Roofie Yourself

5 years ago in college years far far away I was on my winter off term from Dartmouth, working in NYC. With new snow on the ground, I planned a ski weekend at my dad's house in northwest Connecticut with my boyfriend of a couple months. After an icy day of east coast skiing, I was delighted when we came back to the house and my date offered to cook me dinner. He made spaghetti with a tasty and hearty turkey Bolognese sauce - simple yet perfectly seasoned. We poured some red wine and dug into the pasta.

After only a few bites and sips I was instantly relaxed and pretty impressed with the chef. This was a perfect meal after a day of skiing. One glass of wine and a half bowl of pasta later I was out. Totally passed out, asleep, in my chair, at the table.

Seinfeld does not lie my friends. I had experienced first hand how certain combinations of turkey and red wine can create a potent narcotic bringing on instantaneous sleep. While I am certain his intentions were not to drug me, any other plans my date had in mind were replaced by watching TV solo as I slept soundly in my chair for the next 4 hours.

So now I pass on this delicious and simple beef-free Bolognese to you with a caveat... unless you are having trouble sleeping do not consume while drinking red wine, especially after a day of skiing.

Turkey Bolognese
-courtesy of NC

This makes about 4-5 servings --- but you can keep it frozen for months and reheat whenever you want to cook up some pasta.

- 2 16-ounce cans diced tomatoes
- 1 large onion – diced
- 2 cloves of garlic – finely chopped
- 1 lb of ground turkey
- 2 Bay leaves
- 3 tablespoons Italian seasoning
- 2 tablespoons olive oil
- 1 lb pasta – Fusilli works nicely
- Salt and pepper

- Put a large pot or pan over medium heat and pour in the olive oil to coat the pan.
- Toss in the garlic and sauté for 2 minutes.
- Add in the chopped onion and sauté about 5 minutes until slightly golden.
- Add the meat (breaking it into pieces)
- Sauté everything until the meat is no longer pink.
- Add the two cans of the diced tomatoes (do not drain liquid) and then fill one empty can with water and add that in too.
- Add 3 tablespoons of Italian seasoning, 2 bay leaves, 2 ½ teaspoons of salt and 1 teaspoon of pepper --- Stir everything together.
- Let simmer partially covered 30-40 minutes, stirring occasionally.

- Cook pasta while sauce is simmering – serve pasta with a hearty portion of sauce.
ENJOY!