Moo Shoo by Mugatu

I went into Ricky’s on Sunday with the hopes of finding some Halloween inspiration but left empty handed. Basically, if you want to buy a packaged costume there are no options for ladies between 10 and 50 besides the “sexy” version of anything. I was momentarily psyched when my fiancée found male and female ghost buster costumes but then realized the girl version was a shorty playsuit with a plunging neckline that would be better suited for a character from “Ball Busters”, “Sperm Busters” or any more imaginatively named Ghost Busters based porno*. While I won’t judge the wearers of the sexy Halloween garb, I’ve always been more of put-it-together-yourself kind of costume wearer. So while working this Saturday is keeping me from committing to a huge DIY effort this year, here is a list of my top 3 best costumes to help you all think out side of the box.

3. The Energizer Bunny (age 10) - One pink sweatsuit, one pair of bunny ears and one large homemade cardboard battery/drum = priceless and delightfully comfortable.

2. Derelict (age 19) – One Keystone Light box tube top, 1 garbage bag skirt, multiple trash accessories, dirty looking makeup and a band of similarly dressed rowdy girl friends = running around campus yelling things like Derelicte my balls and eventual blackout.

and, drum roll please…
1. A Tea bag (age 8) - No, stop right now and get rid of those dirty thoughts! I was an actual Lipton’s tea bag. With 2 clear large garbage bags filled with dried fall leaves slung over the front and back of my body, a tea cozy on my head with a string coming out of the top of it attached to a cardboard sign that said “Lipton – the brisk tea” I was all set.
Thanks Mom.

But if time is eluding you and the sexy packaged costume is your only option than continue reading for a light and tasty meal that will fill you up while still letting you squeeze into those sexy Home Depot employee shorty shorts.


Moo Shoo Lettuce Wraps
adapted from the fresh direct Moo Shoo recipe

1 large Portobello mushroom
1 green cabbage
3 carrots – peeled
3 scallions
1 Red bell pepper
2 large chicken breasts
Boston bibb lettuce (or other wide leaf lettuce)
Hoisin Sauce
Soy Sauce

-Put a large pan or wok (does anyone have a wok?) over medium high heat and spray liberally with Pam
-Chop all the veggies into thin strips
-Put all the veggies in the pan.
-Pour 1/2 tablespoon of soy sauce over the pan.
-Mix together the veggies and cover for 10 minutes, lifting lid to stir every couple of minutes.
-Add 1 teaspoon of salt and the chicken into the mixture
-Cover and cook for 5 minutes lifting to stir
-Add 1 tablespoon of hoisin sauce and stir into mixture
-Turn off heat (as long as chicken is no longer pink)

Take a large lettuce leaf and spread a teaspoon of hoisin sauce in the middle and then put a spoon of the moo shu in the middle of the lettuce. Wrap, eat and repeat.

*Feel free to leave your better Ghost Buster porno name in the comments.