Random Thoughts
Actual MTA service announcement: “Sexual Harassment is a Crime in the subway, too–”. I’d like to see someone graffiti just above that: “Although It’s a Blast…”
I went to church on Christmas Eve and the minister proclaimed, “God is love.” I thought about that for a while and tried to figure out what he meant exactly. A couple minutes later, we started singing "Joy to the World" where the first verse ends: “The Lord is come,” and I thought, I’m sorry, but that’s taking it to a whole another level.
Is it just me, or is there something terribly sanctimonious about the people who say, "I work for a Not-For-Profit," when you ask them what they do? I asked you what you do, not what your company’s philosophy about making money is.
I'd like to see a movie where a special agent performs all these insane, death-defying stunts to recover the NOC list from the bad guys. But when the agent returns the list to the CIA, they discover that there's some questionable porn on the disk. Then the rest of the movie is about the porn, and whether the girls are 18 or not.
I love New Year’s Day because it gives you a chance to start fresh and adhere to all the resolutions you’ve made. The only part I like better is the three-week anniversary, because you get to indulge your vices again, to feel better about abandoning all those resolutions.
Ambien Sex and Coq Au Vin
Sorry for the lapse yesterday, I was not yet able to write about food. After spending Christmas in Atlanta with my entire extended family I was still recovering from the food induced coma brought on by too many rounds of twice-baked potatoes and key lime cake. The family topics of discussion were almost as substantial. The cooking of Christmas morning breakfast brought on several bipartisan compromises after one southern family member was given “Going Rogue” while two northerners were given biographies of Ted and John F. Kennedy respectively.
But the conversation that grabbed the most attention was definitely good ol’ Tiger Woods. While we started off condemning the media for covering the story so much we soon found ourselves pulled into the void of discussing the dirty details and of course all the different media theories out there. My cousin offered his personal theory on the whole car crash, which was based on the information from some of Tiger’s mistresses – that he enjoyed taking Ambien when having sex. His theory was that Tiger took Ambien before making love to his wife that night and in an Ambien fueled delusion he did something kinky with her or called her the wrong name – confirming her suspicions that he was having an affair. She then chased him out of the house when he crashed the car and promptly started snoring on the lawn – Ambien helping him sleep. My cousin then explained how he learned via Google that if you take Ambien and are able to fight off sleep it gives you a trippy high and can enhance a sexual experience. To which my 87-year-old grandmother replied, “Why would you Google it, when you can try it?” My grandfather then perked up from across the room and asked out, “Does anyone have any Ambien?” As we all headed to bed about an hour later my giggling grandmother sweetly called out, “Now everyone take some Ambien and report back in the morning!”
Now that I’m back in the Northeast I feel it’s necessary to give myself a rest from cholesterol and Tiger talk. With time off from work and sub zero temps it is the perfect time to cook my favorite healthy yet delicious meal – Coq Au Vin. So if you feel the need to ease off the Christmas cooking and take advantage of a couple free hours – continue reading to cook this and you won’t be sorry, it has a ton of flavor and is not difficult.
My Coq Au Vin - makes 3-4 servings (great reheated as leftovers)
Ingredients
- 2 large chicken breasts with skin (or a ½ chicken cut in two pieces if you prefer heartier meat.)
- 2 ½ cups small cippolini onions - peeled and cut in half. You can also chop up red onion into chunks if you can’t find cippolini.
- 2 ½ cups mushrooms – any small variety. Sliced up.
- 3 carrots – peeled and chopped.
- 1 28-ounce can of diced tomatoes – drain out liquid
- 1 16-ounce can of light chicken broth
- 1 and 3/4 cups of red wine – whatever you have around – no need to use anything expensive.
- 2 cloves of garlic – peeled and chopped into small pieces.
- 3 tablespoons each of fresh thyme and fresh rosemary (just the leaves) --- these are usually in little plastic containers near the lettuce.
- Pam and 1 tablespoon olive oil.
Directions
-Once you have all the veggies chopped up (as specified above), put a large pan/pot over medium heat and coat with 1 tablespoon olive oil
- Put on the two chicken breasts (or thighs or whatever) and sear for 4 minutes on each side. Put chicken on plate (it will not be cooked through) and leave any scrapings or fat that is stuck to the pan in place.
- Spray pan with PAM and dump in the garlic, carrots, mushrooms, onions and herbs.
- Sprinkle on a teaspoon of salt and a ½ teaspoon of pepper and sauté for about 5 minutes – Pour in the wine and use a scraper to scrape off any chicken bits from the bottom of the pan.
- Stir and sauté the veggies and wine for 2 minutes and then add the chicken broth and diced tomatoes.
- Mix and sauté together for about 10 minutes.
- Put chicken back into the pot and mix up with veggies and broth add 1 and 1/2 teaspoon salt and ½ teaspoon pepper.
- Turn burner to medium-low and simmer (stirring occasionally) for about an hour or until chicken is cooked through and carrots are soft. If you are doing this ahead of time you can just let everything sit at low for a couple hours.
- Serve chicken with broth and veggies in a bowl and enjoy.
Friday Five
I wish that everyone were required to wear nametags, because I’m really bad with names and really good at staring at boobs.
Thank God that Mint.com doesn’t have a laugh track.
Looking for a new job on your work computer isn’t a big deal as long as you are under qualified for everything and no good at interviewing.
Being terribly hung over AND having morning sickness must be a double whammy.
The hardest part about being an innovative writer of fiction is probably committing suicide; that or dealing with pesky editors.
Jam of the Week: Rihanna feat. Young Jeezy - "Hard"
Rihanna's gotten increasingly more violent with her public image and who could blame her? Getting your ass kicked by a tight-jeans wearing Michael Jackson wannabee would drive anyone to want to shoot automatic weapons and wear knives on her shoulders. To be honest, I'm still surprised he hasn't been beat up in the back of an alley - I guess if you want to side with guys like Jay Z and Kanye West and not 50 Cent and Wu Tang Clan, that's the results you'd expect. Still, not a bad video result.
(Note the video is on Vevo, a new website that, while not yet perfect, looks like it could soon be the Hulu of music videos.)
Runners up:
Nike's MVPuppets - "Dunkin' On Reindeer"
With KRS-One as Santa and Lupe Fiasco as Blitzen, you can't go wrong with this already funny line of commercials. Look out for all the shout-outs to videos / songs of the past. Bonus video inciting the basketball showdown here.
Jay Z feat. Mr. Hudson - "Young Forever"
Here's hoping this song doesn't get massively overplayed like my once-favorite BP3 song, "Empire State of Mind." The video isn't bad but if I wanted to reminisce about high school I'd think about being turned down by potential prom dates and being stuffed in lockers.
Beat Assailant - "SPY"
Can't go wrong with a combo of spy movie intros (arguably the coolest part of any Bond movie) and a rap video.
Bonus Jam: Kid Cudi Live feat. Special Guest - "Make Her Say"
JOTW isn't complete without a Kid Cudi video. Hopefully he comes to SF.
Old School Jam Of The Week
RUN-DMC - "Christmas In Hollis"
Merry Christmas AMDALers, from the greatest Adidas and gold-rope chain wearing trio to grace these pages.
Random Thoughts
Contrary to popular belief, revenge is not a dish best served cold. That’s ice cream. Revenge is getting back at someone who wronged you.Instead of throwing yellow flags, why don’t football refs try banana peels? Not only are they cheaper, but also they’re more biodegradable, which means you don’t even have to pick them up.
I never believe those tour guides who claim the students at their school “work hard and play hard,” unless by “play hard” they mean “with themselves.”
Every time I take an unplanned shower I ask myself, “How many more of these before I finally go out and buy some goddamn toilet paper?”
I doubt many people realize that a small binder clip, when used creatively, is a highly effective nose hair remover.
The Christmas Sandwich
Christmas is all about family traditions. Up until we became grown-ups (and my brother was no longer psyched to sleep on the floor) my siblings and I would all sleep in the same room on Christmas Eve. This gave me, the youngest, ample opportunity to wake everyone every hour after 1am to see if it was an appropriate hour to open presents yet. Usually this lasted until about 6am when I was finally sent to check out the loot, report back and wake my parents. After an elaborately slow display of getting out of bed and first making coffee, my parents would finally let us start opening presents, slowly, one at a time. The slow ritual of it all made everything all the more exciting. This changed a bit once we all hit the age when waking up before 10am on a weekend seemed impossible and our parents were dragging us out of bed.
But there’s still a lot to get excited about as a grown up. One thing is the Christmas meal. Due to our constant requests, my mom has made the same meal for the past few years. It sounds odd, but she makes the world’s best Christmas sandwich. We have literally avoided having guests for dinner on Christmas eve in order to preserve more sandwich for ourselves. The sandwich is also an amazing Christmas gift. You can make it ahead of time, stick it in the fridge and then heat it up whenever you want deliciousness. If you’re trying to cut a few carbs, you can just make the chicken and fixings and bake it with no bread – it’s still an amazing dish. I finally made this legendary ‘wich on Sunday and realized that despite the amazing flavors it’s actually very simple. So continue reading for the greatest sandwich of all time, the Christmas sandwich. From my family, to yours.
The Christmas Sandwich
Makes about 6 big servings – but it goes fast!
Ingredients
-2 long loaves French Bread (with a crusty crust)
-1 cup chopped black olives
-4 minced scallions
-1 can artichoke hearts, drained and sliced
-1 small red bell pepper, sliced
-1 lb. sliced roast chicken (buy a pre-cooked rotisserie chicken)
-3/4 lb. thinly sliced imported provolone (can use yogurt cheese if you’re lactarded like me)
DRESSING
-1/2 bunch flat leaf parsley
-4 anchovy fillets (come in a can)
-2 tbsp. capers
-Juice of 1 lemon
-1 cup olive oil
-Halve loaves of bread and scoop out center
- Mix dressing ingredients in Cuisinart or blender until smooth and spread ¼ cup on inside of bread loaves.
-Mix remaing dressing with vegetables and arrange on one side of each loaf.
-Top with chicken and cheese; put two halves together; wrap in foil and refrigerate at least 30 minutes.
-Bake for 20 minutes at 300 degrees or stick in toaster oven until cheese is melty and bread is crusty.
Eat and enjoy!
'Twas The Monday Before Christmas...
In the 13 or so hours of face time that I have to put in at the office before the new year, I imagine 60% of those hours will be work related with meetings that are half attended and about nothing in particular, 20% will be sending emails to work people so it looks like I'm filling the other 40% with work related things and the remaining 20% will be on AMDAL and visiting various holiday related sites, such as:
Weird singing faces (photo above)
Elf yourself - Elfing courtesy of Lizzy B- who's unemployment has brought much joy to the rest of us via taking the time to do things like this.
Disco Dancing Santa
and last but not least, looking up facts about Santa so that I can answer anything that my friends' kids might ask me in the 3 days leading up to the 25th. I don't want to be the one who ruins Christmas for them. There are tons of sites with Q&A on Santa- makes it kinda easy to predict what they might ask... I remember being told that Santa came to our house on a surfboard instead of a sleigh, because we don't get snow in Florida. Pretty sneaky, huh? My Santa was kinda like this:
Happy Holidays AMDALers!
xo- AOG
Random Thoughts
I’m gonna wear a nametag next time I get dragged to another Christmas party. That way, when I end up in some random picture taken by some drunk girl whom I’ve never met, she’ll know how to tag me when she posts it online. And then, once we’re Facebook friends, maybe I can stalk her a little.I bet when Jesus was born and the three wise men brought frankincense and myrrh, Mary and Joseph looked at one another and thought, What is this shit?
Instead of an ugly sweater party, what about an ugly girlfriend party?
Is there anything more magical than New York City in December? You’ve got the big tree at Rockefeller Center, the holiday displays at Macy’s, the Rockettes at Radio City Music Hall, the light show at Saks Fifth Avenue, and much, much more. Together, all these things really get me into the Christmas spirit, and take my mind off how unfathomably lonely I am in this normally dark, depressing city.
They say that the test of a first rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in your mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function. While I agree with the first part, I won’t be home until Christmas Eve. Because I have these damn business school applications to finish! Yes, dad’s present is wrapped. (Sorry, my mom just called.)
Santa Block: Christmas Ruiner
In the city of Manhattan Beach, during December, a float adorned with Christmas decorations carrying jolly old Saint Nick rolls through the streets visiting the boys and girls. The float stops in the middle of each block and the children line up to tell Santa Claus what they would like to find under the tree.
For eleven of the past twelve years, I have been Santa Claus.
One year, we got rained out or I'd be rocking a solid dozen years in a row.
When I was a junior in high school, my mom's service organization was in charge of the float. As an all-women club, one of the husbands was going to be Santa. He called in sick. That's when I got the call to step in and I've been doing it ever since.
Over the years, I've gotten pretty good at this gig. There's more to it than just the "ho ho ho;" you have to really engage the kids. If they ask for a toy dinosaur, ask them which dinosaur is their favorite. If they are wearing a soccer jersey, ask them what position they play. Use their name when speaking to them. Kids like to feel as though adults value what they are saying and there may be no adult whose attention they value more than Santa Claus.
The ultimate payoff to being Santa for all this time was clear: one day, I would be Santa for my friends' children. How awesome would that be? I would know their name in advance, I would be able to talk to them about things in their life... it would be like meeting the real Santa for them! Well, I got my first chance to do this and you can pretty much see how it turned out in the picture above.
The lesson, as always, is: I scare children.
All My Cupcakes Win Bake-Offs
As I mentioned in a previous post it hasn't exactly been a cheery autumn at my office. Layoffs and restructuring tend to do that to a place and with the holidays in full swing the somber ‘tudes are really getting old. Since the company wasn’t going to pay for a holiday party I decided to take matters into my own hands and secure a large room for an hour tomorrow to hold a company holiday bake off. That's right, it's on.
The list of contestants is growing and we have an esteemed panel of judges lined up for the event. With a full division of people in the company whose job is solely focused on making things look good, my competition is fierce. I have appropriately set myself up for success with my amateur peanut butter and marshmallow brownies submission in the last competition, 2 years ago. Now with the bar set low, I'm going all out and baking Martha Stewart's marshmallow cream-filled chocolate cupcakes. They are amazingly delicious.
The best part about the event though, will not be my sweet sweet victory but the fact that after I arranged this, HR realized they should do something for the holidays and asked if they could provide wine and cheese to be served at the contest. Then our Vice President personally donated 2 bottles of wine to use as a prize. Holiday cheer =restored.
Will I win? I'll let you know. But for now, follow this link for the most delicious cupcake recipe ever.
Iron Man 2: I thought ScarJo was a big star?
Look pretty cool. Everything looks sweet, actually, except for the villain's shtick. That was the failing of the first Iron Man movie, too, but they kept it hidden until the very end of the movie. Here, Mickey Rourke (as "Whiplash") is front-and-center throughout most of the trailer, waving his laser whips around. It reminds me too much of Arnold playing "Mr. Freeze": bulbous head, maniacal laugh, oversized props, and cheesy accents.
Over The Pants Link Jobs
You don't have CatPaint for your iPhone yet? You're so stupid!
Latest iPhone killer - The Google Phone. AMDALers, what do you know about it?
Also, more Google craziness: Goggles and Holodeck.
Pour out a 40 oz, Flight of the Concords is no more.
Music Video streaming site Vevo.com launches, then crashes. That's what they get for stealing my idea.
Example number 4534 that Nike + Skateboarding + Internet = Awesome.
Maybe this will finally make HJ's cool again. Maybe not. (NSFW for language and insinuations)
Trend Watch!
Italian Prime Minister Silvio "Tiger Before Tiger" Berlusconi was punched in the face. No word if the punching happened in a Jersey shore bar. Or if the punching was done by a Scandinavian wife that he done wronged.
No word yet on whether "attacking prime ministers" is a new trend.
Confessions of a College Football-a-holic
The go-to Saturday plan was a simple one: football + beers + ARod + friends = happy faceIf you're reading this, it's Saturday, December 12th and at this point in time I will have come to the realization that I'm addicted to being a fan of the #1 team, *sniffle* sorry, the #5 team in the nation.
Last weekend's loss took a lot of out of me emotionally- I'm not ashamed to admit that I felt almost as sad as Tebow, Spikes & Cooper. I wasn't prepared for this season's outcome- I thought we'd be in the title game not sitting at home on the 7th because my boys were dilly-dallying all over the field. I'm like a cracked out junkie right now- almost every weekend for the last 4 years, I've had something to make me feel good, something to give me that Gator Chomp fix. Even in the off season, there were training updates and recruiting reports.
And now? Now I have nothing to look forward to except a bowl game against Cinci, who's ranked higher then us... this is what disappointment feels like, isn't it? Even if we win, we'll have beaten Cincinnati, who's own coach is leaving them to take the head spot at Notre Dame. Add to that the fact that I will inevitably be uber hung over from New Years Eve while watching the game described above, in which they'll let all the youngin's play, proving that the next couple years will be not so great... I think I'll officially have hit rock bottom.
There is hope, I suppose. Tonight is the announcement of the Heisman trophy- Timmy could still win, right? And I finally understand why there are 31 bowl games scheduled sometime in the next 33 days before the BCS title game- it gives every fan who's team didn't finish #1 or #2 a chance to have some faith in the next season. It's like the circle of life... The full schedule of bowl games is is posted after the jump, in order of best game to worst game to watch- find a bowl game, go to a local bar and start pickin' up the pieces.
Congrats are in order to V-nasty. I hope you are enjoying your little moment of glory right now, with your beloved Longhorns playing 'Bama for the title. Please beat 'em good. Not because I like your team, I just don't want 'Bama to win.
1. Citi BCS National Championship Game
No. 2 Texas vs. No. 1 Alabama
8 p.m. ET, Jan. 7
The undefeated Crimson Tide versus the unbeaten Longhorns. SEC versus Big 12. Nick Saban versus Mack Brown. Defense versus offense. What more could you possibly want? Well, if you're a Crimson Tide fan, you'd probably rather play Ohio State or Oklahoma.
2. Tostitos Fiesta Bowl
No. 6 Boise State vs. No. 4 TCU
8 p.m. ET, Jan. 4
Yes, it's a rematch of last season's Poinsettia Bowl, in which the Horned Frogs defeated the Broncos 17-16 in Boise's only loss of the season. But it's a heck of a lot better than trying to watch Iowa's offense score against TCU or Georgia Tech's defense trying to stop Boise State. It's a matchup of two unbeaten teams, and one of them could finish No. 2 in the country. TCU leads the country in total defense; Boise State leads the country in scoring.
3. Rose Bowl Game Presented by Citi
No. 8 Ohio State vs. No. 7 Oregon
4:30 p.m. ET, Jan. 1
The Buckeyes avoided playing an SEC team in a BCS bowl game, but the Ducks might be nearly as fast as the Florida and LSU teams that beat OSU in the past couple of years. Buckeyes quarterback Terrelle Pryor gets an up-close look at the Oregon offense he might have flourished in if he'd signed with the Ducks. It also might be one heck of a fashion show: Oregon's ever-changing wardrobe against Ohio State's classic uniforms.
4. Allstate Sugar Bowl
No. 5 Florida vs. No. 3 Cincinnati
8:30 p.m. ET, Jan. 1
Notre Dame fans won't get to watch the Fighting Irish play in a bowl game, but the Sugar Bowl might offer them the next-best thing. They'll get to see Cincinnati's Brian Kelly, who might become their next coach, and Florida's Urban Meyer, who didn't want to be their coach. Meyer takes on his alma mater and coaches quarterback Tim Tebow in his final game.
5. Capital One Bowl
No. 13 Penn State vs. No. 12 LSU
1 p.m. ET, Jan. 1
It's a great matchup of traditional powers and an intriguing matchup of head coaches. LSU's Les Miles has a hard time managing time; Penn State's Joe Paterno refuses to acknowledge Father Time. The Tigers lost three games in the fourth quarter; the Nittany Lions lost the only two games that really mattered.
6. Konica Minolta Gator Bowl
No. 16 West Virginia vs. Florida State
1 p.m. ET, Jan. 1
It's the Bobby Bowden Bowl, as Florida State coach Bobby Bowden will coach the Seminoles for the final time. It's fitting that his final opponent is West Virginia, the school where he coached from 1970 to '75 before leaving for Tallahassee. In his finale, Bowden, 80, will attempt to avoid FSU's first losing season since 1976.
7. MAACO Las Vegas Bowl
No. 18 Oregon State vs. No. 14 BYU
8 p.m. ET, Dec. 22
Oddly enough, Las Vegas has become BYU's second home. The Cougars will be playing in the Las Vegas Bowl for the fifth consecutive season, and they've gone 2-2 against Pac-10 teams in the bowl. It's the first time they'll play the Beavers, who were one victory from playing in the Rose Bowl. It's the first meeting of ranked teams in the Las Vegas Bowl.
8. FedEx Orange Bowl
No. 10 Iowa vs. No. 9 Georgia Tech
8 p.m. ET, Jan. 5
Georgia Tech has the triple-option spread offense. At times, Iowa doesn't seem to have any offense. The ACC champions are playing in their first Orange Bowl since 1966, when they lost to Florida and Heisman Trophy winner Steve Spurrier. Iowa, the Big Ten runner-up, should have back injured quarterback Ricky Stanzi.
9. Chick-fil-A Bowl
No. 11 Virginia Tech vs. Tennessee
7:30 p.m. ET, Dec. 31
NASCAR mogul Bruton Smith once offered the Hokies and Volunteers $20 million each to play a game at Bristol Motor Speedway. With a total payout of $6 million, Chick-fil-A Bowl officials might be getting off cheap. It's a matchup of two great running backs: Virginia Tech's Ryan Williams and Tennessee's Montario Hardesty.
10. AT&T Cotton Bowl
No. 19 Oklahoma State vs. Ole Miss
2 p.m. ET, Jan. 2
The Rebels return to the Cotton Bowl for the second straight year, after routing Texas Tech 47-34 last season. That victory propelled the Rebels into the preseason top 10, before they fell on their faces too many times in an 8-4 campaign. The Pokes fell short of their lofty preseason goals, too, finishing 9-3.
11. Pacific Life Holiday Bowl
No. 20 Arizona vs. No. 22 Nebraska
8 p.m. ET, Dec. 30
The Wildcats are riding sky-high after defeating Southern California in their regular-season finale. But watching film of Cornhuskers defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh in the Big 12 championship game was probably pretty sobering. Suh alone is enough reason to watch the Holiday Bowl.
12. Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl
Houston vs. Air Force
Noon ET, Dec. 31
The 2008 Armed Forces Bowl was so good, with Houston defeating Air Force 34-28 to end an eight-game postseason losing streak, that bowl organizers decided to pit the same two teams against each other again. Houston quarterback Case Keenum leads the country's No. 1 passing attack. Appropriately, Air Force has the country's best air defense.
13. Brut Sun Bowl
No. 21 Stanford vs. Oklahoma
2 p.m. ET, Dec. 31
This would have been a fantastic matchup if Oklahoma quarterback Sam Bradford had stayed healthy. Then again, if Bradford hadn't injured his throwing shoulder in the opener, the Sooners probably wouldn't be playing in El Paso, Texas. Stanford might play without quarterback Andrew Luck, who underwent surgery to repair a finger on his right (throwing) hand. The OU defense will get a major test from Cardinal running back Toby Gerhart, a Heisman Trophy finalist.
14. San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl
No. 23 Utah vs. California
8 p.m. ET, Dec. 23
This game will be even better if Cal running back Jahvid Best returns from the frightening concussion that caused him to miss the Bears' last three games. Utah has won eight bowl games in a row, including last season's 31-17 upset of Alabama in the Sugar Bowl.
15. Meineke Car Care Bowl
No. 17 Pittsburgh vs. North Carolina
4:30 p.m. ET, Dec. 26
Former Jimmy Johnson assistants Butch Davis of UNC and Dave Wannstedt of Pitt square off in Charlotte, N.C. The Panthers lost their last two games in heartbreaking fashion, but Wannstedt is finally showing progress at his alma mater. Davis is looking for momentum, too, after the Tar Heels finished 8-4.
16. Sheraton Hawaii Bowl
Nevada vs. Southern Methodist
8 p.m. ET, Dec. 24
SMU coach June Jones returns to the beautiful islands after leading the Mustangs to their first bowl game since 1984 (before they were given the NCAA "death penalty"). Hawaii's past two seasons only felt like NCAA probation after Jones left. The Mustangs will have to slow Nevada's highly potent running game, which features three 1,000-yard rushers.
17. Champs Sports Bowl
No. 15 Miami vs. No. 25 Wisconsin
8 p.m. ET, Dec. 29
Neither team finished the season where it wanted to be, but the Hurricanes could start the 2010 season pretty high in the rankings if they beat the Badgers in Orlando, Fla. Quarterback Jacory Harris must cut down on his turnovers and mistakes, and the Hurricanes will have to slow Big Ten Offensive Player of the Year John Clay.
18. Emerald Bowl
Boston College vs. No. 25 Southern California
8 p.m. ET, Dec. 26
After finishing 8-4 and 25th in the BCS standings, there isn't much left for the Trojans. After playing in seven consecutive BCS bowl games, they could hardly view San Francisco as their most desirable destination. If USC's much-maligned defense gets ripped by BC's offense (97th in total offense and 71st in scoring), coach Pete Carroll will know he really has some problems.
19. GMAC Bowl
Central Michigan vs. Troy
7 p.m. ET, Jan. 6
Watch the GMAC Bowl and you'll see why Notre Dame decided to skip the postseason this time around. The Fighting Irish defense wanted no part of Central Michigan quarterback Dan LeFevour, who has the NCAA record for career touchdowns. This game might be a shootout: Troy finished third nationally in total offense and 18th in scoring.
20. Outback Bowl
Northwestern vs. Auburn
11 a.m. ET, Jan. 1
Will Auburn change planes in San Francisco to get to Tampa, Fla.? Perhaps no team took more of a back door into a bowl game than the Tigers, who lost five of their last seven games in coach Gene Chizik's first season. Northwestern won four of its last five games, including upsets of then-No. 4 Iowa and No. 16 Wisconsin.
21. AutoZone Liberty Bowl
Arkansas vs. East Carolina
5:30 p.m. ET, Jan. 2
The Pirates slowed Houston's Keenum just enough to win a second straight Conference USA championship. In Memphis, East Carolina's defense will face Arkansas' Ryan Mallett, the SEC's top quarterback with 3,422 yards and 29 touchdowns. ECU coach Skip Holtz faces Arkansas, where his father, Lou Holtz, coached from 1977 to '83.
22. Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl
Kentucky vs. Clemson
8:30 p.m. ET, Dec. 27
The Tigers always seem to fall short of preseason expectations; the Wildcats always seem to exceed them. The Tigers lost their last two games: against rival South Carolina, then versus Georgia Tech in the ACC championship game. Kentucky is playing in the Music City Bowl for the third time in four years. The Wildcats will have to slow explosive tailback/kick returner C.J. Spiller; the Tigers will have to contain versatile Randall Cobb.
23. Papajohns.com Bowl
South Carolina vs. Connecticut
2 p.m. ET, Jan. 2
Who didn't root for the Huskies to make a bowl game as they rallied after the tragic death of cornerback Jasper Howard in October? Connecticut lost five games by a total of 15 points but then won their last three games, including a road upset at Notre Dame. South Carolina faded down the stretch again, losing four of its last six games.
24. Valero Alamo Bowl
Michigan State vs. Texas Tech
9 p.m. ET, Jan. 2
If only the Spartans showed as much fight on defense as they did in dorm fights. Michigan State won't have eight suspended players when it faces the Red Raiders in San Antonio. The Spartans ranked 96th nationally in pass-efficiency defense and 103rd in pass defense, which is never a good thing when facing Mike Leach's pass-happy offense.
25. Texas Bowl
Navy vs. Missouri
3:30 p.m. ET, Dec. 31
The Tigers felt they were jobbed when the Insight Bowl selected 6-6 Iowa State over them. Worse, they'll have to spend the holidays preparing for Navy's triple-option spread attack. Missouri's defense has been pretty stout against the run, allowing only 96.4 yards per game, which was 12th-best in the country. Tigers wide receiver Danario Alexander gets one more chance to impress NFL scouts.
26. Advocare V100 Independence Bowl
Texas A&M vs. Georgia
5 p.m. ET, Dec. 28
Neither team can be too excited about playing in Shreveport, La., after entering the season with higher expectations. Georgia will be playing without a defensive coordinator (Willie Martinez was fired last week); Texas A&M looks as though it simply doesn't play defense. Fortunately for both defenses, their bowl gift bags probably will include Advocare vitamins.
27. St. Petersburg Bowl
Central Florida vs. Rutgers
8 p.m. ET, Dec. 19
The UCF Knights won five of their last six games to earn a bowl invitation close to home. Rutgers coach Greg Schiano, a former Miami assistant, has been trying to make inroads into Florida to bolster the Scarlet Knights' recruiting efforts. South Florida coach Jim Leavitt has to be thrilled that both teams are playing in his hometown.
28. R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl
Southern Mississippi vs. Middle Tennessee
8:30 p.m. ET, Dec. 20
It will be the final college game for Southern Miss running back Damion Fletcher, one of the most underrated players in the country. He has run for 5,224 yards and 44 touchdowns in his career. The Blue Raiders' defense has been stout all season, leading the country with a per-contest average of 8.83 tackles for loss and finishing fourth in sacks with 3.17 a game.
29. Insight Bowl
Minnesota vs. Iowa State
6 p.m. ET, Dec. 31
The Cyclones are really excited to be playing in the Insight Bowl after finishing 6-6 in coach Paul Rhoads' first season. The Gophers might not be as excited about playing in Tempe, Ariz., for the third time in four seasons. Bowl officials can only hope the Gophers' offense does more against the Cyclones than Nebraska's did.
30. New Mexico Bowl
Fresno State vs. Wyoming
4:30 p.m. ET, Dec. 19
Many college football fans will get to see Fresno State running back Ryan Mathews for the first time. He led the country in rushing yards per game with 151.3. Wyoming coach Dave Christensen probably would prefer not to see him after the Cowboys ranked 91st in run defense, allowing 170.5 yards per game.
31. Roady's Humanitarian Bowl
Bowling Green vs. Idaho
4:30 p.m. ET, Dec. 30
Two high-powered offenses should feel right at home on Boise State's blue turf. Will anyone be in town to see the Vandals and Falcons play with the Broncos playing in the Fiesta Bowl? Idaho averaged 31.8 points per game; Bowling Green averaged 27.3. Falcons receiver Freddie Barnes should make some All-America teams.
32. International Bowl
South Florida vs. Northern Illinois
Noon ET, Jan. 2
Another late-season collapse caused the Bulls to get shipped all the way to Toronto for a bowl game. South Florida started 5-0 before losing five of its last seven games. Quarterback B.J. Daniels has a bright future, but the Bulls had better be motivated when facing the Huskies.
33. Eagle Bank Bowl
Army/UCLA vs. Temple
4:30 p.m. ET, Dec. 29
If Army can upset Navy on Dec. 19, the Eagle Bank Bowl might feature the most unlikely bowl matchup in history. The Black Knights can punch their tickets to RFK Stadium by finishing 6-6. The Owls are playing in their first bowl game in 30 seasons after finishing 9-3. Then again, even a 5-7 Army team might be more deserving than 6-6 UCLA.
34. Little Caesars Pizza Bowl
Marshall vs. Ohio
1 p.m. ET, Dec. 26
Playing the Bobcats in Detroit was so enticing that Marshall coach Mark Snyder resigned after the Thundering Herd's final regular-season game. A new coach will lead Marshall against Ohio, which won four of its last five games and lost to Central Michigan 20-10 in the MAC championship game.
(hat tip for the rankings: espn)
Jam of the Week: KiD CuDi - "Pursuit of Happiness"
CuDi seems like he gets a free pass around here, and he sort of does. This might be my favorite song off his latest CD (go get it). The video is highly watchable, but until the very end, doesn't feel like it's made for the song. Comments welcome on that though.
Runners up after the jump
Runners up:
Lupe Fiasco - "Solar Midnite"
I gotta admit, when Bella / Kristen Stewart popped on screen in those first few seconds, I almost popped off to another video. Sorry Lupe, but usually you can't hold my attention solo, let alone the fact that you've sold out and made a song for a Twilight movie. That said, I dig this song and I like the little bit of rock and roll he's going for here. Lil Wayne is coming out with a rock album, and it's likely going to suck (patience, I'm giving you Wayne right after my rant), but a little rap/rock once in a while can be the spice my day needs.
Young Money - "Bedrock"
I Love Ya Sushi Roll, Hotter Than Wasabi
I Race For Your Love
Shake And Bake, Ricky Bobby
I'm At The W, But I Can't Meet You In The Lobby
Girl I Gotta Watch My Back, Cause I'm Not Just Anybody
[Director] SUGIMOTO Kousuke [Music] MANABE Takayuki "TV Show"
WFT? No seriously, what the fuck? I Just thought this seizure-inducing video was pretty interesting. It's not really even a song. Still, watch (Note: I'm not a doctor but [AS] would tell you to bit a pen if you are prone to seizures).
Old School Jam Of The Week: Puff Daddy feat. Jimmy Page - "Come With Me"
Speaking of sell-outs for crappy movies... Try and enjoy.
Submitted Without Comment (but tiny NSFW warning)
Free working LCD tv (west burbs)
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Date: 2009-12-07, 2:56AM CST
Reply to: sale-tnpkx-1498514993@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
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Rest of the ad is after the jump- text might be NSFW
Free LCD TV. Yes it works perfectly. Yes it has a remote. No i wont deliver. Why is it FREE you ask????? My room mate thought it would be "hysterical" to pause gay porn on my TV while my girlfriend and I were on vacation for 2 weeks, thus burning and image into the screen. So...If you dont mind a sillouette of a skinny white guy taking a load in the face from the biggest black penis in recorded history forever adorning your new TV, Its yours.
Location: west burbs
Hat tip: Lizzy B
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Date: 2009-12-07, 2:56AM CST
Reply to: sale-tnpkx-1498514993@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rest of the ad is after the jump- text might be NSFW
Free LCD TV. Yes it works perfectly. Yes it has a remote. No i wont deliver. Why is it FREE you ask????? My room mate thought it would be "hysterical" to pause gay porn on my TV while my girlfriend and I were on vacation for 2 weeks, thus burning and image into the screen. So...If you dont mind a sillouette of a skinny white guy taking a load in the face from the biggest black penis in recorded history forever adorning your new TV, Its yours.
Location: west burbs
Hat tip: Lizzy B
Jersey Shore Power Rankings
In Hollywood, the clearest sign that a film gets good buzz is when it continues to bring in solid, or even improved, box-office numbers following its opening week. Look at two recent movies, The Blind Side and New Moon.
While New Moon’s gross fell 70% from its first to its second week, The Blind Side actually improved 18%. Why? Because New Moon was a terrible movie about vampires and werewolves looking at each other and dragging out their lines, while The Blind Side depicted the struggles and eventual triumph of an overweight, homeless, black teenager – you know, the type of protagonist that the average American moviegoer identifies with strongly. (On a serious note, it was the best sports film I’ve seen in theaters in the past five years, but then again I saw Friday Night Lights on DVD).
Moving on – according to Nielsen, only 1.4 million people watched the 2-hour series premiere of Jersey Shore last week, and it pulled in just a 1.2/4 rating in the coveted 18-34 demographic. Setting aside for now the fact that I don’t know what either of those last two numbers means, it doesn’t take long to realize that Nielsen is full of shit.
Pretty much every person I know watched this show, which should extrapolate out to around 300 million nationwide, minus any UNICO members. But if Nielsen actually is accurate, I’m guessing that last night’s episode pulled in somewhere around 20 million, because it’s all anyone talked about all fucking week. Nicknames? Catch-phrases? Viral video clips of a cast member getting punched in the face? This show has it all.
(Editor's Note: Jersey Shore picked up a 50% increase in week-over-week ratings. Not bad.)
Honestly, Jersey Shore has the potential to single-handedly return MTV to relevant, must-see-TV status. I can just imagine an MTV boardroom, circa 2008, where the following discussion took place:
Suit 1: Nobody’s watching our network anymore. Anyone have any ideas?
Suit 2: More Real World / Road Rules Challenge re-runs?
Suit 3: Actual music videos?
Suit 4: How about we put eight guidos in a house in Jersey, just to see what happens?
And the rest, folks, is history. Never mind the death threats that MTV staffers are supposedly receiving, it's all worth it. I haven’t watched this much MTV since I was in middle school and would run home from school to catch the beginning of TRL. The most obvious sign that I’m addicted to Jersey Shore? We’re in week two, and I’ve already started wondering how many episodes are left. I just don’t want it to end.
So, as with all good things in life, it’s only appropriate that the Jersey Shore cast have their very own Power Rankings, a systematic yet arbitrary way of ranking every house member’s contributions to the show so far.
- RONNIE. Ronnie has been a total surprise. On first impression I didn’t think this guy would be likable at all, just a complete turbo (definitions 4, 6). His faux-hawk, chemically-aided physique, and willing participation in Body Heat cologne product placements had me wondering. But Ronnie’s soft side and the depth of his personality has won me over. Heart-to-hearts with JWoww? Ron-Ron juice? Falling hard for Sammi Sweatheart? Ronnie is setting himself up to be a key player for the rest of the season. Also, anyone who has a self-proclaimed goal to “pound out every girl in Seaside” is a bona fide role model.
- SNOOKI. Snooki isn’t anything special, and the best part is, she knows it. As a result she’s willing to do whatever it takes to get screen time – making out with chicks, fellating pickles, you name it. I can’t wait for her to keep upping the ante to stay relevant as the season progresses. Snooki is also the first cast member to save me $50. Why? Because I was planning on shelling out for Pacquiao–Mayweather come March, but now I don't have to. Even if that fight goes 12 rounds, nothing will compare to the straight right that Snooki took while completely defenseless. How she managed to avoid going to the hospital after that is beyond me, and her toughness contributes significantly to her current #2 ranking.
- THE SITUATION. Mike was a serious front-runner before the show even began. Developing a self-endowed nickname that sticks and coining a catch-phrase in the first ten minutes (“I love The Situation”) is no small feat. However, Mike seems to be revealing himself as a bit of a player-hater as the season continues. He needs to realize that Ronnie's effective use of Bod Man fragrance is a lot like Adrian Peterson - pretty much unstoppable. I’d probably rank him lower were it not for his incognito club makeout sesh that the camera rolled past as Ronnie stormed out. Did anyone else catch this?
- PAULY D. How old do you honestly think Pauly D is? 22? 25? Try 28. I know, I was surprised too. It must be his personal tanning bed and twice-daily hair gel routine that keeps him looking so young. Pauly D picks up some points for breaking up JWOWW’s relationship on Day 1, but he’s going to have to show more consistency if he wants to rise in the rankings. Putting charcoal in a gas grill doesn’t help.
- JWOWW. JWoww has had a pretty tumultuous season so far, but I’m expecting big things from her in the future. She’s currently the odds-on favorite to sleep with every member of the opposing sex in the house, as foreshadowed by her quote “If I’m single now, then it’s going to be a problem.” If by problem you mean “rapid spread of venereal disease,” then I can’t argue with that. She also has her own website now, where she bills herself as "MTV's newest bitch." Little-known fact: JWoww claims to have spent 3 years studying computer programming. Talk about a diamond in the rough.
- SAMMI. Sammi bills herself as “the sweetest bitch you’ll ever meet,” and I agree with half of that statement. If you ask me, Ronnie is better off without her. Sammi has professed her willingness to “knock a bitch up,” so we’ll see what happens. I’m not willing to write her off just yet.
- VINNY. I’ve gotta be honest here, I haven’t actually seen Vinny do anything all season. He’s pretty quiet and tends to stay in the background most of the time. In fact I think there was one scene that even showed Vinny reading a book – how did this not end up on the cutting-room floor? Vinny has shown good fashion sense with his stunna shades in the hot tub and his “classy” ensemble for a night at Headliners, but he needs to break out of his shell if he’s going to move up in the rankings.
- ANGELINA. Good riddance. The only question now is whether or not MTV moved to replace her mid-season, or if the rest of the show continues with only 7 housemates.
So now, we wait until next week to pick up the action with everyone's eight seven favorite Jersey Shore share house guidos. Next Thursday never felt so far away. To tide everyone over, can anyone think of a good reason why Pauly D appears to have the Cadillac script running down his right side? I've been mulling this over all morning and am completely clueless.
