Thanksgiving Withdrawal
The days that follow the thanksgiving weekend are not easy. Putting aside the usual difficulty of going back to work after a long weekend, you have the additional pain, anguish and shakes that come with weaning yourself from a powerful narcotic, in this case, food.
If, like me, your thanksgiving feasting tends to overflow into the weekend due to leftovers, family meals and/or hangover therapy, then you are headed for a hurtin' when you get your usual salad at lunch today. Some people avoid this discomfort altogether and just let themselves grow a warm winter “layer” between November and January. But I think there is another option… The key to getting out of holidays alive and unscarred without the extra chunk is to keep on eating hearty and delicious food buttttt make it healthy! Impossible??? Of course not!! Continue reading for a filling and tasty chicken dish that will ease the transition from gluttony.
Lemon Olive Chicken
Ingredients
-Chicken – 3 breasts or thighs
-1 cup pitted kalamata olives
-3 cloves garlic – peeled and finely chopped
-the juice from 2 lemons
-1 tablespoon olive oil
-1 onion chopped into slices
-2 cups thin green beans (aka French green beans)
Prep
-Season chicken well with salt and pepper
-Put chicken and all of the above ingredients besides the onions and green beans in a large ziplock bag.
-Shake around to mix and put bag in the fridge the night before you are going to cook to marinade.
Cooking
-Preheat the oven to 400 degrees
-Line a pan with tinfoil and spray with Pam
-Pour chicken, all marinade juice and olives onto the pan
-Put the chopped onion and green beans around the chicken (in the marinade)
-Bake for 43 minutes or until chicken is cooked through
- Serve and enjoy
Congratulations, you have taken the first step in Thanksgiving detox 101.
Norm! Skiing/Snowboarding!
I think Norm is funny and a great talk show guest. But I love Conan's reaction to him best of all. By the by, has America decided whether we like Conan as the host of The Tonight Show? It still feels like the jury's out on that one, right? I'd say that most of the U.S. generally likes him, a smaller segment misses whatever Leno brought to the table, but many people suddenly realized that they no longer care about The Tonight Show and simply watched Leno out of fossilizing habit. So they have no opinion.
Jam Of The Week: N.A.S.A. (feat. Tom Waits & Kool Keith) - "Spacious Thoughts"
Tom Waits is one of my dad's favorite artists. OK, don't go alt-tabbing quite yet - my dad's pretty cool. He snowboards and mountain bikes and saves lives. Tom Waits does none of those things, but he's arguably much cooler. He makes weird guttural noises and his albums are alternately beautiful and cacophonous. The engaging visuals go well with Waits' rough voice. I don't know cool Keith as far as I can throw his wiki, but I like that he has approximately 10 monikers. Take a look - it's Thanksgiving weekend - what else are you going to do, hang out with your family?
Runner up after the jump
Runner up:
Bob Dylan - "Must Be Santa"
Only one this week - looks like everyone took vacation early this week. Hat tip BMar. When asked why Bob Dylan is doing a Xmas song, BMar said to me offline:
~BMar: no one knows
its puzzling
he's either insane or playing a joke on us
Late entry: OK Go - "WTF?"
Same dudes as the treadmill video.
Old school JOTW:
Eric B and Rakim - "Paid In Full"
No relation to the above videos (how could they?) Instead, I just opted for a classic jam.
Note: Apologies for the delay.
Is It Ski Season Yet?
Remember pre-global warming when there was snow at Thanksgiving? Yea, that was 4 years ago.
Source: xkcd
Happy Thanksgiving
Whether you're preparing a traditional Thanksgiving feast today or eating tacos, have a Happy Thanksgiving.
Lest we forget our owed thankfulness to the Pilgrims and Indians, below is a smorgasbord of Google's best Thanksgiving images reminding us of what today is all about. Enjoy.
Lest we forget our owed thankfulness to the Pilgrims and Indians, below is a smorgasbord of Google's best Thanksgiving images reminding us of what today is all about. Enjoy.
26-Year-Old To See Every Asshole He Ever Went To High School With On Night Before Thanksgiving
The Onion article here.
I'd liveblog tonight but you wouldn't care. Hell, I don't care*.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
*I care so much. SO MUCH.
Random Thoughts
If you’ve fallen on hard economic times, sometimes it’s best to take a step back and take stock of all the things you do have – the things that really matter in life. And maybe, if you’re lucky, you can sell those things to other people, to make some money.Instead of “widgets,” maybe economics professors should choose “pornography” as the product that their hypothetical business makes. Not only is it easier to conceptualize, but shouldn’t we be giving the consumer what he wants?
I think someone should invent sheets that you only have to wash once a year. That way, if you ever convince someone to spend the night in your bed – like someone you're not related to – and they ask why the sheets are covered in stains and crumbs and hair, you can just say, "Because these are the kind of sheets that you only have to wash once a year."
Sometimes, when my roommates and I have people over, a few guests actually lock the door when they use our bathroom. I find that so obnoxious. I mean, just because I’m going to press my ear against the door doesn’t mean I'm going to try and open it.
It can be really awkward running into an ex on the street. Not because the two of you shared some so many memories together and now you barely talk, but because the two of you used to wrap your mouths around each other’s genitalia.
Never Go Against the Family
... Now you come and say "Don Corleone, give me justice." But you don't ask with respect. You don't offer friendship. You don't even think to call me "Godfather."
The above quote is obviously from The Godfather. I need not even state it. But it could easily be from my day to day life. You see, most of the ingrates around here don't even realize that this summer I became The Godfather to a small Peruvian child...
It all started at 13,000ft during my last week in Peru on a relatively remote island in the world's largest high altitude lake. I was staying in the home of a local host family, which like all others on the island, lacked electricity or running water. What it did have was a spectacular view across Lake Titicaca to the Peruvian mainland and some serious snow-capped Andean peaks in Bolivia.
It also was only a stone's throw away from a makeshift bar.
The odds were already stacked against me. How could I have possibly come out of this NOT a Godfather (or a father for that matter)?
After a night of traditional dancing with the local women, most of whom seemed to be single but also 4ft 8 max, we sought out said bar.
Unfortunately it turned out to be little more than a neighbor's house, and midnight in an agrarian society is typically too late to be up watching infomercials and considering purchasing the Ginsu knife. So like good tourists eager to support the local economy, we awoke the sleepy "barkeep," knowing that our American dollars were probably worth more than their REM sleep. A few cases of Cristal later (unfortunately, Cristal is also a bad Peruvian beer), we somehow found --and purchased!-- a bottle of Jose Cuervo (also a bad Peruvian beer).
Safely back in Mexico, the night quickly deteriorated. A few hours later my 6ft 4 American friend and 4ft 8 host mother were literally carrying me back to my bed, while I expounded on plate tectonics and volcanic eruptions (double entendre intended).
When the sun came up some few hours later, I was awoken to the lovely sound of God's voice outside my window. Apparently Priests only make it to this delightful corner of Peru every few years (hard to believe in such a Catholic country) but today just so happened to be a day that a Belgian Priest was visiting the island. Such short notice was call for drastic measures. Apparently I'd done much to impress the night before and my host mother was quick to ask me to attend her 10 year-old son's baptism before my boat left my hungover ass a-sea. At least that's what I thought she said.
Fifteen minutes later I'd eaten my Peruvian pancake breakfast, had a wadfull of coca leaves in my lip and was well on my way to attend the ceremony.
Turns out in my stupor, I'd misunderstood my host mother and had agreed to become 10 year-old Hederson's Godfather - a minor detail, especially for a Jew.
The worst part is, it wasn't until I got back to the States and relayed the story to everyone that I realized what being a Godfather really means. It's not about being there on Sundays and special occasions -- something I'm ok with knowing I'll never do for this kid-- it's about helping foreigners get student visas and paying college tuition bills. This was all slightly more than I'd bargained for in my post-cuervo delirium.
I'm currently at a crossroads with my decision to abort this relationship. On the one hand, it'll be years before Google Maps arrive on his island and he can finally track me down. On the otherhand, I don't want to be the next Peruvian tourist who ends up dead so my fat can be sold for cosmetic lotions (see here).
So when you ask me why I'm not headed to Canoe this weekend or to NY to visit, just remember it's because I'm the Godfather, and you never go against the family.
The above quote is obviously from The Godfather. I need not even state it. But it could easily be from my day to day life. You see, most of the ingrates around here don't even realize that this summer I became The Godfather to a small Peruvian child...
It all started at 13,000ft during my last week in Peru on a relatively remote island in the world's largest high altitude lake. I was staying in the home of a local host family, which like all others on the island, lacked electricity or running water. What it did have was a spectacular view across Lake Titicaca to the Peruvian mainland and some serious snow-capped Andean peaks in Bolivia.
It also was only a stone's throw away from a makeshift bar. The odds were already stacked against me. How could I have possibly come out of this NOT a Godfather (or a father for that matter)?
After a night of traditional dancing with the local women, most of whom seemed to be single but also 4ft 8 max, we sought out said bar.
Unfortunately it turned out to be little more than a neighbor's house, and midnight in an agrarian society is typically too late to be up watching infomercials and considering purchasing the Ginsu knife. So like good tourists eager to support the local economy, we awoke the sleepy "barkeep," knowing that our American dollars were probably worth more than their REM sleep. A few cases of Cristal later (unfortunately, Cristal is also a bad Peruvian beer), we somehow found --and purchased!-- a bottle of Jose Cuervo (also a bad Peruvian beer).
Safely back in Mexico, the night quickly deteriorated. A few hours later my 6ft 4 American friend and 4ft 8 host mother were literally carrying me back to my bed, while I expounded on plate tectonics and volcanic eruptions (double entendre intended).
When the sun came up some few hours later, I was awoken to the lovely sound of God's voice outside my window. Apparently Priests only make it to this delightful corner of Peru every few years (hard to believe in such a Catholic country) but today just so happened to be a day that a Belgian Priest was visiting the island. Such short notice was call for drastic measures. Apparently I'd done much to impress the night before and my host mother was quick to ask me to attend her 10 year-old son's baptism before my boat left my hungover ass a-sea. At least that's what I thought she said.
Fifteen minutes later I'd eaten my Peruvian pancake breakfast, had a wadfull of coca leaves in my lip and was well on my way to attend the ceremony.
Turns out in my stupor, I'd misunderstood my host mother and had agreed to become 10 year-old Hederson's Godfather - a minor detail, especially for a Jew.
The worst part is, it wasn't until I got back to the States and relayed the story to everyone that I realized what being a Godfather really means. It's not about being there on Sundays and special occasions -- something I'm ok with knowing I'll never do for this kid-- it's about helping foreigners get student visas and paying college tuition bills. This was all slightly more than I'd bargained for in my post-cuervo delirium.
I'm currently at a crossroads with my decision to abort this relationship. On the one hand, it'll be years before Google Maps arrive on his island and he can finally track me down. On the otherhand, I don't want to be the next Peruvian tourist who ends up dead so my fat can be sold for cosmetic lotions (see here).
So when you ask me why I'm not headed to Canoe this weekend or to NY to visit, just remember it's because I'm the Godfather, and you never go against the family.
Act Your Age
It doesn't take long to realize that responsibilities gained in your 20s are not all that exciting. Paying bills, taxes and working for the man are all about as cool as they sound. Luckily, holidays are the perfect opportunity to revert to your immature pre-grown up self. Hiding outside the kitchen to avoid washing dishes, fighting over the remote with siblings and trying to hide your hangover from grandma are ways to invoke that comforting feeling of being a teenager again - living in someone else’s home, with everything taken care of.
As great as that is, it’s also time for a reality check; you are too old to show up to thanksgiving empty handed. It is time to contribute. So do something different this year and impress your friends and family by bringing a delicious and simple appetizer. It will take you 25 minutes to make and maybe even redeem the odor of your beer infused sweat from last night’s high school reunion.
Ham and Cheese Puff Pastry Bites
-2 sheets puff pastry (Pepperidge farm – found in freezer section) – put in fridge or leave out for a few hours so it defrosts.
-¼ pound thinly sliced ham (from deli)
-¼ pound thinly sliced provolone cheese
-1 egg
-Dijon mustard (Grey Poupon of course)
-Preheat oven to 425 degrees
-Take a big sheet of tinfoil and put it on the counter – spray it with Pam
-Put the defrosted puff pastry on the tinfoil and unfold it so it is one big square (it comes folded in thirds).
-Spread a think layer of Grey Poupon on the puff pastry leaving about an inch border around the sides
- Put a layer of ham on top of the mustard, and then put a layer of provolone on top of the ham.
-Crack the egg into a cup or bowl and beat with a little water, then brush the border around the layers with the egg/water mixture (if you don’t have a brush just use your fingers.).
- Unfold the 2nd sheet of puff pastry and place on top of the layers.
- Take a rolling pin or wine bottle and roll out the whole thing to make it a bit thinner. Press around the edges with your finger to seal the sides.
- Brush the rest of the egg mixture on the top of the pastry.
- Cut a few slits in the top of the puff pastry to ventilate.
-Bake on sprayed tinfoil in the oven for 17-20 minutes (until slightly golden.)
-Once pastry has cooled a bit take the top of your Pam spray bottle and use it like a cookie cutter to cut out little circular ham and cheeses.
-Serve the circles with a little dish of Grey Poupon for everyone’s dipping pleasure.
P!edge Joke!
In neurology class today we were learning about acute head trauma. Apparently there are all sorts of guidelines to indicate when to do a CT and when not too. (Remember our healthcare system is intimately concerned about unnecessary expenditures so overuse of CTs is inappropriate... or something like that. I'm not really sure. They actually didn't teach us anything about cost or insurance. God Bless the USA!)**
The "standard of care" suggests following the guidelines established by the Canadian CT Head Rule. The details aren't important, but my understanding was that all Canadians were supposed to get head CTs. Is that not right? Other med students out there, can you confirm?
**This is not the joke. Keep reading.
SNL--It's been a bad year, but even a stopped clock...
SNL has been garbage this year. It really was a good season last year, grinding out the last of the comedic juices from Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, while catapulting supporting cast members to moderate heights.
But this year, the show just feels like its running on fumes (Kenan Thompson, interestingly enough, has emerged as the best player on this 35th SNL season). NBC's inflated expectations, after the success of last year's prime time specials and Tina Fey's brilliant Sarah Palin, led the network to air repeated back-to-back-to-back live shows as well as several live primetime specials....all of which have drained the talents of the writers and players. Furthermore, the hosts have been unimpressive. The January Jones-hosted episode last weekend has become a universally mocked episode: lots of squinty line reading, uninspired monologue, loads of fart jokes, and because the comedic content was missing, 3 songs by the Black Eyed Peas to fill up the episode's 90 minutes.
Which is why I enjoyed the absurdity of last night's Andy Samberg/Kenan Thompson sketch. original, absurd, and funny, it is what SNL can do best and why it can fill a very different spot in the late night hierarchy than The Daily Show or Conan O'Brien. Here's to more of that in 2010.
Stoned Me Just Like Jelly Roll
Its been a big week for stoners. First, on Thursday morning voters awarded MLB's NL Cy Young to Tim Lincecum of the San Francisco Giants. The very same Tim Lincecum was pulled over on I-5 in Washington State on October 30 of this year with a small quantity of-- gasp-- the reefer! Not to be outdone, noted marijuana enthusiast and former Canadian football star Ricky Williams followed Lincecum by turning in a three TD effort in leading the Miami Dolphins over the Carolina Panthers on Thursday Night, a performance made all the more impressive when you consider one of his scores came on a catch (hand-eye coordination perhaps not among the traits usually ascribed to stoners).
This relates nicely to an ad I heard on the radio this morning, advertising Cheech & Chong's new tour, purportedly in favor of pot legalization called "Get it Legal." Now, far be it for me to raise an eyebrow towards two of surely the most formidable pot-ninjas in this fair country,
but are they really the best advocates for legalization? I can't really think of a duo who might be less convincing than those two to someone on the fence about the issue. Of course they want pot legalized! All of which got me, in turn, thinking about who the most effective possible advocate for country-wide legalization might be. Its tempting to say
the Pope, but after reflection I have to go with Warren Buffett. Wouldn't it just blow your mind if he came out and said he rips a 6-foot bong every morning before he gets out of bed?! That would do it, I'm pretty sure-- the man is America's Pope. Suggestions for others in the comments!
Cheers to MLR
It's perhaps fitting that AMDAL has been quiet today. A proverbial moment of silence for a departed leader. MLR came to the Hanoverian Plain in 2002, a young chap ready to conquer the world. He left us today, a dishearteningly-quick 7 years later.
Congrats on all your accomplishments. Godspeed.
Jam Of The Week: LMFAO feat. Lil Jon - "Shots"
After a long vacation (from what, I'm not sure) Lil Jon is back in fine form. When combined with LMFAO, a duo that clearly doesn't take themselves seriously, and a hilarious video / song with booze and babes, it's no wonder it earns top spot.
Note: AMDAL doesn't condone the gratuitous consumption of alcohol and scantily clad women. We simply display it and let you decide if it's awesome or just plain amazing.
Runners up after the break
Runners up
Kid Sister - "Right Hand Hi"
Keep an eye on her. The song is catchy and from her appearance on Jimmy Fallon (35m 15s), pretty attractive. If she can actually put some lyrics together and continue to put out fun songs, she has a chance.
Beyoncé feat. Lady Gaga – "Video Phone (Extended Remix)"
Speaking of up and comers, here are two artists who probably won't have a future in music since they can't sing or dance, but the video (while seizure-inducing) is fun to watch. Try and enjoy it.
B.G. feat Mannie Fresh and Gar - "My Hood"
Back when Weezy was the runt of the group and 'bling' was a cool thing to call diamonds, B.G. was 2nd in command to Juvenile of the Cash Money
Old School JOTW: B.G. Feat Cash Money Millionaires - "Bling Bling"
High School!
Rick Flair vs. Hulk Hogan 2009 Edition
Shit is real.
Updates as they come. If anyone knows why The Nature Boy went old school all up on Hulk's ass, please post info in the comments. Even Twitter isn't trending this yet.
Less ___, More Roadtrip!
In lieu of my (lack of) employment status and (DOC) cabin-fever state here in Hanover, I'm hitting the open road, ultimately in search of
If anyone in the AMDAL community will be in these places and wants to hang out, holler. The Dec SF portion and Jan Hanover>SF road trip I'd love to meet up, sleep on your couch and eat all your food if it's ok by me. Whether you want it or not, lots of weird liveblogging to come.
Note: Dates may change but this is approximately right.
Leave Sarah Alone!
This has been around a while (probably NSFW), but I thought it would be nice to trot it out in honor of your moose-hunting, lipstick-on-a-pit-bull, serial dissembler and 2012 Republican Presidential candidate's book tour! That's right-- the whole nation is GOING ROGUE!
To me, the most fascinating thing about Palin is how she blurs the line between politics and celebrity. Certainly it seems she has no taste for the more mundane aspects of governance, but at the same time she remains firmly planted in the political realm (see NY-23 and the Hoffman affair). She's actively positioning herself as a media celebrity (book tour, TV and speaking engagements, and a reported talk show in the works) and indeed some of her behavior over the last few months is indicative of someone who is more of a GOP rabble-rouser than a serious political candidate. From the public sparring with Levi Johnson (a.k.a. Ricky Hollywood) to the shameful propagation of the "death panel" meme, to the Letterman hisitronics, she's been seeming more Glenn Beck than Ronaldus Magnus these last few months.
But for those of us who would like to see her fade off into the sunset, or at least into the 3-6 pm time slot between El Rushbo and the newly-liberated Lou Dobbs, I fear disappointment looms.
For it is exactly this media circus atmosphere from which she draws her support. More than any other current politican, Palin creates this intensely emotional reaction amongst her followers. Without being in the spotlight, without sparring with media "elites", without pundits around to say mean things about her she loses the sense of being the underdog and the sense of martyrdom at the hands of the LIBERAL MEDIA that engenders such a powerful reaction among her followers and serves to deflect attention from some of her more glaring political shortcomings. Its no surprise to me that her numbers have dipped a little in the last few months as she has been out of the public spotlight.Thus her shaky relationship with the truth is no real detriment among those who love her. If anything, pointing out she is being less than forthcoming serves to harden her support among those who do like her, as it merely plays into the "media-trying-to-keep-me-down" meme that is her bread and butter. She's truly taken Karl Rove's lessons to heart-- while we're all busy trying to live in our reality-based world, she's out there creating her own, in which she doesn't fire state troopers to settle personal scores, meets with Russian trade delegations, didn't want the bridge to Nowhere, never went through a clothing audit-- the list goes on and on. Saying these things doesn't hurt her at all as long as she remains at the forefront. She needs the spotlight and in the spotlight she will remain. Even so, she's quite cunning and calculating and seems wired to go for the jugular. I mean think about it-- did anyone in your high-school class have the nickname "Barracuda"?! Even if I'm not particularly scared by her, if I were Mitt Romney I sure as hell would be quaking in my mittens. She will crush that namby-pamby like a bug under her jackboot.
My prediction for her is that she will not attain national political success-- but she will point the way towards an eventual right-wing-extra-teabaggy resurgence. As such, the whole circus remains worth watching. I'd be interested to hear what the red-meaters think... comment below!
On a final note, you Larry King fans out there might notice some similarities between Palin's media strategy and this young lady's.
Palin/Prejean '12!
A Mexican Thanksgiving
For many Americans thanksgiving is the ultimate holiday. Food, football and cheer abound as families scattered across the country come together to count their blessings and get their eat on. But In my controversial opinion the thanksgiving feast is a bit overrated. I mean think about it, how many times a year do you eat carved turkey, cranberry sauce or stuffing? Probably less than 3. Why? Because they're not that amazing... So now that we're all grown up why not start your own feasting tradition? I know Italian friends who chow down on lasagna while they watch the parade, or friends who carve a juicy ham instead of a turkey. At the end of the day as long as you are with family, completely stuffed and awkward political discussions have transpired you have fulfilled your thanksgiving obligations. In my family we give turkey Tom and swine flu a big F-you and head to Cancun for the holiday because nothing makes us more thankful to be together than margaritas and guacamole.
So in honor of non-traditional Thanksgivings continue reading for a yummy and simple Mexican chicken soup to get you in the holiday spirit!
Chicken Posole – adapted from Real Simple Magazine
(Makes 4 servings and tastes even better heated up as leftovers)
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 onion, thinly sliced
2 cups low-sodium chicken broth
1 28-ounce can of diced tomatoes, drained
1 teaspoon crushed red pepper (start with less if you can’t handle spicy)
2 cups shredded rotisserie chicken meat (buy a pre-cooked rotisserie chicken from the grocery store and pick off the breast or thigh meat)
1 15-ounce can corn (make sure it does not have added sugar)
1 lime, cut into wedges
-Put large saucepan over medium heat and heat up oil.
-Add onion ¼ teaspoon each of salt and pepper and sauté until soft and beginning to brown (10-12 mins)
-Add broth, tomatoes and crushed red pepper and bring to a boil.
- Stir in chicken and corn and simmer until heated through – 3, 4 minutes.
Serve with lots of lime
Still need a traditional recipe for your less awesome thanksgiving? No worries, I’ll get you next week!
Presented without Comment
Animated story of one of the more amazing moments in MLB history. NSFW, and hat tip to JCB on this one.
Friday Five
On Wednesday, I had lunch at Ruby Tuesday. Due, I’m quite certain, to an error on their end, both of my credit cards were declined. Although it was mildly embarrassing to borrow money from my friend, it was worth the undeserved shame to see what it feels like to hit rock bottom.
A zipup hoodie seems like a contradiction to me. If you’re so concerned about messing up your hair, why do you have a hood at all?
When choosing an art print to frame and display, the rules are simple: Select a lesser known piece by a well known artist. That way, you appear to have an acute sense for the aesthetic without following the crowd. Who the hell likes lily pads anyway?
Every time I send a fax at the office, my stomach growls. While this phenomenon baffled me for several months, I realized in a moment of clarity that pushing buttons that beep causes my “hot pocket in three minutes” synapses to fire. This also explains why I have violent diarrhea two hours after sending a fax.
When I asked my buddy why he moved to California, he responded “You don’t have to shovel sunshine.” Good point. You do, however, have to put up with vacuous assholes and their obnoxious quips.
Brilliant Google Wave Analysis
I saw this today in an aggregator of social news/meme aggregators and found its simplicity and authenticity compelling. I wanted to share.
Google Wave, though awesome, is an absolute and total bust unless 95% or more of your social network is also on board. If you're jonesing for an invite, don't worry about it. At least, don't worry about it until everyone that you know is on it. By that time, it will be worth signing up and invitations will be unlimited. [Reddit via PopURLs]
Read Online Articles Easily And More Efficiently
I came across this fantastic application reading David Pogue's column at nytimes.com. Pretty much every page you go to nowadays has those new expandable ads that almost fills your screen when you hover over them with your mouse. With all the flashing and blinking going on, I find it hard to actually read certain articles online - and I'm sure I'm not the only one. Enter Readability. This simple app changed the way I interact with the internet:
The picture above should give you an idea, but basically what Readability does is take the text from the page you are reading and format it into a much easier and simpler way. It removes all ads and unnecessary formatting to give you what you actually want to read - the article. Don't worry, if there are images within the article, those will show up as well.
To get Readability working (it will literally take you 12 seconds), follow these simple steps:
1. Go here
2. Setup your preferences (I like the eReader styling the best)
3. Drag the "Readability" link into your bookmarks menu
4. On any page you're reading, just click your new "Readability" bookmark and it will format it for you
Like any one-size-fits-all product, it doesn't work for everything. That being said, if there is a large block of text I'd like to read online, the first thing I'll be doing is clicking my Readability bookmark.
Enjoy
The Website Is Down
Say goodbye to 10 minutes. Horrible flashbacks of my times as a sales guy at Beutsche Dank.
Apparently this is old and there's some new ones too here but I'm a n00b so this is all new to me.
Sales Guy or Web Dude, which are you?
All His Facial Hair Saves Lives
We all know MLR is accomplishing some great things on his new spinoff blog AMFHSL. Spinoffs are always a great success (see Private Practice) and this is certainly no exception.
His daily updates have been tantalizing and this morning was no exception.
It's progress like this that cures cancer. As soon as I finish up with this semester's Oncology course I plan to find the time to grow a mustache myself and help a brother out.
His daily updates have been tantalizing and this morning was no exception.
It's progress like this that cures cancer. As soon as I finish up with this semester's Oncology course I plan to find the time to grow a mustache myself and help a brother out.
Random Thoughts
Whenever people around me are drunk but I’m sober, all I can think is, Man, I wish I were drinking too. Whenever I’m drunk but people around me are sober, all I can think is, Man, why did I bring this flask to church?
I used to be too scared to go in the sauna at my YMCA because it was always full of these creepy Euro dudes who looked at me like they wanted to do terrible, horrible things to me. Late last week, however, I finally confronted my fears and I marched in and sat down. And it was so embarrassing, because I realized how wrong I had been about the creepy Euro dudes and their intentions. All they wanted to do was fondle me a little.
To me, antibiotics are a lot like antiperspirants. At first they seem to do the trick but after a while, your body builds up a resistance and finally, you swear them off forever because, really, what’s the point?
Given all the success of “JDate,” I think we Christians should start our online dating site. We’ll call it “CDate” and our mission will be simple: to ensure that Christian traditions continue for generations to come. To do this, we’ll provide a social network where Christian singles can meet to find romance and love. Then, after a few months, maybe we’ll let in Jewish chicks as well, because some of them are pretty hot and easy.
I often think about how far technology has come and how much of it we take for granted. When I’m a dad, I’m gonna make sure my kids know how lucky they are to live in the age that they do. I’ll take my son aside and I'll tell him that when I was a boy, sometimes it could take several minutes just to download some hardcore pornography, and even then, the pictures didn’t move or tell you where they wanted you to click.
Jam of the Week: Gucci Mane feat. Usher - "Spotlight"
I was quick to write off Gucci Mane but there’s something about his delivery of the first verse that is strangely appealing. Plus having Usher singing (and not whining) over the chorus is pretty excellent. The song gets a little repetitive but you can appreciate a good party jam when you hear it.
Bonus: Omarion feat. Gucci Mane - "I Get It In"
Runners up after the break…
Runners up
Lady Gaga - "Bad Romance"
This video would have easily gotten top spot if the song didn’t bother me and it wasn’t so creepy (ok, not so easy). Still, it’s clear that this video is far and above any video I ever show in terms of artistic appeal. But that doesn’t necessarily mean JOTW. I mean, where are the video hoes? Jeez…
Miami Horror - "Sometimes"
The song is fun and the babe takes her shirt off in a slow and sexy way by the beach. She doesn’t speak but she’s apparently Australian, so for most, that should illicit boners. For me, it makes me think of angry skype calls with my coworker before the company was shut down due to lack of funds. Call it a boner recession.
Hat tip: Little Magician
Chamillionaire - "Good Morning"
I like this video and it’d be a lot closer to JOTW if it had some ironic twist at the end where he’s actually just chilling in his old hood “keeping it real.” Instead, all the price tags and “huge dudes” he’s hanging out with are actually part of his life and not a farce. Not quite as clever but still a fun track, even with a butchering of the Tom Petty sample.
Old School JOTW: Usher - "U Don't Have To Call"
I’m assuming the JOTW above was supposed to be especially clever because this video exists. In it, Diddy is consoling Usher, who just broke up with his biddy in a previous video (that I don’t care to find, just trust me it exists). This video came out fresh off Diddy being famously dumped by JLo hence the “I’ve been there” line. Either way, the video’s enjoyable and they are even able to work in Heely’s into their dance routine.
Bonus: This week was actually packed with videos and great songs that came out. I’ve included a few below for you to enjoy if you’re really trying not to work today.
UCB feat. Wale - "Pat Your Weave"
Blakroc feat. Mos Def and Jim Jones – "Ain’t Nothing Like You (Hoochie Coo)"
Robin Thicke feat. Nicki Minaj - "Shakin It"
Robin Thicke feat. Jay-Z – "Meiple"
Hat tip: Luke A. for this one
Big News
Perpetual Man Of The Week Bob B. and his fantastic girlfriend Katie C. are now engaged! Something about a trip to Italy and facial hair, I'm not really sure. The gist of it is that these two are getting hitched.
Wish Bob and Katie a big congrats in emails and comments.
Smoke-Worthy Moments in Mad Men: Episode 313
Chuck Norris' tears (and my mustache) cure cancer. Don Draper's tears save seasons
It's undeniable that this season's finale one of the most exciting and satisfying episodes of Mad Men we've seen yet. So much so that it's pulling me out of the bullpen and forcing me to write about MM once again. I've gobbled up as much recapping as I can handle on the tubes and linked to most of it below. I'll try to put my own spin on it here.
Top Moments of Mad Men Episode 313: Shut The Door. Have A Seat.
Don Versus
If Don Draper was a Mike Tyson's Punch Out character, he'd have unlimited stars. He wouldn't need to train by running by the waterfront or have Mac trail him on a bike or pat him on the back when he's feeling glum. He doesn't need to duck or dodge. Don Draper is Muhammed Ali. He is Rocky fighting Mr. T. Don Draper is the master of the rope-a-dope. Don Draper sits back for 10 episodes getting the shit kicked out of him (or so you think) and just when you think he's down? Boom! He's up and swinging. Tale of the tape below:
Don vs. Connie
The interaction between Don and Connie was the first big scene of the finale and arguably the most important. Don has been a whimpering baby for a bunch of episodes now, feeling bad for himself and falling short on a lot of things - basically un-Don-like. By asking if he "was one of those people" who cry about what's owed to them, Connie wakes Draper from his self-pitying slumber and puts the SCDP wheels in motion. Don may have lost his father-figure and his top account, but the experience he had with Connie led him to some important realizations. Still, Connie has been (and hopefully will continue to be) Don's superior and isn't afraid to knock him down a peg or two when Don gets out of line.
Winner: Connie (KO)
Archie vs. Dick/Don
Don Draper has been haunted by the goast of Archibald "Dad" Whitman all season. From flashbacks in his kitchen to late-night / red-pill induced visits, Don's been reminded of how his shitty father has abused him and his family for as long as Archie lived. Then came the latest flashback, with Archibald being his asshole self, but this time for the good of his family. Slate editors apparently hate flashbacks, (keep it in mind next time you make a critically acclaimed, Emmy winning drama), but they also apparently sympathized with Archie on this one. To paraphrase, Slate and others believe that the flashback was meant to show Don's father in a way that was worth imitating; don't give up on something you believe in or else you'll get kicked in the face by your horse and die. Something like that. To me, this felt much more like a Pete Campbell move: despite all intentions of being a stubborn arrogant SOB, Archie was doing what was right. And while I agree that the dream sequence was part of what encouraged Don to stand up for himself like his late father did, he transcended the inherited stubbornness by realizing that he'll need help if he wants to succeed. Where Archie rebuked a co-op, Don embraced it, marching right into Bert's office in order to build the rest of the Magnificent Seven.
Winner: Dick/Don (KO)
Dick vs. Don
Part of the reason Don's been getting kicked around is that he's been exposing himself more (Relax Sal) and showing more Dick (I said RELAX). What we're seeing in Don assembling his crew is that Don's not going to get anywhere without a little Whitman in him. This means opening himself up and showing that he truly does value people. I was a little taken aback at how quickly the transition from apathetic drifter to full-on ad-man came ("So you want to be in advertising after all") and with that, the honesty and heart-felt concessions to Roger, Pete and Peggy. But to be honest, the first few pitches only feel half-hearted. That is, until Roger breaks the news to Don about Henry Francis, sealing the deal that Don and Betty's marriage really is over. Raw and beaten down, someone new arises the next morning (Note to self: calling wife a whore is cathartic) - a Dick/Don hybrid that is focused but with the added emotion of a man who's invested in his own life again. And we see it when going back to Peggy, being as open as we've ever seen him: "Something happened, something terrible...and no one understands. But you do." The first layer is the change the times signaled by the Kennedy assassination and that Peggy knows how to read between the cultural lines and pull from the ether the perfect ad slogan. But the more interesting facet is the shared tribulations of Peggy and Don. Don knows that Peggy understands what it's like to go through "something terrible." Peggy, being the smart girl she is, realizes Don is revealing his new side to her. And being the vulnerable girl she is ("You won't talk to me ever again"), wants to feel needed (Enter pitch: "I'll spend the rest of my life trying to hire you"). It's this new Dick/Don combination that later offers both the conciliatory and cutting remark to Betty before her trip to Reno: "I hope that you get everything you want."
Winner: Tie
Don vs. Betty
Don: "You mainline brat" "I was never good enough for you"
More than anything, to me, this is what turned Don into the Dick/Don hybrid I spoke of above. When Betty retorts by saying, "That's right," we all know that Don is getting what he signed up for: a narcissistic woman-child; a real-life Barbie doll with the maturity level and attention span of it's intended target audience. As an aside: this is also the scene that makes me think Jon Hamm is indeed deserving of an Emmy. In less than a minute on screen he manages to be angry, visibly drunk (for once), scared and scary all at once. I also find this sad, not because I wanted them to last (Scos and WOHJR get along better), but because I was hoping Betty was going to transcend her childishness. Sure, the divorce was the right move for her and yes, she was showing some guts by being assertive and not taking Don's condescending advice to see a doctor ("a good one this time"). But running into Henry Francis' arms? C'mon. Don was right - she was jumping from one life raft to another. And from the last shot of her on the plane with Gene Jr. and Mr. Fainting Couch, I think she knows it too.
Winner: Don (Unanimous decision)
Survivor: Sterling Cooper Edition
How's everyone feel about the Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce pickups? Here's my breakdown, in order of assembly:
Bert: Something makes me think Bert won't live through season 4. He's pretty old and also pretty ineffective. Don't get me wrong, he's a great plot device and every scene he's in is great, but I'd be surprised he survives, both in SCDP as well as on the show.
Roger: "Ugh, I'm tired. Peggy, can you get me some coffee?" What other character on Mad Men consistently delivers the greatest one liners, the funniest looks and now, one of the most surprisingly interesting backstories? If you say Harry, I'll lock you in the broom closet.
Pryce: "Very good, Happy Christmas!" - Lane Pryce offers a great counter-balance to the other three partners. I've been silently rooting for him ever since we saw early on how he's been pushed around by his tight-assed bosses across the pond. I just hope in Season 4 Captain Mike will finally stand up to his wife.
Peggy: Though somewhat predictable, Peggy has shown the kind of balls we all expected the secretary with the ankles that can sing to have. Not only is she standing up to Don, but she's getting laid on a regular basis and occasionally smoking drugs. Plus, Vulture or Slate or someone said that the Duck x Peggy storyline isn't dead and I agree - I can't wait to see Don explode when he finds out his mentor is sleeping with his biggest professional enemy.
Pete: Pete's been a favorite character of mine for most of the season, largely due to his unexpected transformation. If I didn't know better, I'd expect Weiner and co. to keep Pete as the show's antagonist, constantly trying to weasel his way to the top with no respect for his coworkers. I don't think that competitiveness will ever die, but it was nice to see Don recognize what we all liked about Pete this year - that he's been constantly ahead of the curve. Plus, more Pete = more Trudy ("Peter, can I see you for a minute?!") Campbell and their strangely rejuvenated marriage. Here's to more scenes with the Chip & Dip.
Harry: TV's that important. How else can they stand to keep him around? Harry's not interesting either as a character or as an employee. I liked him better when he was opening Ken's mail and walking around the office with only his boxers on. Here's hoping for some more interesting plot lines for Harry next season.
Joan: JOAN! Did anyone yell her name when someone complained about not knowing where any of the files were? Also one of my favorite understatements of the episode: "Joan, what a good idea."
Those voted off: Kenny and his haircut were more of a charicature than a real character. If you counted up his time on screen since the pilot, I don't think it'd be more than 3 minutes. Kinsey's been phased out and it's another "meh." I'll miss Sal and was secretely hoping he was sleeping in the Art Department when Don kicked down the door. I have a feeling he'll be back. I'm going to miss Hilde constantly giving Pete shit. But I think you can all guess where I'm going with this: LOIS!. Will SCDP @ The Pierre need a switchboard operator slash grass cutter?
The Single Guy
Unless Betty has a sudden change of heart (please don't do this off camera Weiner), here are my predictions for who Don may hook back up with and the odds associated with them:
Midge: The East Village is SO first
Rachel: Dating a successful single Jewish woman? How progressive of Don. Pretty possible and in my mind, hopeful. That said, she's on SOA now and seems pretty locked in there. Either way I get my fill of Maggie Siff 5:1
Bobbie Bartlett: Besides the great fingerbang scene, I don't think many people cared about this vignette. I'll be happy if she doesn't come back and I think I'll be ok. 20:1
Stewardess: I know it's a long shot, I just like thinking about her. 100:1
Ms. Farrell: I hate this bitch so much but I have a sneaking suspicion that since she didn't off herself in the last few episodes (would have been darkly humorous if she pulled her own trigger on the same day Kennedy was shot), I bet either her, her brother or both will be back next season 4:1
Peggy: Why not? Oh, right, she's unattractive. 7:1
Betty: An affair with your soon to be ex-wife? Sounds steamy. Plus he can't just drop
It was good for me, was it good for you?
Sources:
Alan Sepinwall
Interview w/ Weiner
Behind the scenes on the finale
Vulture's Logan
The Surf's Emily Nussbaum
Vulture: Logan x Emily IM conversation
Slate 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Uh...
1989 - Jhericurled, Coming To America-inspired Sammy Sosa:
May 2009 - Eddie Munsterish Sammy Sosa:
November 2009 - ??? Sammy Sosa:
I dunno, I just think it's a weird way for someone to pay tribute to a legend/show your excitement about an upcoming movie premier.
May 2009 - Eddie Munsterish Sammy Sosa:
November 2009 - ??? Sammy Sosa:
I dunno, I just think it's a weird way for someone to pay tribute to a legend/show your excitement about an upcoming movie premier.
Waka Waka: The Origins
**When I first heard the term waka a few years back in my college days, I naturally immediately thought of the World Adult Kickball Association (WAKA). In fact, I was mistaken.
The evolution of the term, as best I can research it, is as follows:
Around the turn of the century --this century-- the fine young men and women of Dartmouth College began to use the term self call. This phrase was shouted out in response to another's self-aggrandizing statement. Back then such a comment may have been: So, ahh, then we golden shrubbed the other guys, and I hooked up with her later.
These days a self call sounds more like: My portfolio is still strong to quite strong.
Either way, you get the point. What's interesting, fascinating in fact, is that somewhere between then and now there was a radical change in our common parlance. After AMDAL's very own The BMar beat "self call" into the ground, he single-handedly delivered the term "waka" to the lexicon. Whether it was an alcohol induced moment of genius or an incomprehensible dyspraxic utteration, we may well never know. The parties present at the time --Spring Break on South Padre Island-- are either currently incarcerated or have since gone missing.
What we do know is that things haven't been the same since. Waka is no longer just a genre of Japanese poetry; it's a Dartmouth language phenomenon that has spread to the very internets you're currently reading.
But alas, there are always two sides to every coin, and sometimes even the victor's don't write history.
On my archeologically-focused summer abroad in Peru, I discovered the following ancient Incan scripture (self call! waka waka!):
And so it is that waka is neither a new phrase nor a particularly appropriate one in the context in which we've grown accustomed to using it.
Five hundred years ago, as the Spanish conquistadores ruthlessly invaded Peru for it's yellow gold (not Inca Kola. That was to come in 1910), the Incan Empire began its precipitous fall. It receded from its peripheral territories across the Andes, gathering last at its most sacred spot, its most important waka, Machu Picchu.
It wasn't until 1911 when Yale archeologist and US Senator Hiram Bingham rediscovered Machu Picchu (was he looking for Peru's other --and just released-- gold?!), that the true secret of the waka was ultimately revealed.
**Apologies, this photo is completely unrelated to the content here presented, but was the first hit on a Google Image Search of the term "waka."
2 Ingredient Pumpkin Cake Muffins- Comfort for Hard Times
About 2 months ago the VP of my division at work announced that there would be some “restructuring” in our division in November. After much gossip and minimal disclosure from above, November has finally come and today the heads of the business will let us know the changes in our jobs or, ugh, if we still have them. So in anticipation of a grueling day of HR meetings, one on ones and potential layoffs for me or my co-workers (I will not cry!!!) I have prepared the only way I know how… I wore my most comfortable sneakers and I baked some muffins. Because I’m pretty sure no matter how things goes down someone is going to need a muffin. And how better to say, “I’m sorry you lost your job” or, “Yay! We kept our jobs” than with a freshly baked treat.
So, in response to AOG’s call out for seasonal pumpkin dishes, here are some extremely simple and tasty pumpkin muffins, quick enough that you can make them before going to work. Then, if you are looking for some instant gratification follow my directions below the muffins to make some pumpkin cake pancakes with the leftover batter. These will definitely put you and any disgruntled co-workers in the holiday spirit...
Pumpkin Muffins - simplified from Cindy Costa's recipe at allrecipes.com
1 (18.25 ounce) box of yellow or vanilla cake mix
1 (15 ounce) can of pumpkin pie filling
Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
Spray muffin tin with Pam
Mix cake mix and pumpkin pie filling in a large bowl until there are almost no lumps
Spoon batter into muffin tins until they are half full
Bake for 20 minutes
Let cool and devour - they are really yummy
Leftover Batter Pancakes
Put a small Pan over high heat and pour in a teaspoon of oil - swirl pan to coat
Turn down pan to medium high heat
Take a spoonful of the leftover batter and drop it in the pan - spread a bit to flatten
After about a minute, flip the patty with a spatula
Cook for a minute on the other side
Eat with a big glass of milk, no syrup necessary
P.S. Stay tuned! If I DO lose my job I am available for hire as private healthy foods chef and occasional muffin maker. I am also a really good whistler... like 99th percentile.
