Random Thoughts

My parent's next-door neighbors keep a big red sign by their driveway that says "Slow Kids At Play." Personally, I don't think people should publicize their children's learning disabilities like that.

I think Eagles fans who are outraged by their team’s decision to hire Michael Vick should remember that he only killed the underperforming dogs.

Whenever my mom sees anything emblematic of our troubled economy – an empty restaurant, a long line at the discount store, a liquidation sale – her refrain is: "It's a sign of the times." The thing is, until this weekend, our family never seemed to be affected directly. We were enjoying dinner together and as I reached for seconds, she said, "No. We need to save those for lunch tomorrow." No joke, the next day we actually made lobster rolls out of lobster tails and mayo.

The other night I had this nightmare in which all my teeth simply fell out. It was terrifying because it seemed so real, even though I didn’t feel any pain. Fortunately, when I woke up, I checked my mouth in the mirror and was so relieved, because only a couple teeth were missing.

I recall being really nervous the first time I went "all the way" with my high school girlfriend. Just as things got intense, I thought, This would be a lot easier if I actually knew what I was doing. But how could I? I hadn't had sex since college and it’s not like riding a bike.