Random Thoughts

I wonder whether Judd Apatow’s two daughters ever ask him why he seems to enjoy filming their mother kissing other men.

I’m not the type of guy who keeps a fat wad of cash in his wallet to impress the ladies. A couple crisp hundreds work even better, and they’re easier to sit on.

I've noticed that whenever I have guests over, there's always one or two of them who use the bathroom and then complain about the toilet paper roll “lying on the floor." I don't know what it is, but these are the very same guests who complain about “going in my shower” to get the hand soap.

When I was a teenager, people often caught me with my fly down. Embarrassed, I’d say, “I meant to do that – easy access!” In hindsight, I could have avoided these situations altogether by cutting holes in my pockets.

I can’t stand these cable shows where people argue back and forth, over and over, simply because they have opposing political views. Why can’t they all just agree to vote Republican and get on with their lives?