Buffett's Boner

Saw this story on ABC this morning. When asked about the $787,000,000,000 stimulus package, the world's most bestest investor, Warren Buffett, said, "Our first stimulus bill was sort of like taking half a tablet of Viagra and having also a bunch of candy mixed in as if everybody was putting in enough for their own constituents." Ah, nothing better than waking up in the morning, enjoying a nice cup of coffee, and listening to a really old guy talk about his erection medicine.

(Pictured above is Warren Buffett. He's eating an ice cream sundae with a bunch of shitty candy and a half-cut Viagara tablet mixed in as topping.)

And what's all this talk about a second stimulus package (or third, if you count Bush's 2008 tax rebates)? Have these politicians lost their marbles? Consider some facts:

• So far only(!) $56,000,000,000 of the $279,000,000,000 allocated to federal agencies has been paid out, a large proportion of which was simply transfers to state governments
  
• Less stimulus money will be spent this fiscal year than in the years 2011 - 2019 (I thought we were trying to "jump start" the economy, no?)
• Today's unemployment rate is now 9.5% (a record high for the last quarter-century), nearly 20% higher than the 8.0% Obama said it would be if the stimulus was passed (which it was, Beavis)

(These, above, are tiny graphs that would be more compelling if I understood how to use this blogging program more effectively.)

My opinion? I say we hold off on a second package, take the other half of our Viagara tablet, and turn on some porn* so the economy can stimulate itself. Also, lets keep an eye on all this artery-clogging candy (i.e. perpetual spending programs that expand the size and scope of government; pork). I'm going to bet it isn't helping the blood-flow to our collective third chamber.

The problem is, people who love government think candy is good for you.

* I'm not exactly sure what this means. Maybe it's like enhancing liquidity, implementing TARP, and cutting corporate tax rates. Heck, I've beat it to worse.