campbell and their strangely rejuvenated marriage. Here's to more scenes with the Chip & Dip.
Harry: TV's that important. How else can they stand to keep him around? Harry's not interesting either as a character or as an employee. I liked him better when he was opening Ken's mail and walking around the office with only his boxers on. Here's hoping for some more interesting plot lines for Harry next season.
Joan: JOAN! Did anyone yell her name when someone complained about not knowing where any of the files were? Also one of my favorite understatements of the episode: "Joan, what a good idea."
Those voted off: Kenny and his haircut were more of a charicature than a real character. If you counted up his time on screen since the pilot, I don't think it'd be more than 3 minutes. Kinsey's been phased out and it's another "meh." I'll miss Sal and was secretely hoping he was sleeping in the Art Department when Don kicked down the door. I have a feeling he'll be back. I'm going to miss Hilde constantly giving Pete shit. But I think you can all guess where I'm going with this: LOIS!. Will SCDP @ The Pierre need a switchboard operator slash grass cutter?

The Single Guy

Unless Betty has a sudden change of heart (please don't do this off camera Weiner), here are my predictions for who Don may hook back up with and the odds associated with them:

Midge: The East Village is SO first year out of college season. While she was a good compliment to Don, it's hard to imagine her being brought back. 10:1
Rachel: Dating a successful single Jewish woman? How progressive of Don. Pretty possible and in my mind, hopeful. That said, she's on SOA now and seems pretty locked in there. Either way I get my fill of Maggie Siff 5:1
Bobbie Bartlett: Besides the great fingerbang scene, I don't think many people cared about this vignette. I'll be happy if she doesn't come back and I think I'll be ok. 20:1
Stewardess: I know it's a long shot, I just like thinking about her. 100:1
Ms. Farrell: I hate this bitch so much but I have a sneaking suspicion that since she didn't off herself in the last few episodes (would have been darkly humorous if she pulled her own trigger on the same day Kennedy was shot), I bet either her, her brother or both will be back next season 4:1
Peggy: Why not? Oh, right, she's unattractive. 7:1
Betty: An affair with your soon to be ex-wife? Sounds steamy. Plus he can't just drop a banging bod the mother of his children so quickly 3:1

It was good for me, was it good for you?

Sources:
Alan Sepinwall
Interview w/ Weiner
Behind the scenes on the finale
Vulture's Logan
The Surf's Emily Nussbaum
Vulture: Logan x Emily IM conversation
Slate 1, 2, 3, 4, 5