Random Thoughts

If you’ve fallen on hard economic times, sometimes it’s best to take a step back and take stock of all the things you do have – the things that really matter in life. And maybe, if you’re lucky, you can sell those things to other people, to make some money.

Instead of “widgets,” maybe economics professors should choose “pornography” as the product that their hypothetical business makes. Not only is it easier to conceptualize, but shouldn’t we be giving the consumer what he wants?

I think someone should invent sheets that you only have to wash once a year. That way, if you ever convince someone to spend the night in your bed – like someone you're not related to – and they ask why the sheets are covered in stains and crumbs and hair, you can just say, "Because these are the kind of sheets that you only have to wash once a year."

Sometimes, when my roommates and I have people over, a few guests actually lock the door when they use our bathroom. I find that so obnoxious. I mean, just because I’m going to press my ear against the door doesn’t mean I'm going to try and open it.

It can be really awkward running into an ex on the street. Not because the two of you shared some so many memories together and now you barely talk, but because the two of you used to wrap your mouths around each other’s genitalia.