Random Thoughts

Making eye contact with someone in a porn shop can be awkward. Especially when that someone is a cop, and DVD’s are falling out of your trench coat.

My elementary school teachers all used to say, “Form two single file lines.” Is that the same as one double file line? Why not just drop the whole "file thing" altogether? “Form two lines.” Teachers, how about it?

If you want to drive a stranger absolutely nuts, next time you go to the gym, start opening and closing lockers until you find one with clothes in it. Change into your gym outfit and place your bag and work clothes into the occupied locker. Lock it up, start your workout and think about all the confusion you'll cause.

In a recent press conference President Obama said, “So if… your child has a bad sore throat, or has repeated sore throats, the doctor may look at the reimbursement system and say to himself, ‘You know what? I make a lot more money if I take this kid's tonsils out.’” If this hypothetical is based on a personal experience, I think it’s time the Obamas find Sasha and Malia a new pediatrician. Not only do pediatricians not think this way, but they don't perform surgeries either.

I’ve always been fascinated by couples who film themselves having sex together. I even toyed with the idea myself, but then I thought, What if the video somehow makes it onto the internet, where millions of people could watch? And then I thought, Maybe I should toy with the idea a little more.