Liveblogging Mojo's

Party on bottom business up top

I enjoy doing a quick six - ledgar

Love, mikey ps enjoy the breadsticks

Love, Kelly

Thank you, Anonymous - Survey

I've got to admit, I went from seething mad to gleeful in 2 minutes after scanning through this post (skipping Bill Simmons, I'm not a sports guy) and hitting to Rant 2. Finally, some production value from the peanut gallery.

But is it just me, or does Anonymous sound like the the guy sitting next to Louis on the plane? Isn't AMDAL in its current state doing enough to improve the quality of your life? Take it to the new survey, see left.

****

Anonymous said...
Since the Friday posts have been disappointing with failures (being generous) to deliver consistently on Person of the Week, or even Facebook stalking, here's a new onem rants of the week.I submit two:Today's page 2 is excellent:http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/090227He hits on 2 major topics which have bothered me over the ages, but paticularly in the last two years: horrible officiating (fresh off the NFL season were I think they blew even a no-call on the last play of the season in the Super Bowl, this is a sore point) and how people who PLAY (sports) for a living think they are entitled to so much freaking money. The second rant of the week is a video posted on Professor Samwick's (econ46 and head of the Rockafellar Center) blog:http://www.capitalgainsandgames.comSee his Feb. 25 post.
February 27, 2009 2:33 PM

Facebook Friday

Popularity
Dan C. is in the top 10% of pathetic cool people on Facebook.

Dan, your statistic is extremely misleading. Please divide by ten and drop the “cool.” Thanks.

Achievement / Self-Congratulation
Beth H. just solved the NYTimes Sunday crossword puzzle in 13:23. Nice.

Beth, let me get this straight: You completed a New York Times crossword puzzle. And not just any crossword puzzle, but the iconic Sunday puzzle which is larger and more challenging than most. Not only that, but you did it so fast that you actually recorded your time - down to the exact second. On behalf of the entire Facebook community, let me be the first to say: No One Gives a Shit.

Story Telling
Alissa M. just heard a man on the train screaming at his wife saying "I am calling the lawyer- move the fu*k out of the house by the time I get home!" - classic! :)

Ian G.
hahaha, you can't make that shit up!

Ian, this morning I heard a man on the C Train screaming at his right foot saying, “Give me my money back or I will fu*king kill you!” He was dressed in bubble wrap and pizza boxes.

Talent
Jenn F. wrote on David H.’s Wall.
I have to officially thank you for bringing such talent out with us on Friday night..I dont know where you have been hiding these men but they were all full of life and easy...

Jenn, believe it or not David has been hiding all these bachelors in my small one-bedroom apartment. Next time you are wasted and looking for a piece, please swing by.

Confusion
LeAnne C. is buggered.

LeAnne, I’m pretty sure that’s not the word you were looking for. Then again, I could be wrong.

Effeminacy
Sarah S. is quite the girl-lady

Sarah, I believe it was Bill Lumbergh who said, “Ooh. Yeah, um, I'm gonna have to go ahead and sort of disagree with you there.”

Employment
Jason W. is trying to figure the best way to make his resume?

Jason, are you asking us? Or, are you telling us… that your job prospects aren’t very good.

High Five!

urban dictionary:

white guy high five

also may be known as a jumping high five, it starts when two people start a distance from each other and then proceed to run and when getting close jump in the air and give a high five. While it may seem cool in theory, it actually looks quite stupid.

"Did you just give that guy a white guy high five? You are such a stereotypical caucasian Mark"


Last weekend I watched the Will Ferrell Broadway show "You're Welcome America" and Ferrell's Bush pretended to give an awkward white guy high five to Karl Rove. I laughed with the audience but deep down I felt shame.

As a white male, I am tired of constantly facing America's stereotypes and prejudices against me. This needs to stop or else my kids will also need to deal with taunts of "almost connected on that one!" and "you're a douche" whenever they try to express their emotions in an overtly physical way in times of triumph.

There are some disturbing trends in white guy high fives throughout society that is leading to our current predicament (note, not all of these need to be jumping a la urban dictionaries definition):

-Ryan Seacrest, the staple white man in any kind of televised social gathering, has had multiple infractions that are seen throughout the world, some of which are just plain frightening



-Steve Williams, Tiger Woods' caddy, had one of the most memorable in sports history by not only making himself look like an ass, but by negating nearly all of Tiger's coolness with his high five form



- Final exhibit is a skit from Almost Live! embracing the high five lineage



Now that everyone must be convinced that there is a problem, what do we do about it?

I think the biggest issue is that when white guys high-five, both participants go into it so whole-heartedly that they are setting up for failure.

First off, you can't be cool when you act overly excited. This has been cronicled in too many places to mention. At the same time, you don't want to be too underexcited, like Drew Carey here (stole reference from bill simmons, so sue me), or else you suck the joy out of the moment for everyone involved.

Second, when you are too excited, both high-fivers will attempt to connect on simultaneous swinging hands/arms. The physics of this can be baffling.

The above is also true for celebrating after a pong hit/sink. When two pumped up, intoxicated psi u's go for paddle slaps, the actual first-try success rate is close to 23-25%. Other frats and newer classes have converted to fist pounds that have a much higher success rate (80-90%) due to ease (we need to get our one pledge to validate these numbers)

Really all that needs to be done is for participant A to calmly put up the hand/paddle and hold it still and let participant B keep his eye on the outstretched hand/paddle and slap it. As a potential rule, the person who has done the action of merit gets to swing while their friend holds still. Easy as pie. I'm not going to go into air fives and the like, but this can be transferred across mediums.

Finally, there is a continuum of white guy celebrations that all need vetting:

fist pump (solitary)->pound->high five->ass pat->chest bump->awkward, where do my arms go? hug

but i've wasted enough time as is.

Good talk, see you out there

Tuesday Night O-BINGO

Ok, so I missed His big speech and yes, this post happened way too laate. (Please believe me when I say it wasn't my fault; I am unhappily employed at a prestigious, yet ruthless, wall street firm and all my deals are live.) Still, I think this fabulous idea from Americans For Tax Reform is worth your consideration - regardless of your political leanings - next time The One delivers a rousing sermon: O-Bingo! The rules are pretty standard. Every time a square is called, check it off. First one to complete a line vertically, horizontally or diagonally wins. Thankfully, ATR has provided four different versions of the card.

I'm sure you clever, underaged AMDollars(?) could easily turn this into a dangerous and hilarious drinking game.

A caveat: don't get stuck with one of those few unlucky cards that features a square with a verboten Obama phrase or word: Wealth Creation, Capitalism, Victory in Iraq, War on Terror, Merit, Individualism, Judicial Restraint, American Exceptionalism.

Enjoy!

x

(Must thank an anonymous reader for highlighting a few other phrases you probably won't hear anytime soon: Axis of Evil, Brownie You're Doing a Heckuva Job, Mission Accomplished, Bring 'em On. However, I'm pretty sure the last three weren't used in an official speech to Congress before either.)

Gossip World: Explained!

Nathalie A. texted me today to ask if I had heard the bad news. More planes in the Hudson? Another secret society usurping power of the College trustee board? Nay, worse. Rumor has it, Natalie Portman was seen canoodling with Twilight crooner Robert Pattinson. Before I could reach for the hydrochloric acid (I work next to a chem lab), I scroll up and see this squeal-inducing news, which got me thinking about this. By the end of the blog session, I'm sweating bullets and my blood pressure has skyrocketed. I wanted to fill in you AMDollars right away but realized not everyone retains gossip knowledge like the Notorious MLR. Well because I <3 U, I've made the above diagram (click it to expand).

There's a lot going on there so feel free to blow up the comments and we can talk it through.

Med School Breakthrough

Med students and bankers have something in common...they both get bottle service!!!

Proof he's no longer a corporate czar...the pictorial drawing of the ion pumps in a nephron

While We're At It...

Let's keep posting funny Oscar / Judd Apatow stuff.



Two quickies:

1) I like Seth Rogan - most of the time - but I cannot stand his voice. I'm pretty sure that right before he shoots a scene, Judd makes him do a quick-six. But instead of Natty Light, Seth is forced to chug sausage gravy, New England clam chowder or Murphy's stew (from six bread bowls).

Seth, would it kill you to give us one good, productive hock?

2) Anyone else find this Pineapple Express skit funnier than the actual film? Like, by a lot? Suffice it to say, I was disappointed with the flick - especially the last hour and 45 minutes. I'd rank it down there with The Love Guru, Step Brothers and Get Smart as the biggest comedy duds of 2008. (And no, I didn't see The Love Guru - the trailer was enough.)

Natalie Portman x Ben Stiller x Oscars

Rarely do hilarious web gems and hot babes interweave on the web of tubes. That is, unless it has to do with Natalie Portman, in which case you're in luck.

Watch above if you missed it last night.

Update: Letterman x Phoenix clip here

Liveblog 1247: Chinese buffet

Some morning laughs - "Funny People"

Believe it or not, Judd Apatow has only directed two movies in his career, 40 Year Old Virgin and Knocked Up*. Still, over the last four years, Apatow is to movies what Maria Carey was to music in the 90's, all hits.

Funny People checks all the boxes for Apatowian success. It has the usual cast of characters (plus Adam Sandler!), some LOL moments (even the trailer caused some narrowly avoided office embarassment) and touches of sentimentality. But the best indicator for success is that Funny People has earned the AMDAL Stamp of Approval.

Enjoy.

*Corrected: Knocked Up not Superbad, thanks Scos. I'll also use this opportunity to shout out 'Freaks and Geeks.' Go watch this on YouTube. Start here.

Liveblog 842: Danny's in Hanover

Told you so

Kanye may be a trendsetter but it's pretty clear he takes his cues from AMDAL. First he's shouting out our friends on his blog. Now he's dating this babe. We called this shit months ago when we said bald could be beautiful - we even picked out this girl in that Ludacris video.

Disclaimer: By posting a video with Chris Brown in it, I by no means endorse this. And no, violence shouldn't beget more violence, but don't say I didn't tell you so that good ole' Breezy's face may look same / worse in the coming weeks.

Kid Cudi - Day N Nite

Video by So_Me, same guy who did the Justice videos we posted a while ago. No witty banter to accompany - just a good video.

One Fine Day at a Verizon Store*

Last week I hit up the Verizon store on 81st and Broadway to replace a lost charger. In the front of the store there was this big, circular desk - a designated customer service area or something - and it was surrounded by a crowd of unhappy people. I bypassed the throng and walked over to where I thought my charger would be.

A half minute later a saleswoman comes up to me, taps my shoulder and rudely asks, "Did you take a number?" "No," I said, "I didn't realize this was a butcher's shop."

"What? Look, you need to take a number."

"I bet. Anyway, I'm looking for a phone charger."

"There's one right over here. It's $29.99."

"Hmm. Do you have the same product, but for half the price?"

"What? No, that's all we have. Actually, for an additional $20, you can get the charger and a phone holster."

"Wow, that's like the complete opposite of what I want."

The reason I recount this story is because it reminded me of an old Demetri Martin joke (minute 1:11; pardon the crappy graphics), which is a nice segue to my next topic: Demetri's new show, Important Things. Comedy Central calls it a "stream-of-consciousness sketch and variety show." I call it a white man's Chappelle Show, with a heavier emphasis on stand-up (and yellow labels). For those unfamiliar with the comic, Demetri is the world's only funny, non-douchebag hipster.

So far the show's been pretty hit or miss. While a few glimmers of brilliance (yes, that one hits particularly close to home) demonstrate Demetri's talent and give the show promise, they have been offset by some lousy sketches, which are only aggravated by the forced, uncomfortable laughter of an audience that seems confused as to why the stuff on the screen is only marginally funny. Fortunately, the second episode was a steady improvement over the first.

Demetri, I'm am hoping - praying - that your show finds its way. As you know, Comedy Central never filled the void left by Dave Chappelle. And their last attempt, the wretched Sarah Silverman Program, ended in fiasco. You've got your work cut out for you - Godspeed.

* Anyone get the reference to another brilliant D. Martin?

(Full disclosure: I met Demetri last year at the Yaffa Cafe on St. Marks Place. He shook my hand and said he was really tired.)

[Have any AMDAL readers seen the show? If so, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Rumor has it there's a comments hyperlink below each post. It's the button you ignore right as you get bored and leave the site. Give it a click.]

Beer League

Thursday night is beer league in the Upper Valley and you know what that means. Ro is thrashing gates:

Erik is trying to qualify for the NCAAs:

And I'm shooting for a solid not 3rd place:

Pumped up

In celebration of California finally passing a crazy budget, I want to post one of my favorite clips from California's crazy leader. You may have seen it before, its mildly NSFW, but I figure if the terminator can be elected to control our largest state, this guy controlled our student assembly, and our rudy-look-alike friend can auction off senate seats, then we are in good hands and can just sit back and let politicians figure it out

Seat belts to be mandatory in New Hampshire

Yesterday the NH House voted to make wearing seat belts mandatory for all ages. Once the prestigious title-holder of Sole Remaining State with a Love for Fun and Recklessness ("SRSWALFFR"), the Granite State has sold out. Pricetag? $3.7mm.

To put this into perspective, Merrill's CEO John Thain spent just over a quarter of that on redocorating his office. In BMar dollars $3.7mm is a ~ 3 dozen maseratis. My favorite: $3.7mm = 617,000 NYC beers = 1.2mm NH beers, or a round of beers for each NH resident.

Subamaru: 1
Freedom: 0*

*Call it a draw if I get my beer on the House

Let the Revolution Begin

When it comes to men's attire for New Years Eve 2009 parties on Upper East Side, there are two general schools of thought: 1) the jeans with a button down shirt tucked in, or 2) the khakis with a button down shirt tucked in. While the typical Young Professional traditionally opts for the former, I emphatically side with the latter.

The whole point of wearing jeans is to be casual. The whole point of wearing a button down shirt tucked in is to convey an air of formality. The two are mutually incompatible, and yet at some point someone told the Young Pro that it was acceptable and even encouraged to mix the two when dressing for casual day at the office, a big night out on the town, or a 2009 NYE party . In one sense, the dichotomy represents the plight of the recent college grad: he tries desperately to maintain that he is young and hip (the jeans) while also eager to demonstrate his maturity and professionalism (the tucked in button down). In another sense though, this appalling combo indicates when someone who was cool in college has now sold out hard.

This is where khakis enter the fray. Slightly dressier than jeans and less formal than a suit or grey/black slacks, the khakis offer the perfect antidote the Young Pro’s conundrum. Just wear khakis with your tucked in button down to the NYE party and your troubles are over. Sure, no one is going to confuse you for being trendy when you’re wearing khakis, but at least you won’t look exactly like all your Young Pro friends.

A man must live by a certain code. Without rules there would be chaos. When wearing your dungarees, only wear t-shirts, sweatshirts, button down shirts (preferably flannel) non-tucked in, or no shirt (when the situation calls for it). It should be that simple.

Man of the week: This guy

My roommates and I have a pullup bar in our house, which is nice because we can do pullups to exhaustion with minimal downside risk. Not so here. From the looks of it, these guys look like they decided to shoot this little clip on their lunch break. You know what I do on my lunch break? Eat Nutella.

A Conversation From 2049

Grandson: Grandpa, how come my generation has to pay off all this debt that your generation foisted on us?

Grandpa: Because we had to solve the great financial crisis of 2008-2009. You see, lots of people and institutions – homeowners, investment banks, government-sponsored enterprises, etc. – borrowed a lot of money they didn’t have and spent it on things they couldn’t afford. In the end, everyone got screwed.

Grandson: So the government tried to solve the crisis by borrowing a lot of money it didn’t have and spending it on things it couldn’t afford?

Grandpa: ...

Grandson: Grandpa?

Grandpa: What kind of 5-year-old knows the word "foisted?"

"Lost its grandeur"

"Winter Carnival has lost much of its former grandeur." Thus spake the wise '12 (freshman).
By Odin's eye, this kid is wrong. Is it even worth pointing out the ridiculousness of his statement? Yes. Becuase stupid people should be told they're stupid.

Hat Tip: RMC

Swagger like...Asher?

Asher Roth - New Music - More Music Videos

Did anyone else peak in middle school? For whatever reason, the bowl cut really worked for me. Still, my dad did his best to instill wisdom that my Id and Superego battle over everyday. His words were something like, "Do you try to make yourself look bad?" My response: Sometimes.

I guess my theory's always been as long as I think I can pull it off, I'll rock it - be it chain wallet, one-piece ski suit or even the occasional horrible hair cut.

Swagger gets you a long way - just look at rapper Asher Roth (video above). If you paused the video and used your Cool Ranch Dorito-stained thumbs to block away the babes, you'd be hard-pressed to figure out why this guy could get chicks. But press play and you can tell he loves himself - a lot. That's what I'm talking about. And it works for girls too. See Katy Perry below:


Lots of people in this world have swagger, but not everyone was born with it. Matt Saracen was scared shitless when he got on the field in season one episode 1. But by season one episode 2, he was already showing promise. And just a year later, he was hooking up with Latin American nurses and (American) strippers. Not an FNL fan? Fine, idiot. What about Bill Gates. The guy looked like this when he was my age,


yet he had already dropped out of Harvard and was on his way to cure inefficiency, invent alt+e+s and even crack a few jokes on the way.

So if we were all like Asher, Katy and yes, even Bill Gates, the world would be a lot more humpable. Happy Belated VDay, AMDollars.

Reminder:
Guys: Money is important, chain wallet or not.
Girls: Hiding this under that all that frump is always a plus.

Note: AMDAL'ers = AMDollars - get it? Ah, back to inside jokes I go. Hup!

Post VDay liveblog: Fort Lou's 1pm

Vday liveblog 1109pm (sorry alex)

Facebook Friday

Confusion

Dereck O. is confused.

James T. 

Oh no how come??

Dereck O. 

People are the hardest things to figure out. :-)
James T. 

oh HELLLLL YEAH I hear ya on that one! well I hope you figure it out :)

Dereck, while people can be difficult to comprehend, I believe there are in fact harder things to figure out. For example, why you are friends with James T.?

Anthony C. is "Lost" so confused i don't get it.... what is the hatch, the orchard, dharma?????? some body please bring some clarity!

Anthony, perhaps you should try watching the show from the beginning of Season 1. Your approach, which is the equivalent of opening a novel for the first time, reading page 327, then complaining because nothing makes sense, will not get you far in life. 

Food

Matt M. is eating squeaky cheese curds

Sarah K. — macaroni. 

Matt and Sarah, no one cares what you are eating - even if it contains cheese. Please, stop abusing your Status Update feature and find an alternative way to fulfill your desperate need for attention.

Flirting

Matt S. is Killers concert tonight! 
Brian M.
I'm jealous
Matt S.
I'm Mr. Brightside

Matt and Brian, what the heck is going on here? Maybe Dereck O. was right.

This just in

24 School St. Hanover.

Where have you spotted 'em?

Lost - Sole Ugly Chick Kicks the Bucket

(Spoiler Alert - If you're an avid Lost fan and you missed last night's episode, stop reading. If you half-heartedly follow the show but plan to shotgun all four seasons this Valentine's Day weekend by yourself while you drink, cry, and drunk-text your ex who either got engaged or moved to Michigan, feel free to read on; there's no way your brain will process any of this. If you've never seen Lost, there's a good chance you have a steamy weekend lined up with your significant other; fortunately, asshole, you can continue reading as well.)

Ever since Benjamin Gale donned a parka, travelled to the snowy world of Narnia and turned a big magical wheel to "move the island" in last season's finale, Lost has been all over the place. Whether you like the direction the show has taken or not, hopefully we can all agree on one thing: Charlotte Lewis, the lone ugly woman on the show, absolutely sucks. (Yes, I know Rose isn't particularly attractive either, but that's because she's old and not because she's inherently disgusting like our freckly subject. If you disagree, you're probably racist.) 

For those unfamiliar with Lost, here's a synopsis of the one ginger on the show: she's an anthropologist, she's British, and she looks terrible. How ugly are we talking, exactly? It's like she was born on a farm and at a very young age played pin the tail on the donkey - the literal version - and took several swift hooves to the mug. Then, she spent the rest of life not washing her dirty face, combing her frazzled hair or picking an acceptable contact lens color. 

In her leisure Charlotte enjoys bleeding from the nostrils, passing out, and being pale. Her presence on the screen evokes memories of Patrick Dempsey's character in Outbreak. Remember the scene where Jimbo Scott flies on a plane and looks like death because he's contracted that vicious ebola-like virus from his pet monkey? That's pretty much Charlotte, except she doesn't hemorrhage from the eyes. Also, I would never make out with her or demand she perform life-saving surgery on my person.

Thankfully, those brilliant but sadistic Lost writers have spared us further agony; in one fell -  and (somewhat) unexpected - swoop, they killed Charlotte! Official cause of death: bloody chin plus a hint of bad cough. Her final line was truly cryptic and forgettable: "I'm not allowed to have chocolate before dinner." Them's some famous last words. 

So, does this finally mean the end for everyone's least favorite character? Given the fickle nature of Lost, I doubt it. Here are some possible scenarios:

1. Charlotte makes a comeback a la Ana Lucia, thanks to Eloise Hawking and the miracle of time travel

2. Charlotte, though dead, shows up again via flash backs, which is the equivalent of her not dying, which sucks to our collective asmar

3. Daniel Faraday, the soft-spoken physicist, has his way with Charlotte's corpse, then buries it (I know, I know - such a necrophilic suggestion is vulgar and unnecessary. It's just that I really don't like - or trust -  physicists, or their crazy equations. Plus, I have a very hard time forgiving Corporal Upham for his cowardice in Saving Private Ryan.)

4. I haven't a clue. You tell me

Liberals: Smarter Than Thou

1. We, the anointed, know how to invest your money better than you, the benighted, do. Watch Lurch disparage "those people!"

2. You, the benighted, do not care that we, the anointed, are wasting your money on pork  (i.e. pet-projects that will secure us votes down the road). Watch Chucky lay it down straight!

Change is finally here: Democrats no longer hide their contempt for American citizens!

Friday Night Lights Ep 304

I just finished watching the latest FNL episode and I can't tell if I need a cigarette or for someone to just hold me.

Top 5 Vignettes As It Stands Now (no spoilers, I promise):
5. Smash and fam
4. JD McCoy and fam
3. Ongoing Tami/Coach love affair (It makes me feel warm inside)
2. Tyra / Lance Landry
1. All things Saracen (Julie < Grandma < Mom < QB1)

5 Vignettes I couldn't care less about:
5. Lyla / Tim (I liked God-boy)
4. Julie and her parents (she's the Lisa Simpson of the show)
3. If I hear one more thing about the Jumbo Tron...
2. Jason Street (Is that prejudice?)
1. Mr. and Mrs. Billy Riggins

Judd-Palin Thunderdome

As you may have heard by now, Ashley Judd (she played Ensign Lefler in two episodes of "Star Trek: The Next Generation") is going after Sarah Palin (she plays Liz Lemon on NBC's "30 Rock") for her support of "aerial wolf hunting." Check out the ominous video:



In case you don't follow: Judd is accusing Palin of championing the senseless slaughter of wolves. Why, Sarah Palin, why? How could you harbor such malice towards all those cuddly carnivores?

To figure this out, I did some (minimal) research. According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game (http://wildlife.alaska.gov/index.cfm?adfg=wolf.control) this is really about predator control. The ADF&G has put in place five closely controlled permit programs that allow aerial shooting (not "hunting") in specific areas comprising 9.4% of Alaska's acreage. Their purpose is to protect and sustain various prey populations, like those of the caribou, moose and deer. Apparently, Alaskans eat this stuff. Anyway, you wouldn't learn any of this from watching Judd's hit piece, which is sponsored by an animal rights group called Defenders of Wildlife.

So what's really going on here? Abortion. It's no secret that Judd is a big-time Hollywood liberal who's fervently pro-choice. ("[A] woman voting for McCain and Palin is like a chicken voting for Colonel Sanders".) And Palin's a social conservative - some say the GOP front-runner for 2012 - who's unapologetically pro-life. ("[I] have never wavered in my belief in the sanctity of every human life.") Good for them both. But before this feud escalates any further, let's settle this like civilized adults. Yes, I'm talking about everyone's favorite form of Mad Maxian conflict-resolution. I'm talking about: the Thunderdome.

This is how it's gonna go down. First, we head to a cold, rank basement. Then, we fill up a rack of Keystone Lights and crank the Final Countdown by Europe. Finally, we cheer in unison, "5-4-3-2-1-Drink!" and each woman simultaneously pounds a full cup of beer every ten seconds. Whoever boots first, loses. (No, foam does not count.)

If Judd wins, then we know that wolf-killing is wrong and baby-killing is acceptable. If Palin wins, then the opposite is true.

Two (wo)men enter, one (wo)man boots!

Mission Motors

Designed and built by our engineer/cooldude friends Karl and Paul out in SF, Mission has come up with a sick product that's getting a ton of press, including PC Mag and even Kanye West's blog .

Give these guys a shout and congratulate them on their hard work. They've been crushing it in the machine shop with limited cash for over a year, at times on the verge of sacrificing paychecks. All you bankers out there, take note - their deals are live as shit right now.

Beard update: Weiss*

Don't say I didn't tell you so. Last month I wrote about things to come for 2009, namely, more beards. Shortly after this picture was taken, two (Dartmouth! Greenwich!) girls pull up alongside the car, flashing their number scrawled on a piece of paper. No less than 7 times did they drive by, drop back and speed up again to get his attention. Unfazed, Weiss' Jetta plodded on. Clearly facial hair is working - it's no wonder AD got so many chicks.

*I was going to make this a before / after post with a survey on the left, but I'm pretty sure it's unanimous that Weiss looks better with a beard.

Where were you then?

Time Travel with AMDAL back to this date in 2004...
At one Ivy League school, I was in uni, trying to learn Derr's favorite color and spend 10 hours a week watching tv. Fo was carrying a lunchbox everywhere. Ro was breakdancing on the Green. Dr. Weiss was making the rink look like shit. Meanwhile, at Harvard, Facebook was founded by undergrad Mark Zuckerberg. He's now worth a kajillion bucks. Also, he used to hang out at Dartmouth a ton at this time because of his then-girlfriend...she dumped him a couple weeks before fbook launched. Because she wanted to start dating his high school arch rival.

The winner is...

Black and Neon!
Now comes the hard question: How do I pay for these things? Originally the hope was that the ads on the site would pay off the cost of the shirts. It seems that I've been out of both the science and finance games for too long, because once again it's been proven you can't get "something" for "nothing." Thus, through some unofficial side-polls, I tried to see if anyone would actually shell out dough. The answer is decidedly "maybe." The VoxWear quote runs at about $15/shirt but the upside is that they'll be printed on American Apparel shirts.

More information to come.

Stab a man while he's down

Democrats love raising taxes because they won't pay them anyway. Watching the bumbling fumbling of the Dems the last few days is stupid. New SecTreas/"Economic Jesus" Timothy Geithner, a man with the granite of New Hampshire flowing through his veins, couldn't pay his taxes. The "Performance Czar," late of McKinsey (consulting shout-out WHAT), couldn't pay her taxes. And Tom Daschle, former Senate majority leader and Cabinet-Secretary designate, can't pay his so he withdraws from his Cabinet nomination. Idiots, all.
Anyway, not only does Daschle get dinged/blackballed from the Obama-cabinet for not paying his taxes on the free car and driver he enjoyed the last few years in corporate life, he has to go through life looking like a former TV talk show host.

Happy February

This is funny for only 5 people.

UPDATE: Here's the background, so maybe one or two more people find it funny too. I'm all about inclusivity.

UPDATED UPDATE: Another classic from Stizz:
When I get nervous I tidy

Poop Joke

new DMS classrooms --if the budget cuts don't screw us.

I find myself often telling my classmates that Dartmouth really is a good place. DMS is pretty widely accepted to be the bastard child of the Dartmouth "university" in terms of funding and all, but it's still a prestigious school (note the lowercase! I shiver even writing u*********).

Just look at some of our top researchers: This guy is 85, designed the modern classroom above, and refuses to retire. But so what? He discovered and brought to our attention (thankfully) the concept of a "fecal veneer," which according to the scientist himself: "is the theoretical construct that the world is covered with a thin layer of feces. You can't see fecal veneer. You can't smell it. But it's there." Thank goodness it is. Thank goodness, indeed.

Hulu runs shit

Apparently there are people in this world who don't know what Hulu is. Well Alec Baldwin breaks it down above. As he explains, Hulu turns your brain to mush, which was pretty apt considering how the ad was the 30th commercial I was watching via mush-inducing Hulu.

In AMDAL related news: Some people say that I post too many videos and pictures and not enough actual SUBSTANCE. Well Heather and Ayesha were supposed to be posting something hilarious and substantive, but apparently everything is a bit slower on the west coast. So I will continue on my minimalist bent until my writer's block lifts or I'm upstaged.

Super(Ad)Bowl Live blog 912pm

Best one so far.