For the upcoming season of HBO’s Entourage, I think they should make an episode that revolves around Jeremy Piven’s hairline, and how it developed that curious Benjamin Button disease. Turtle could say something like, “Ari, you think we didn’t see PCU or somethin'?”
Over the weekend I had a conversation with an old friend about relationships. He said, “You know the crazy thing about women? Once you find the right one, other women can actually sense that you’re taken, and then they want you because they can’t have you. Of course, once you’re single again they completely lose interest.” I responded, “I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.”
I know this may sound kinda gay, but hear me out. Yesterday I was showering at the gym and this black guy came over and started showering next to me. I couldn’t resist, so I glanced at his – well, you know – and then found myself just standing there, like a fool, marveling at its spectacular length. But you know what impressed most? Its weight. The thing was really heavy; felt like I was holding a brick.
All this Michael Jackson mania has rekindled a lot memories from long ago. For instance, I can remember coming home from school, dropping my knapsack on the floor and quickly stuffing my face with Cheez ‘n Crackers and Yoo-hoo – just so I could strap on my dorky rollerblades, go outside and zip around the block before it got dark. I’d have my Sony Walkman with me – I tucked it into my tight gray sweatpants – and on it I’d play my favorite song, Man in the Mirror, over and over, and over again. Sometimes, if no one was around, I’d belt out the lyrics, doing my very best to sound like The King of Pop. If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make that… Change! Eventually, the fun would come to an end when my mom would call my name from the doorstep to come inside. I’d be disappointed, but she was right: my college applications weren’t going to complete themselves.
I saw a bum on the C train the other day. He said, “Anybody, you please spare some change? I don’t do drugs, I don’t steal, I don’t do drugs and I don’t do drugs either.” I thought, Maybe this guy should do some drugs.
3 comments:
I had never thought about it before, but it's kind of weird that in any show with actors that have lengthy filmographies, it's weird that they can't mention any of the other projects they've done in that show. If they do, they have to do it in a tongue-in-cheek fashion.
Like, in "Two and a Half Men" the characters can't make reference to "Pretty in Pink" because of Jon Cryer or references to "Hot Shots: Part Deux" because of Charlie Sheen. I don't even know how you get through a day without making reference to those to pieces of Americana; it almost makes the show feel disingenuous.
"Thank you, Topper. I can kill again! You've given me a reason to live." HA HA HA! Classic!
Maybe cocaine makes your hair grow back?
i'm fairly certain he took the hair from his chest, which was conspicuously bald in an episode.
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