Contrary to popular belief, revenge is not a dish best served cold. That’s ice cream. Revenge is getting back at someone who wronged you.Instead of throwing yellow flags, why don’t football refs try banana peels? Not only are they cheaper, but also they’re more biodegradable, which means you don’t even have to pick them up.
I never believe those tour guides who claim the students at their school “work hard and play hard,” unless by “play hard” they mean “with themselves.”
Every time I take an unplanned shower I ask myself, “How many more of these before I finally go out and buy some goddamn toilet paper?”
I doubt many people realize that a small binder clip, when used creatively, is a highly effective nose hair remover.
3 comments:
"Better than hot pizza? That's ridiculous!"
Yeah, I prefer cold pizza to the reheated stuff. Come to think of it, "ice cream" or "fruit salad" may work better for this joke. Maybe we should do a poll. Thanks for the input, Mr. Jeff!
"Every time I take an unplanned shower I ask myself, “How many more of these before I finally go out and buy some goddamn toilet paper?”"
Isn't this great to hear from your roommmate? I hope you clean the soap bar after you use it...
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