Random Thoughts

You know you’ve got a serious addiction to Internet porn when you think of it during sex in order to climax, but you can’t, because there’s too much buffering.

It’s funny how excited commuters get when they spot and then spring for the empty seats in a packed subway car. It’s even funnier how quickly their expressions turns to horror when they realize just how bad the area reeks of homeless person.

I took the GMAT yesterday. Halfway through the math section I came across a very challenging question. Not knowing how to tackle it, I thought, What would The Brah do? And then I imagined him approaching the question from an unusual angle, doing a few quick calculations in that notorious chicken-scratch handwriting of his, and miraculously arriving at the right answer. To celebrate, he plays some pong in the basement. He isn’t very good, but man, he sure has a lot of fun drinking and singing with the old gang. Also, I guessed “C”.

Not only is walking an old lady across the street a good deed, but it’s also a good way to protect yourself from oncoming traffic when the Don't Walk sign stops flashing.

The other morning I woke up early for a big interview and while I was shaving in the bathroom, I cut myself pretty bad. The gash was so embarrassing that I even considered canceling the interview. But then I thought to myself, You know what? It’s just an interview. No one’s gonna see your balls.