A Swift Review

I'm gonna start this post by saying it wasn't my original idea to write this (hat tip to MLR, I think... although jury is still out b/c this is a weird topic in general), but the more I thought about it on the tail end of my & ARod's car ride back from VT yesterday, and then the subsequent trip back to NYC later in the evening, I think MLR might be onto something with his question posed to me yesterday:

"This might be insulting, but do you listen to Taylor Swift? I think it'd be interesting to get your take (older / wiser woman, from the south / likes music of all kinds) and how you feel about Taylor Swift "playing young" as I like to call it. A lot of female teen pop stars are trying to make themselves come off older (britney spears, et al), but she's content with marketing herself as a high schooler basically. & her not "upselling" her age"?

No, I'm not insulted, and yes, I do on occasion listen to her music. The 411 on Taylor Swift is here, but the short & sweet of her success is apparent with the fact that she has taken over the airwaves recently. On the surface, she seems to fit the mold of the pop-starlet image. Although us true country fans think she is a bit too "pop" to fit the genre, she has done good for our group's popularity despite our complaints that she (Kenny Chesney, Toby Keith, and some others) have taken country music away from its roots a bit too much... alas, I digress.

So what's the deal- is she under selling her age or is she actually a girl who makes money by selling sex appeal to high schoolers just like the rest of 'em?

What Taylor has going for her in the "pop" category: cute, blond, has that young & innocent vibe to her music, gender-ambiguous name, she came from the Disney manufacturing plant and dated another famous teen-singer, a Jonas brother in fact! She's invited to all the music parties, her last concert sold out NYC's Madison Square Garden & was 90% full of girls under the age of 18- all in all? Yes, she's a total pop star.

What Taylor has going for her in the "country" category: cute, plays acoustic guitar and sings, writes music about relationships gone bad and the revenge she's gonna take on her ex-boyfriends in an un-PC way (burning pictures, dating his best friends, telling everyone he's "gay". etc), wears cowboy boots with a dress in public (my favorite guilty pleasure) and loves her Mama.

Does she, like her predecessors (Madonna, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera) sell sex to get ahead? On the surface, no- she's sugar spice & everything nice... But in researching/listening to her songs, they're all about the same thing: boys and getting with the one she wants.

Britney's "I'm a Slave for You" and Christina's "Ain't No Other Man" are just about the same as "You Belong With Me" - she's totally obsessed with this guy and that he's not paying any attention to her. Different wording but same message: Listen up- I like you... now let's get it on!!! Madonna did her fare share of sex appeal, but also did some sappy songs- like Taylor's "That's the Way I Loved You" Madonna's "Take A Bow" and "Something to Remember" all speak to a love they had, it's over and yet it still influences their lives.

In sorting through all these blond ladies' hits, it's all about the same thing: boys and love, and how both went wrong or right. While the prior ladies appeal(ed) to the older 20's + "dirty dancing in the club" scene, Taylor gives angsty teenage girls everywhere something to listen to and identify with.

In the end, MLR's an age-inappropriate* crush on Taylor Swift (circa his Leighton Meister quality ogling potential) isn't all that off base- people like Taylor because she sings to stuff they can relate to and appears to have a good time doing it. She's selling the PG version of the usual rated R "sex appeal" music on the radio now a days. No under or up selling her age- but actually being right on target. At 14-18, girls shouldn't be getting down and dirty with boys. Maybe I was a little innocent back in my high school days, but her songs seem right on track with what was going on in high school for me and my girlfriends. Britney, Christina & Madonna- not so much. Even in college, I thought their songs were a little bit risque to be on the radio & out in public air waves.

Still skeptical how I related to Miss Swift today, I kept searching... Country roots be damned- this video made me totally feel like I'm one with Taylor Swift- JOTW nominee perhaps?

Every good Southern girl knows that all men, even thugs, xo the homemade caramel delights!

*FYI- she's 20 now, so ogle away boys of AMDAL without feeling like dirty old men.

Random Thoughts

Isn’t it funny that when you’re drunk, sometimes, to get laughs, you say something so outrageous that it seems like you’re “really gay,” and even though you were just joking, and everyone knows you were just joking, the next day all your friends look at you like you weren’t joking? Guys, it was a joke! (I’m pretty sure I was just joking.)

The teacher in my humor class loves to say, “Juxtaposition is the cornerstone of comedy.” I don’t get it, because that never makes us laugh.

Alcohol is a lot like laughter. Both make you feel good, both are easy to find if you know where to look, and too much of either and you’ll wet your pants. Also, both are great for seducing children.

A lot of readers ask me if I worry about people coming to this site and stealing my material. I like to answer that question with a question: “Do you worry about people breaking into your home and stealing your laundry?” Because that happened to me, at my old apartment, on West 85th Street.

Here’s a tip: If you want to kick your Internet porn addiction, hang a picture of your family by the computer. Then, whenever you feel the urge to indulge your sordid desires, stare at that picture long and hard. You may want to look away, but trust me, don’t. After a few months, you’ll find that you don’t need that filth to masturbate. All you need is the family picture.

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Top 5 New Phrases in Medical School

It's often said that in the first year of medical school the average student literally doubles his vocabulary. That may indeed be true. Here are five phrases I've appreciated in the last year:

1 - High Yield. Refers to maximizing your studying efficacy. Spend as little time as possible attaining as much (info) as possible. A real world example? A one night stand.

2 - Fecal Veneer. See previous post here. A real world example? Your toothbrush.

3 - Off Label. Refers to using a drug for a purpose that isn't typically the primary FDA approved one. A real world example? Mr. K's (the real Mr. K) Psi U Owl Tie. So unique, this green tie with elegant silver owls, was custom made and is, of course, sans label.

4 - Gunner. Refers to a student who obsesses with number one above and studies too hard—gunning for good grades and the primo residency. A real world example? Our valedictorian from Austin :)

5 - They should put it in the water. Refers to something (a drug, nutrient etc.) that's so beneficial to your health it should be widely distributed to everyone. Easiest way is via the water supply. A real world example? No, not fluoride. This one comes from a recent conversation with Alby who was considering making The Switch: buying a Mac. I told him they're so good they should just put them in the water (Macs that is). If only I'd thought of this line when working for Apple in NYC.

Can I be a total sap? Just this once? I promise it won’t happen again.

There are some days that life in New York can feel a little bit discouraging. For me, this sensation often comes at the end of the summer, after putting up with one hot, sweaty, humid day after another. With every inhalation you smell rotting garbage and the closest fresh air feels like it’s 200 miles away. There aren’t any beaches or wildlife nearby, besides pigeons and this one bug I found in my room a few weeks ago that looked like it belonged in the Amazon. And to top it off, you have to deal with absolute nutters on every street corner, blathering nonsense or looking for booze money. No, I don’t have 40 cents and no I don’t know where you can find a circus elephant.

But today was a different kind of day for me. Maybe it was the sudden refreshing coolness that made me appreciate the smooth transition from grey pavement to grey building to grey sky. Maybe it was my morning yoga class that left me a little more enlightened and calm than usual. Or maybe it was starting my day by watching our nation’s past and current leaders honoring the life and accomplishments of Ted Kennedy. It gave me hope that that as long as we embrace leaders who learn from their mistakes, make an effort to understand the viewpoints of others – despite ideological differences – and truly believe in the power of their own actions to make the world a better place, that tomorrow and every day after it will be better than today.

“The future will outlast all of us, but I believe that all of us will live on in the future we make.”

At the risk of sounding like a sentimental loser, (you’ll have to excuse me, but as a Massachusett’s girl, political junky and lefty at heart, I’ll miss the Liberal Lion dearly), I’ll leave you, dear readers, with three little experiences I had this morning that made me smile to myself and, perhaps, gave me a tidbit more faith in humanity. Sure, as MLR so kindly pointed out, the leap from Teddy K. to homeless men eating ice cream is a big one. But today I'm seeing the world through rose colored glasses in honor of someone who, like New York, wasn't perfect, but always came through when you needed him to.

A homeless man eating a pint of Ben and Jerry’s like it was truly the most glorious moment of his life. Sure, maybe he was stoned off his ass or something, but I like to think that he was finding joy in Phish Food instead of vodka and heroin.

Three surly-looking hipsters sitting around talking about how they were moving to the suburbs to give their children better lives instead of staying in the city, which is what they’d prefer to do for themselves. And here I thought they were going to be talking about each other's plaid shirts and keffiyehs.

A morning conversation between two older women at the neighborhood specialty store about the beauty of supporting local, family run businesses – even if they charge us an extra dollar for milk in the middle of a terrible recession.

A random man walking by stopping to help a delivery boy right an entire rack of bicycles he had knocked over moments earlier, despite the fact delivery boys probably have the worst karma ever as a result of purposefully trying to run over pedestrians on a daily basis.

Even though for every good thing we witness, there are probably 10 men out there trying to peek up the skirt of a girl sitting in the window seat at Starbucks, some days maybe its just important to let these things roll off your back and to actively look for what you want to see – and for me today, that was hope.

NSFW Post, Motherf**

While driving CTF and P1 up to their to their destination (see liveblog below) we came across this sign. As a lot of you probably remember from your College days, crossing the border between VT and NH was a near everyday occurrence. Call it nostalgia or blame Bruce Willis, I still get pretty pumped re-entering the Granite State, whether I've left it for a year or only 15 minutes (as was the case today).

Flashback a few weeks ago to a conversation AMDAL co-editor Scos and AMDAL bad-day-haver Block had via Gmail. We were discussing what to do with the new logo. A sticker was suggested to which I think we all agreed. But the problem was, how would anyone relate "AMDAL" to the actual website? Would this be some sort of guerrilla/viral marketing? Would it be a real-world meme? What is a meme anyways? And what does a sticker have to do with NH signs?



Enter the new idea for an AMDAL sticker: "Motherfucker!"*

Just imagine, you're doing the same drive I am and you come across the sign above, but below it in AMDAL neon colors would be "Motherfucker!" on a small but noticeable sticker below NH's slogan. Or you're on a subway platform and below the "Wall Street" you see "Motherfucker!" stamped onto it.

Sure it's NSFW as fuck. Obviously it has nothing to do with AMDAL. But hopefully it'll catch some eyes and maybe get people to start questioning where this foulness is coming from. Heck, we might even be able to introduce a new word to some impressionable kids:

"But Mom, I wanna see Ponyo Motherfucker!"


Ah, Bruce Willis, is there no state slogan you can't make extreme?

*Retroactive NSFW alert

Update - My brother said this about this post:
Joey: its stupid
and crass
and unnecessarily sensational

Joey's an idiot and used to be fat. He's skinny now but still an idiot.

Update 2: I'm not actually going to make these stickers so if you see them, it wasn't me. Feel free to throw an "MF" in your head when reading a street sign though. It's arguably better than talking to your imaginary friend, Karl.

Liveblog Route 25A NH: P1 and CTF hit the AT

Today Was a Bad Day

I had a pretty bad last twelve hours or so. I'm still kind of upset about it but I figured that you guys could laugh at me and maybe that would make me feel better.

Actually, that doesn't make sense but I'm going to tell you anyway.

The beginning of the end began when my boss asked if I would like to join him for some post-work cocktails with business partners of ours in Santa Monica. Sounds good, I thought. It isn't often that I venture up the 405 and out of my bubble. There was one problem, though, I was wearing shorts and sandals as well as a Wpromote polo; that's my standard uniform around the office but hardly cocktail attire. My boss assured me that that wouldn't be a problem, though, and he let me borrow a shirt so I wouldn't look silly.

Up in Santa Monica we met up with our partners and had some drinks. Then we had some more. Then we headed over to Ma'kai for some sushi and more drinks. Ma'kai is a little pricey but still a fun night, right? So far, so good! As it turned out, our partners had some friends over at a fancy club. We made plans to join them but, uh oh, I'm still wearing shorts and sandals!

Next stop, Urban Outfitters! It's no biggie, I'll just buy some jeans and shoes and carry my shorts and sandals in a bag. Makes sense, right? One hundred dollars and some new duds later, we're off to the club. Once inside, I realized that, oops, I hate Hollywood clubs! It's loud, it's expensive and I don't know anyone except Mothner. So, I did what anyone in that situation would do: I ditched my bag of clothes and drank $15 drink after $15 drink until I didn't care.

So far, the night has been expensive but far from terrible. Considering that nobody I know got killed in South Central LA, I might even go so far as to call it a good day. But it didn't end there.

We left the club. Take a guess if I remembered to bring my shorts and sandals. If you guessed that I didn't remember, then you guessed right because you probably had the knowledge that I'm a complete idiot. On the way home, I realized this. Then, for some reason, while I was on the phone, I had some sort of insane seizure that resulted in me fumbling my iPhone out of the window of the moving car. "Stop the car!" I yelled. The car screeched to a halt, we all got out and looked for the phone and, to my surprise, we found it... shattered.

We made it back to the hotel room of one of our partners. I decided that I needed to end the night and go home. My boss didn't want to strand his car, so I ended up taking a $60 cab ride back to Redondo Beach. I entered my house, walked up the stairs, fed the fish and accidentally knocked the top of the tank off and onto the floor. No worries, though, it's just the hood; nothing spilled or anything... OR DID IT?!

It turns out that the top chipped one of the pipes and, as I slept, fifty-five gallons of fish tank water slowly seeped into my carpet. I awoke to find a soaked carpet, an empty tank and a bunch of dead fish. Surprisingly, though a couple were actually still alive. I filled a five gallon drum with water, treated it and threw the live ones in there. I also called a carpet cleaning company to dry the carpet.

What's sad is that a lot of fish died. I like fish, that's why I have a ludicrously big fish tank. However, I don't love fish. Ever since I got my dog, the fish seem a lot less interesting. They can't even sit or stay or anything. If all the fish died, I would have been sad, but that would have been the end of it. Because some lived, I had to go buy a new fish tank because the big tank I have has custom plumbing that, now broken, made the tank useless. So, that's another $200 down the drain and all because I felt some sort of moral obligation to the six measly fish that remained alive. I eat fish, hell, I ate sushi last night! What the hell is wrong with me that I decided that I needed to spend even more money one some stupid, barely alive fish?

I'm not sure I know or that I'll ever know.

The carpet cleaning guys showed up about twenty minutes ago, so I'm typing this in my bedroom. I missed work, including a conference call that I scheduled with one of our biggest clients. I lost my shorts and sandals, smashed my phone, spent way more money than I should have, killed 90% of my fish, ruined my carpet and the guys just quoted me $400+ to fix it.

This has not been a good day.

My mom reminded me that it's all relative. People are at war or starving or dying of disease all over the world. I know she's right. I'd run a bath for myself and take twenty minutes to relax, only, with the way things have been going, I'd probably get out of the tub to find a candiru lodged in my pee hole.

With the amount of fish I killed and knowing that fish are a vengeful animal, I'm not going to take the chance.

Random Thoughts

Isn’t it funny that even though you love all your best friends, you love the more successful ones a little bit less?

Sometimes readers email me to say they didn’t “get” one of my Random Thoughts. I like to respond, “Oh, that was a witty one. Don’t worry, I’ll do another masturbation joke soon.”

One of my buddies is notorious for not getting to the point in his stories. For instance, earlier this week he called me on the phone and just started talking and talking. Eventually, I just put the phone down because I couldn’t take it. A few minutes later I put the phone back up to my ear and there he was again, just talking and talking. Finally, I said, “Dude! What’s your point?” He said, “What? I said she’s in the hospital.”

You know you’ve got a really bad hangover when you don’t even try to masturbate your way out of it, before lunch.

I’ve learned that whenever one of my female friends sets me up with one of her friends – a girl who’s “really nice” – I’m about to meet someone who’s not that interesting, thin, or not desperate.

Spotify Got Approved!

To follow up on Block's post on the music service, Spotify, the iPhone app has just been approved by Apple. Considered to be an "iTunes killer," its pretty amazing it got through the approval process. Keep in mind its not in the US yet, but hopefully it will soon. You can read more here.

Rightfully Called Out

So I'm a jerk. Often, when I need help with pics, I ask Block for help. And he always does - because he's a great guy, he's very talented and he sang at The Brah's wedding. (Also, his hair is pretty cool.) But the past three times I summoned his assistance, I didn't properly give him the credit he deserved, until way after the fact. I know it's not an excuse, but I just get so obsessed with nitpicking my diction (although it doesn't seem that way) that images are the very last thing I worry about before posting. I add the pic, hit submit, then rush to view the thing to make sure there aren't any glaring err0rs. And of course, I forget to thank Block.

Block, I'm really sorry. This will not happen again, unless I forget. (I am a jerk.)

This post would be extremely lame if it was just an apology. So, here's a link to a fascinating story in the venerable New York Post. Microsoft hit a really embarrassing shot when it decided to Photoshop a white face - but not the guy's hand - over a black face in the Polish version of one of its new ads. According to the article: "If the ad's designers were more adept at Photoshop, however, perhaps no one would have noticed. But the software geniuses forgot to swap out the black man's hand, which is clearly visible in the ad resting on the conference table."

Why did this even happen? Apparently Microsoft thinks Poland's predominantly white population hates blacks. Do they? I don't know.

But I do know that if Block were asked to do this graphics work, this would have never happened. Because he's adept at Photoshop, and he's my friend.

Random Thoughts

I’d like to see a movie where the popular jock keeps the hot chick and the geeky loser goes on antidepressants, because, hey, that’s life.

I ordered some books from Amazon but they never reached my apartment. Instead, I got a card from UPS that said “We are unable to complete delivery because: Apartment number needed.” UPS, how exactly did you send me this card?

The other morning I woke up, extremely hungover, with this feeling like I had done something really dumb the night before. So I opened up my wallet, peered inside and realized that I had spent a couple hundred dollars on alcohol, cabs and strippers. Relieved, I went back to sleep.

In bed, I imagine the only thing more embarrassing than “whiskey dick” is “LDL cholesterol dick” because it can happen unexpectedly, there’s no alcohol involved to dull the awkwardness, and can I ever eat fast food again?

If the Progressive Insurance lady and the FreeCreditReport.com guy had a baby, it would probably have brown hair, because the gene for red hair is recessive.

Photoshop Work: Block

Ace Hood - "Born An OG (feat. Ludacris)"

It's been a while since I had a true hip hop JOTW. I remember when this video first came out. Don't get me wrong, the song was definitely on the CD-R I burned to listen to on the way to Homeroom. But even in my adolescence, I had the presence of mind to know that this rapper would be a passing fad and not around nearly 10 years later. Or so I thought. Much like Will Ferrell, Chris "Ludacris" Bridges is in the midst of his own renaissance. Peep him in the video above, "going hard" as they say in the streetz*.

Runners up:

Asher Roth - "She Don't Want A Man"

Asher's got a good video here but he's already got a lot of shine on AMDAL so to avoid anyone pulling the race card, I've demoted my favorite Jew to the runner up spot.

Raekwon - "House of Flying Daggers (feat. Inspectah Deck, GZA, Ghostface Killah & Method Man)"

Wu Tang Clan aint nothin to f* with. See the video above to prove it (NSFW for cartoon violence and bad ass kung fu)

*I heard some BG's saying it while walking into Fahey**

**This is what you'd call a triple inside joke. The first is that it has to do with Dartmouth. The second is that it references BG's, who are members of a hipster fraternity at Dartmouth. The third is that Fahey is a new dorm on campus. Are you in (on all the jokes) yet?

Commercial I'd Like To See (CILTS)

Scene: Hitchhiker gets into a car. He and the Driver start talking. After some awkward banter, the Hitchhiker asks a question.

Hitchhiker: You heard of this thing, the 5-Hour Energy?
Driver: Yeah, sure, 5-Hour Energy. Yeah, the tv commercials.
Hitchhiker: Yeah, this is going to blow that right out of the water. Listen to this: 6... Hour... Energy.
Driver: Right. Yes. Ok, all right. I see where you're going.
Hitchhiker: Think about it. You walk into a delicatessen, you see 5-Hour Energy sittin' there, there's 6-Hour Energy right beside it. Which one are you gonna pick, man?
Driver: I would go for the 6.
Hitchhiker: Bingo, man, bingo. 6-Hour Energy. And we guarantee just as good a boost as the 5-Hour folk.
Driver: You guarantee it? That's - how do you do that?
Hitchhiker: If you're not happy with the first 6 hours, we're gonna send you the extra hour free. You see? That's it. That's our motto. That's where we're comin' from. That's from ‘A’ to ‘B’.
Driver: That's right. That's - that's good. That's good. Unless, of course, somebody comes up with 7-Hour Energy. Then you're in trouble, huh?
[Hitchhiker convulses.]
Hitchhiker: No! No, no, not 7! I said 6. Nobody's comin' up with 7. Who needs a boost for 7 hours? You won't even get your heart slowin’, not even a mouse off a wheel.
Driver: That - good point.
Hitchhiker: 6's the key number here. Think about it. 69’s. 6 packs. 6, man, that's the number. 6 chipmunks twirlin' on a branch, eatin' lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea. It's like you're dreamin' about Gorgonzola cheese when it's clearly Brie time, baby. Step into my office.
Driver: Why?
Hitchhiker: 'Cause you're f!@#$% fired!

[Hitchhiker grabs the wheel, crashes the car.]

Announcer: Hours of energy now, no crash later - unless you pickup an insane Hitchhiker and he grabs the wheel. Find out if 6-Hour Energy is right for you. It's available at these fine stores. Or, for more information, go to 6hourenergy.com.

Photoshop Work: Block

Say It Ain't So! Taking Woodstock: One and Half Stars (Or, 3 Thumbs Down and A Thumbless Fist)

Lou Lumenick, movie critic for the venerable New York Post, said this today:

"Ang Lee's 'Taking Woodstock' achieves an amazing feat: It turns the fabled music festival, a key cultural moment of the late 20th century, into an exceedingly lame, heavily clichéd, thumb-sucking bore."

It gets worse.

"There are two main problems with 'Taking Woodstock.' One is the central nonperformance by the stand-up comedian Demetri Martin, who is pretty much an emotional black hole as Elliot [Tiber]. By all accounts, Tiber is a flamboyant personality in real life, but as awkwardly played by Martin he's pretty much personality-free."

The other problem? No music footage, whatsoever. Ang, what were you thinking? Doing a Woodstock film without the music is like making a gay cowboy movie where the protagonists end up together, happy.

Still, I'm gonna see it. And maybe, a "personality-free," "emotional black hole," was what Demetri was striving for. Like a funny one, or something.

Happy Birthday Neil

If you see this dapper fellow wandering the streets of LA, be sure to give him 26 jeopardy questions, dead arms or ass slaps, whichever you fancy. Last year, Neil liked ass slaps, but like a fine wine, Neil has matured and I'm sure so has his taste in celebration.

New Sandwich at KFC

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Hey guys, who's up for a road trip to Omaha or Providence?

My guess is that the "Colonel's Sauce" is a little salty and at least half the women who try it will spit it out rather than swallow.

Random Thoughts

Nancy Pelosi generated a lot of controversy the other week when she referred to some unruly townhall protestors as “un-American.” You know what I think is un-American? Czars.

Instead of “i.e.” and “e.g.”, which can get so confusing, why not just write “i.e.g.” and have it mean whatever you like?

Whenever someone says, “It is what it is,” it sounds like they're saying, “I have nothing intelligent to say right now.”

I never considered the supermarket a good place to meet people, but the other day three different women approached me over the course of fifteen minutes. At first, I jokingly thought, It must be the new cologne I’m wearing. But then I thought, Maybe it’s the apron.

On Sunday my mom and I were driving down Dune Road, checking out the damage wrought by Hurricane Bill, when all the sudden we found ourselves in two feet of floodwater. My mom got really nervous as the traffic behind us started honking, leaving us no choice but to carry onwards, even though the water was getting deeper. To comfort her I thought about saying, “Don’t worry, mom, we’re gonna make it,” but then I worried that that might actually jinx us. Finally though, when I was nearly certain the worst had passed, I said something. I just had to. I said,“Mom, I think we’re gonna make it!“ And you know what happened next? We made it. Because jinxes aren’t real.

The Lion of the Senate, 1932 - 2009

Tuesday night Senator Edward Kennedy lost his battle with brain cancer. He was 77. Read the Boston Globe's obituary here.

Brown Is King Douche

The votes are in--and by that I mean, some magazine has unilaterally has decided--and Brown University has been declared the douchiest school in America! GQ magazine just published the top twenty-five schools in the nation based on their douchiness, so go and check if your school was one of the chosen few!

Brown tops the inaugural list in 2009 with Princeton and Harvard coming in at third and fourth, respectively, to cap off an unsurprisingly dominant performance by the Ivy League. Not only did the Ivies occupy three of the four top spots, they led the way in overall representation as no other major conference had more than two entrants on the list. Duke took second place honors and Deep Springs shocked the nation by rounding out the top five.

Notable schools left off the list were Columbia, Penn, Cornell and Yale.

Personally, I applaud GQ for coming up with such an important list. We can all look at US News & World Reports and find out which colleges are deemed best by a single publication, however, when we want to know how graduates will be perceived by the editors of the preeminent magazine for America's affluent, homosexual male population, we now know where to go.

I, for one, hate Brown more than any other school ever established (and that includes those rapey schools that Oprah sponsored), so I couldn't be happier with the result. In fairness, though, I think it would be appropriate to give Brown some credit. Below are a list of accomplishments by Brown and its graduates:

• Cheating at football in 2000
• Letting Summer matriculate in The OC in season 4

Whoops, those weren't accomplishments! One was a huge black eye and one was fictitious. Oh well, I tried my best. Anyway, congrats to Brown.

Bikini Burger

If you are part of the west coast readership contingency, a Hills watcher or enjoy the image of hot girls eating hot meat, you may have seen the Carl's Junior add campaign featuring Audrina Patridge scarfing down delectable looking burgers. While truly saucy I've seen too many episodes of the biggest loser (I swear it's addictive) to know that drive through will not land you a hills caliber bod... Sucks, right? So in an effort to feed your fast food cravings in a delicious but healthful way here ya go...




Turkey burgers and Yam “fries” (serves 2)

Ingredients
Lean ground turkey breast- 2 burgers worth
BBQ sauce (I like Stubbs)
Garlic powder or minced garlic
2 English muffins
1 red onion - chopped into slices
2 medium sized yams - peeled and cut into fry size pieces
Paprika
PAM (cooking spray)

“Fries”
-Coat baking sheet in aluminum foil and spray foil with PAM.
-Put chopped yams on foil covered pan.
-Drizzle 2 spoonfuls of olive oil on yam pieces and shake on lots of salt and pepper
-Toss yams to coat all.
-Sprinkle paprika on yams.
-Chop onion into round slices and thrown on the same pan with the yams
-Put in oven and bake at 450 degrees for about 20-25 minutes - shaking around every 10 mins so side fries don't burn

Burgers
-Add salt pepper, a tsp of garlic pepper and 2 spoonfuls of BBQ sauce to the meat. Mix up and form two patties
-Imprint your thumb into the center of the burger so the center cooks evenly.
-Spray frying pan with Pam and cook burger till cooked through (no longer pink in the center)
-Serve on toasted English muffin with baked onions and a side of yam fries.

I swear, you'll be toooootaally obsessed!

America has some problems...

Okay, let's make that a lot of problems, many of which we've gotten into on AMDAL.

One of America's annoying habits has finally gotten on my last nerves: We over publicize EVERYTHING and most of the time it's really not that awesome. Just because it gets press, doesn't mean it's worth your time. And just because it costs more usually does not make it better.

I think it's time AMDAL starts an Over/Under-rated column to help with this. Kinda like a good movie/better movie, but with real places, people and things to do... and worse graphics/photos in the header. I promise to work on this and/or consult Block for help.

Today's agenda: NYC and all the tourists who are in town right now. I don't understand why these people spend money to come here and then do the same stuff anyone and everyone who has been there before has already done. Where's the excitement in that? Normally, I don't care because it means they won't be where I like to go but I have another round of friends coming to visit and they wanted to know what they should do while they're here. It's been roughly 6 years of friends visiting me and no matter who it is, where they're from or how many years have gone by, they all ask me about the same dumb, non-awesome NYC things to do while they're here.

Here, my friends and foes, is a little NYC cheat-sheet for the next time you're in town. Such topics as Food, Weekend Day-Date, Waterworks, "landmark hotels" and theater... I encourage everyone to enter their suggestions into the comments section as well. Together, we will not let people go to packed, overpriced places that are not awesome!!!


Food: You're hungry, there are 20 restaurants on every block and you're feeling overwhelmed. Don't panic or let your blood sugar dip too low.

Overrated: Any name that you recognize. For the money, no matter how little you want to spend, you can find somewhere much, much better then any chain restaurant. Example #1: The Riese Organization who will be putting in TGIF at 34 Union Square WITH a Tim Horton's. WHY!?!? Because they can. Feeling hopefull, I thought that maybe they'd try to be less "chain" and take advantage of the NYU/ hipster feel of their newest opening spot in using the farmer's market goodies, local wines & beers, no "pieces of flair" and so on. But no, "we're not that type of restaurant" says Mr. Riese.

Underrated: This is a tough one because there is SO much amazing food in NYC, I don't even know where to begin. Here is a cheat sheet to get you started: cheap cuban- once only on Wall St., now all over NYC , amazing live music & best mojitos, italian on the UWS, italian on the UES, Greek yummy-opolus, best sushi in town- SoHo location is the o.g., oysters, the best MSG soaked Chinatown noodles, best deli/ ruben, burgers = pure bliss , NYC's best pizza, for real. Need more? Just comment with what you want and I'll give you some suggestions - I think I've spent approximately 1/4 of my time in NYC eating, from absolute dives to places it's impossible to get a table at. And yes, Per Se is worth the money- it is a culinary delight.


Weekend Day-Date: You finally nailed that hot honey one drunken night, and it turns out she's not your normal bat-sh!t crazy girl. The only problem now is that she wants to hang out... in daylight. Crap.

Overrated: Hanging out in Central Park with friends. While it is something you should do in the summer, it's just gotten out of control lately and the hooligan teenagers who roam sheeps meadow have taken some of the fun out of it.

Underrated: Picnic at the Cloisters. Incredible views of the Hudson, totally romantic, educational and more then that- you put in the unexpected effort which is sure to impress. It's fairly cheap too- $10 roundtrip via the A-train and whatever you spend on grub & wine, but don't be a dbag- pay the full $20/person suggested donation to get in.


Waterworks: Looking for a view of NYC not in a cab?

Overrated: Booze cruises. For $50-100/head, you can do more with your time and money without having to be stuck with hundreds of people you don't want to know. NY Water Taxi is a quick way to get from Wall Street to Grimaldi's in Brooklyn without walking the bridge, but even that has gotten pricey, not so frequent and isn't worth the long line to eat the second best pizza in NYC.

Underrated: Staten Island Ferry. For starters, it's free. No you did not hallucinate- it's free. It has the best view of the Statue of Liberty and at sunset it truly is unbelievable. They serve beer & snacks onboard, making this jaunt back and forth easy and fun. Just don't get off and stay in SI.


"Landmark" Hotels: Every hotel has its perks.

Overrated: The Plaza, the Pierre, the Ritz, Waldorf:Astoria. Don't get me wrong, they're all gorgeous, have really comfortable ammenities and everyone should go to a black tie event at each of them at least once in their lives but they're kinda stuffy and over priced, even by NYC standards.

Underrated: As if the sweeping views and being smack-dab in the "hot" part of NYC lounge-ville weren't enough, The Standard Hotel, located on the new highline, asks their patrons to do make themselves at home when they're staying there. Little things liiiiike do the deed up against the huge glass windows or shoot a porno to name a few. Expect to see things go from this, to this and eventually something like this when walking nearby. I know where to find Scos "studying" from here on out.

Theater: In need of culture and not sure what to do? Hit up a show- it's a good way to spend an evening entertained and with a ticket stub to keep as a momento of your trip to NYC. Usually the mezz seats offer just a good a view as the orchestra for half the price- the theaters are small here b/c they're old.

Overrated: Well, I feel bad dissing on any Broadway shows because they're struggling right now. However, if you're going to fork over the $100/person to go see a show, make sure it's better then Legally Blonde, BlueMan Group or Shrek.

Underrated: If you hurry, Avenue Q is doing it's last few shows until Sept. 13th. Muppets singing such classics as "The Internet's for Porn," "If You Were Gay" "It Sucks to Be Me" and the catchy "Everyone's A Little Bit Racist" will have you laughing out lound and feeling really uncomfortable at times. It's like AMDAL set to music really. In the Heights is the new Stomp and/or Rent, with an equally incredible cast and a phenominal story.

Alright! Enough about NYC!!! Geeze, it's like the city thinks it's the center of the world or something... Oh wait- one more thing: if you want to remind yourself why each area of NYC has it's own stereotypes, go to the LES after 10 pm and stand on the corner Rivington and Essex. Not only will you feel oddly old and out of place compared to everyone walking around, but you might find this awesome guy.*

*It was just too great of a photo not to use.

Random Thoughts

Politically, 2010 will be a watershed year because no matter what happens in Congress, liberals will no longer be able to begin every counterargument with, “Yeah, but for the last eight years…”

My freshman year English teacher taught us not to end a sentence with a preposition. At first, I just didn’t get it. But over time, and with a little bit of effort, I finally understood about what he was talking.

It’s funny how something as simple as carrying a book and wearing a backpack will make people think you’re not that dangerous.

Whatever you think of his political views, I think we can all agree that Max Boot is a great pledge name.

Personally, I’d like to see a movie about a girl who dresses up as a guy and joins her high school’s struggling football team. Because she’s got such a great arm, she quickly becomes the starting QB and leads the team on an amazing and unlikely comeback, even though no one knows her big secret. And then, right before the big game, the girl finds out she’s pregnant. Does she have the baby or not? But we never find out, because it’s a cliffhanger.

All My Plaids Are Madras

When I began my career in the fashion industry three whole weeks ago, only if pressed would I admit my Ivy League credentials, fearing that in this case at least, a brand name diploma was trés démodé. Little did I realize that — once again — I was merely ahead of the trend.
Swap out your skinny jeans for some Nantucket red critter pants: "Ivy League" has officially unseated "preppy" from its wicker throne (and yes, in the fashion world these phrases refer to completely different styles). The cognoscente have discussed the growing movement all summer, variously ascribing it to recession-induced nostalgia or the power of Mad Men and Gossip Girl stylists. Evidence piles up: L.L. Bean plans one of those "new! classics! with! a! [hyperventilate] twist!" lines, designed by a dude who made his mark interpreting Mystic Seaport through screen-print. Some delusional designer dreamed up his own prep school just so it could have a uniform; his "Caulfield Prep" was deemed phony if well-cut. And then there's always this douchebaggery.

Rumblings crescendo'd to a climax this month when that most ivy-covered of Ivies announced it was extending its brand name beyond the academic world and into the sartorial.

Haaaaahvaaaaaaaahd shall launch a clothing line. If possible, please contain your excitement.

“Harvard Yard” sprung from a 10-year licensing deal the university made with Wearwolf Group, a clothing manufacturer whose name makes this all sound like a euphemism for “selling our souls to the devil so we can fund our (potentially unsustainable) financial aid.” And much like admissions to Harvard itself, the first collections will be strictly menswear, with styles for women and select minorities to eventually follow.
These pictures fail to do the details justice: the crucial “Harvard Yard” label inside the collars, the crimson threading on the buttonholes. It is assumed that the wearer will already have fine leather accessories and a misguided sense of entitlement. And all of it could be yours for between $165 and $496 — mere pennies compared to actual enrollment at Harvard, and without all that silly work!

Yves Saint Laurent famously said, “Fashion fades; style is eternal.” Go Wikipedia “Harvard Style,” and you get a citation system and a sex act. I rest my case.

I realize there may be some Crimson sympathizers out there who would challenge another Ivy to do better. Fair enough. Let’s go down the list:

• Brown: Although not really an Ivy, sells organic fair-trade hemp t-shirts left blank for free expression without fear of failure.
• Columbia: Takes over local stores to the dismay of the West Harlem community, and gentrifies them into an American Apparel stocked only with black v-necks, leggings and ennui.
• Cornell: Releases the next “Ivy line” in a desperate bid to emulate Harvard and seem “with it.” Barely musters Canal-Street quality but looks fine next to Miley Cyrrus’ shit at Wal-Mart.
• Penn: Wharton vetoes on grounds that ROI wouldn’t be worth dilution of the university’s name.
• Princeton: Briefly ponders swallowing pride long enough to release a limited-edition tie with J. Press, but only if the economy gets a lot worse.
  
• Yale: While a clothing line would go along with “that whole Yale thing,” as Patrick Bateman so eloquently put it, insecurity over Eli clothes never beating Harvard’s stymies any initiative.

And then there’s Dartmouth.

We don’t like to brag, but the masses have been trying to buy into our mystique for decades:

Okay, you might say, so your college inspired the movie that would come to provide a template for cinematic comedy for the rest of the century, so what? Show me some real Dartmouth flair style.

Fair enough.

Harvard Yard's creative director told Women’s Wear Daily (sub. req'd; this is some serious shit) that his designers drew from "photos of students lounging in Harvard Yard in the sixties." I'm going to assume he’s referring to Take Ivy, a 1960s monograph from Japanese photographer Teruyoshi Hyashida. He spent 1965 traveling up and down the East Coast, snapping away on Ivy campuses in order to capture that certain je ne sais quoi the Ivy League style has (and apparently the Japanese really, really want). Currently out of print, copies of the book can fetch as much as $1,500 on eBay.

HY may have drawn inspiration for Harvard’s line from the book, but Hanover’s campus is its dominant trendsetter:
I myself chalk this up to the sheer force exerted by our combination of kickass, frattiness and rugged (veering into crunchy?) good looks. Oh, and that the womynz hadn’t yet infiltrated this great bastion of white manly privilege. After all, this was many years ago:

HOLY CARD CATALOGS, BATMAN!

Forgetting the Stone Age technology, was it really all that different back then? Could there still a place for Ivy fashion — the 2/3 sacque suits and knit ties of bygone years? Can't we say "Goodbye, Jon Hamm," and openly, tightly and passionately embrace Don Draper? I mean, Dartmouth hasn't changed all that much if you really think about it.

Sweet dudes predominate both then and now. Clearly.
And Dartmouth was totally progressive. Like, girls were allowed on campus even if they were the gender too weak to matriculate:
As long as they were Playboy Bunnies.
On-campus food posed dangers then, as now; one can always find comfort in the grill line.
There always has been, and always will be, This Guy.
The Green is still the primary spot to pick up some face time (now with fewer varsity jackets).
And, obviously, ankle bones never actually go out of style.
There's no real reason not to hoist up your khakis and wear that Ivy-educated heart on your sleeve.
Okay sure, the shorts were a little tighter:
So maybe people smoked more.
And Zete hadn't been de-recognized for that whole date rape newsletter thing yet. 'Twas a simpler time:
Oh, and this. This might've changed:
Details. Mere details.

Solid rule of thumb: If you wouldn't stick it on the rear window of your car, don't wear it on your shirt.
For further reading, definitely check out A Continuous Lean. It's among the many menswear*-focused blogs out there, and where I got the scans from Take Ivy (rather than, say, shelling out two grand for a book). This post was also brought to you by the letters A and my muse of choice this evening, Blue Moon. If I wanted to go for topical authenticity, I would have gone with Keystone, but instead I went for good taste. As usual.

*I've recently become fascinated by the world of menswear, a magical land where sizes actually correspond to measurements instead of self-esteem issues. It just blows my delicate feminine mind.

Close Encounters of an Awkward Kind: Oh the People You See.

As the post college years drag on, I’m sure I’m not the only one who finds myself developing a bit of a routine. This is especially true in the mornings, where I have perfected the art of getting to work at exactly the last possible minute I feel comfortable showing up. Every morning I leave my house around 9:20, walk the 16 downtown blocks and 3 crosstown blocks that separate my apartment and my office. Every other day I stop at the same Starbucks for a venti iced coffee with milk. Usually I walk on the east side of the street to stay in the shade. Basically, I have my commute down to a science. And this also involves seeing the exact same people every single morning, entrenched in their own daily routine.

Having an overactive imagination, I like to pretend like I know about these people’s lives, and I entertain myself during my boring, tedious walks to work by making up little nicknames and back stories for them. First, there’s Ambiguously Gay Mr. Fix It. He sits outside his apartment with his dog all morning, pretending to read a book or futz with his motorcycle while secretly people watching. Part of me likes to think he’s in a band and that’s why he’s never at work during the day.

Then there’s my personal favorite, Dad with Cute Asian Daughter. I often pass him in the 20’s, depending on whether I delay my departure by putting a little more TLC than usual into my lunch or sitting around for an extra ten minutes to watch an especially interesting NY1 segment on bus schedules. I like to imagine that he’s taking his daughter to preschool while her mom, a busy lawyer, is bringing home the bacon and providing a strong female role model for her young, adorable daughter. There’s also Wannabe LeBron, Fashionable Wheelchair Girl, Omnipresent Homeless Guy (seriously, he's everywhere) and Overly Nice Doorman, among others.

The real problem occurs when I see these people so often that I begin to think we’re friends. It’s that dangerous moment when the lines between reality and fantasy become blurred and I say hi and smile at little Sally when I see her and Dad in line at the grocery store on a Wednesday night. This out-of-context gesture at best elicits a blank stare, and at worst a look that says, “Stop talking to my baby you creep.” This is because in the world that exists outside my brain, I don’t actually know these people and they don’t know me. I knew I had to draw the line today when, on my morning walk, I didn’t see DWCAD and got a little worried. I found myself speculating about what could have happened to them. Maybe Mom was sick with swine flu. Or they were on vacation in Bermuda. And then I realized, life is too short to waste time worrying about imaginary friends.

Random Thoughts

I have three issues with the critically acclaimed “Mad Men”: there’s no racial diversity, the show’s not very funny and there are too many silent moments. The writers could address these simply by creating a black character – a funny creative director or a funny senior partner – who has a hilarious catch phrase, “What’choo talkin’ bout, Draper?” or something funny like that. Then, layer in a laugh track every time he says it.

I regret that I didn’t go to one of those “party schools” where everyone parties all the time and no one takes life too seriously, because I’m doing that now, in my late 20’s, and it’s a lot of fun.

A lot of people think that in English, every sentence must end with a period, question mark or exclamation point. What they’re forgetting, of course, are quotation marks and parentheses. But what about asterisks, brackets and footnotes? No, now you’re taking it too far.

Some of my friends still make “69” jokes. Personally, I don’t think people should joke about something so horrible for the guy.

Here’s a tip to avoid getting glasses: Before the doctor comes in, go over to the eye exam and quickly memorize the last line. To help, make up a sentence in which each word starts with a letter corresponding to a letter in the line. For example, if it reads: P E Z O L C F T D, come up with something like, “Poseidon Egged Zeus’ Oldsmobile Limousine, Causing (the) Finish To Deteriorate.” Since you’ll have to read it both ways, come up with a second coherent sentence, but one that begins with a d-word. Finally, pat yourself on the back, because you only have to do this for two more lines and then, no glasses!

Mad Men + Hulu

No time to talk. Watch now.

Always great analysis from Vulture. Episode 1 breakdown here.