Friday Five

While totally legitimate, the rebuttal “Hemingway was a drunk, and he won the Pulitzer” only makes my mom cry harder.

Every time I think about going into politics, I remember that a handful of people could tell (and show) the media that I regularly use my cell phone to send them pictures of my feces. Tax evasion can be chalked up as an oversight, but scatological photography? Harder to talk your way out of.

Duff.

My barbress is from Eastern Europe. She’s smoking hot and has a killer accent, but her English isn’t top notch. In her language, “I’d just like a trim, thank you” translates into “Oh heck, go ahead and surprise me.”

When I fart audibly at the office, I figure that my coworkers assume it's my chair creaking. I suppose they also have to assume that creaking chairs make me giggle.


Author’s Note:
The resemblance between Friday Five and Random Thoughts is admittedly uncanny; there are five quips which intend to amuse, with potentially similar subject matter, and an occasional italicized footnote. While comparison between the two is unavoidable, the Author hopes that posts warrant critique, mild or scathing, independent of the former beloved column. The inferiority complex need not be fueled. The former appeared daily. Each gem was garnished with an amusing picture. Random Thoughts was never removed after submission only to be posted a week later. I hope only to replace a full body massage with a carved wooden hand on a stick.

Please enjoy,
Trip