Actual subway ad for Dr. Zizmor, dermatologist: “Do you get discoloration or scaring after a break out?” If this is an example of the doctor's attention to detail, I'm way too scared to book an appointment.
If some tourists on the street ask you for directions to a place whose location you don't know, I think it’s a good idea to help anyway. For example, you could simply pretend you misheard the question and direct them to a place you do know. Or, you could just say, “Walk three blocks that way, take a right and it’s about 500 yards ahead. You can't miss it.” Whatever you do, make sure you speak with confidence and authority; otherwise, they'll probably think you're lying. And tourists hate that.
It's hard to believe that schizophrenia is a real mental disorder when so many voices people tell me otherwise.
At the local Soap ‘N Suds I kept staring at this distinguished old gentleman who was doing his laundry next to me. Who is that? I kept asking myself. However, when he spoke to the cashier with an unmistakable voice, it hit me: it was Morgan Freeman, the renowned actor, wearing a fishing hat and sunglasses. But then I thought, Wait. What would a rich celebrity like Morgan Freeman be doing at a dumpy laundromat? And then I thought, Wait. Isn’t Morgan Freeman black?
I grilled with some friends the other night and all they had was this organic charcoal. Organic, we thought. What does that word even mean? An hour and a half later, when the fire finally got going, we discovered it simply means: really shitty.
5 comments:
I have wondered if anyone actually sees Dr. Z in NYC. His ads are on just about every train. He has to run a side business to pull down the money to have that many ads.
On a totally unrelated note, did Makena bring the organic charcoal to your bbq?
Organic: noting or pertaining to a class of chemical compounds that includes compounds of carbon.
So, if carbon = organic and charcoal is made almost exclusively out of carbon, isn't all charcoal organic?
Short answer is that the wood used in non-organic charcoal after it is burned (or charred) is soaked in a bunch of additives to (sometimes) reduce smoke and mostly to promote slower burning.
Yes, I have been watching science channel.
I so would buy organic charcoal. And then once we were done cooking, AOG would burst open a fire hydrant, douse the grill with gallons upon gallons of water and say something like, "This is America. We work hard for our resources and can use them however we want."*
*This actually happened. Just not in the context of grilling. And AOG didn't actually break open the hydrant. Details, details.
hahahaha- that probably did happen.
At least I'd be preventing a fire by putting out those smoldering organic coals. Smokey the Bear* is proud of me, even if you aren't.
*For those of you born in the mid to late 80's and this might have been slightly before your time: http://www.smokeybear.com/
he's now revamped and looking quite creepy/realistic.
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